Roommates DIY Air Freshener Backfire: AITA for Honesty?

AITA for criticizing my roommate's DIY air freshener? A clash of scents leads to tension in the apartment, sparking a debate on politeness and preferences.

Sophia

Published in Interesting
15 Jul 2025

Roommates DIY Air Freshener Backfire: AITA for Honesty?

Kyle’s “life hack” sounded harmless, until it took over the whole apartment. One minute OP and Kyle are just roommates in a small space, and the next minute the place smells like a DIY holiday candle that got lost on the way to a funeral home.

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It started when Kyle decided the apartment “smells stale” and boiled cinnamon sticks, cloves, and whatever else he threw in, for hours. OP says the smell hit even from the hallway, and when he finally told Kyle it smelled awful, Kyle took it like a personal attack, like OP insulted someone’s grandma. Now Kyle is spraying the mix daily, and OP’s eyes are burning.

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Here’s the part where honesty turns into a roommate feud.

Original Post

Okay, so I (19M) and my roommate Kyle (20M) live in this small apartment. He’s always trying “life hacks” he sees online, which is whatever, fine. But last week, he decided the place “smells stale” and literally boiled some cinnamon sticks, cloves, and other stuff; I don’t know, it was like reddish leaves or something?

For HOURS. I could smell it from the hallway before I even got to the door.

It was like an Amish person going into a Bed Bath & Beyond for the first time. I told him it smells like a funeral home (which it did, not gonna lie), and he got so offended, like I insulted his grandma.

Now he’s spraying it in the living room every day and acting weird about it. I feel bad because he was trying to be nice, but also my eyes were literally burning.

AITA?

The situation surrounding the homemade air freshener serves as a reminder of how scents can significantly affect our emotional landscape. The overwhelming aroma of boiled cinnamon sticks and cloves, described as reminiscent of a funeral, is not just an olfactory nuisance but a potential catalyst for conflict in a shared living space. This reaction to scent underscores the importance of personal preferences and their role in cohabitation. When one roommate finds the fragrance unbearable, it is essential to address these feelings constructively. By acknowledging that scents can evoke strong emotional responses, the roommates can engage in a dialogue that respects each other's comfort levels. This awareness is key to navigating the complexities of shared living arrangements, turning a potentially awkward confrontation into an opportunity for mutual understanding and compromise.

Comment from u/Discount_Mithral

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Comment from u/Classic-Passenger-17

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OP tried to explain the boiled cinnamon and cloves were way too strong, and Kyle immediately acted like he’d been personally disrespected.

Effective communication is crucial in resolving conflicts over personal preferences, particularly in close relationships where differing tastes can lead to misunderstandings. This approach not only helps in addressing the issue at hand but also preserves the emotional connection between the individuals involved.

Instead of bluntly stating, 'Your air freshener stinks,' consider reframing your feedback in a more constructive manner that highlights your personal experience with the scent. For instance, use 'I' statements like, 'I find the scent overwhelming,' which encourages a more understanding discussion and significantly minimizes defensiveness on the part of the listener. This technique can help both parties feel heard and respected, ultimately leading to a more productive conversation and a resolution that satisfies everyone.

Comment from u/Tess408

Comment from u/Own-Equal7680

After the “funeral home” comment landed, Kyle doubled down and started spraying the air freshener in the living room every day.

When discussing sensitive topics, honesty should be tempered with tact and consideration for the other person's feelings. "the way we communicate our truths can either build bridges or create walls." Instead of being blunt, aim for constructive feedback that respects your roommate's emotions and encourages open communication. This approach can help preserve harmony in your living space, allowing for a more positive atmosphere overall.

Additionally, consider suggesting alternatives that respect both your preferences while validating their efforts. For example, proposing a scent trial period can be an effective way to find a middle ground that works for both parties. This not only shows that you value their input but also fosters a collaborative spirit in your shared environment, ultimately leading to a more enjoyable living experience.

This reminds me of a girlfriend whose boyfriend refused to skip a tourist stop after 19 hours.

Comment from u/Big_Independence6340

Comment from u/drgrouchy

The apartment went from “stale smell problem” to “OP’s eyes are literally burning” real fast, and Kyle still thinks he’s doing the right thing.

To prevent future conflicts over personal preferences, a structured approach can be beneficial for all parties involved. Start immediately by discussing your air freshener concerns openly with your roommate, using 'I' statements to express your feelings without placing blame. This method encourages a more constructive dialogue and helps in finding common ground. In the short term, both of you can experiment with different scents or options that appeal to both parties, perhaps trying neutral or natural scents that are less likely to be divisive.

Long-term, consider establishing a monthly roommate check-in to discuss preferences and any issues that may arise before they escalate into larger conflicts. This proactive communication can help maintain a harmonious living environment while respecting individual tastes and preferences. By regularly checking in with each other, you can create a space where both roommates feel valued and understood, ultimately enhancing your overall living experience together.