These Women Have Shared The Moments That Men Scared Them But Probably Did Not Even Realise It
The worst part is that some men have no idea how they make women feel...
Some of the smallest moments can leave the biggest chill. In this Reddit thread, women shared the everyday things men do that feel unsettling, even when the men involved may not realize it at all.
The original question asked women of Reddit what men do that scares them, and the answers quickly turned into a long list of uncomfortable encounters, from unwanted touching to aggressive behavior and boundary pushing. The stories are different, but the pattern is hard to miss.
Too much pressure, too soon
Getting really intense about our relationship/friendship really early on. A lot of guys turn women into this kind of fantasy thing that’s supposed to make them whole/help them change or whatever. Sir, I am the main character in my own life, not just a supporting one in yours. When you put that pressure on me right away and without reciprocation, I know that I don’t actually matter; you’ve been taught that women serve you.
The testimonies shared by women in recent discussions highlight a disturbing reality: the pervasive fear that arises from gender dynamics. It is evident that many women feel vulnerable in environments where men hold dominant positions, a sentiment echoed in the responses collected on platforms like Reddit. This vulnerability is not an isolated feeling but a reflection of entrenched societal norms that perpetuate power imbalances. These narratives reveal how the anxiety experienced in these situations is often rooted in a broader cultural context rather than being merely personal. They contribute to a cycle of chronic stress that can significantly impact mental health, underscoring the urgent need for a societal shift in how gender dynamics are perceived and addressed.
That kind of pressure is exactly what made this thread hit a nerve.
What? This is so creepy
Messages you on a dating app, commenting on having found your profile and that they are in the same location as you; they can see you, but you can't see them. I had a guy do this on a fully packed train I was on to go to work. I'm not an anxious person, but it felt really uncomfortable.
This happens way too often
English isn't my first language, so I can't really generalize this, but asking if I need a ride and then pestering me when I decline is unsettling.I used to walk home from school when this old man literally parked his car in front of me while I was crossing a small parking lot and asked if I needed a ride. I lied and said the house at the end of the block was my house. He did it several more times until I had to change my walking route. It was a longer way, but I felt safe again.
Several women said the same thing in different ways, and it all came back to not being left alone.
Stop! Following! Women!
Following you to your car to get your number.Don't. Ever. Do. That.
Today a man walked directly into my way in a hallway, and then refused to move for me?
Standing in doorways/blocking exits.
What would possess someone to say that???
While talking online, I say, "I don't know about meeting up," and their response is, "You are more likely to be raped by someone you actually know in person."Yup... Not meeting up now.
That reply did exactly the opposite of what it was probably meant to do.
Just don't touch us?
I've been approached several times in public by random men who say they want to be friends with me.One leaned in really close to have a conversation and asked me where I was from and where I lived. Another grabbed my hands and remarked on how soft my skin is. Another one literally locked arms with me and dragged me to a coffee shop to "get to know me" and then later told me to come with him to a more private place for a view of the city. I weakly joke about it sometimes, but in the moment, it really does make me nervous. I don't know if I just look really unimposing (I'm an Asian woman, but I'm taller than average?) but I'm not sure why it happens.Regardless, please don't just grab random women, even out of friendliness, and respect personal space.
Also, if you’re dealing with personal space violations, see how one coworker’s nosiness got shut down with professional boundaries.
Avoid creepy-seeming questions!
Flirting is fun, so long as you don't "flirt" by asking me where I live, if I live alone, and (as an expat) if I know people in the area. If you want to chat, flirt, or get to know me, don't start with the questions that set off alarm bells in my head.
Stop using your physical advantage!
Blocking my path or physically holding me in place if they are not done talking to me. Basically, using more strength or size to restrict my motion in any way.
WTF
On a Tinder date, this guy kept telling me how beautiful my skin was while he watched me eat (he didn't get anything). There was no second date.
Nice people don't have to tell you they are!
Any time someone tries really hard to convince me he's a "nice guy." Every guy I've met that desperately brings it up every chance he gets isn't usually very nice. It always makes me wonder what they are trying to hide. Like, why do I have to think you're nice? Prove it with your actions; don't tell me repeatedly.
Being nice is not the same as flirting
God, the number of old guys who hit on me when I worked customer service. Being nice does not equal flirting, especially when their whole job is to be nice.
This is so gross
I had a guy come into the store where I worked and leave within ten minutes. Not even five minutes after he left, he had searched me up on Instagram and messaged me, as well as all other social media. He didn’t have my last name and literally sat in the parking lot to search me up and message me. Then he came into the store a lot more to learn what shifts I worked and was always there. That’s not endearing or cool; it’s creepy and makes me not want to go to work anymore.
Huge red flag
Driving really aggressively and having road rage. When I was younger and dating, I had so many experiences as a passenger with young guys who were otherwise normal but really intense and scary when they got behind the wheel. It always seemed like a red flag.
Refusing to be in public spaces is a red flag!
Wanting to go to a secluded location if I don't know you well. People on Tinder would suggest going on hikes or taking a walk after dinner on first dates. It didn't even cross their minds that I would not want to be alone with them on a date.
Why do they always put their hand on your back when they walk past?!?!
Touching you in any way without permission, even if it seems harmless to you.Unfortunately, that happens rather often in retail.Don't touch my shoulder when you talk to me. Don't stroke my hair. Don't caress my hand when you give me your money. Don't touch my ass or my boobs or anything at all! Please respect my personal space.It freaks me out when male strangers come near me and touch me in any way.It gets extra creepy when they start to compliment me and won't stop trying to "befriend" me. Your compliment in those situations doesn't make me happy; it scares me. I need to leave my work later, and I am scared that you will wait for me outside and catch me.
Women aren't emojis!
More annoying than scary, but telling women to smile.
No is not a negotiation!
Thinking no isn't the final answer. Believing that with a little more convincing, I'll say yes. It makes me believe you don't respect me and worries me how far you will go after I say no.
Ugh, women are so tired of being treated this way. So, men, please be better!
When a guy won't give up. He doesn't even have to be physically present. Being an adamant jerk over text is enough to terrorize you sometimes.
Do you have any times when men have creeped you out without noticing? Share them below.
View the original thread on Reddit here.
The experiences shared by women in the recent discussions highlight a pervasive sense of fear that can arise in everyday situations. This fear often reflects a broader societal issue where women feel their safety is compromised, even in innocuous interactions. This heightened awareness is not merely a personal response but is rooted in societal conditioning and past experiences that teach women to be vigilant. Understanding these dynamics is essential for grasping how fear influences social interactions and why many women feel the need to navigate their lives with caution.
The article sheds light on how women's fears in public spaces are intertwined with pervasive societal issues such as harassment and violence. The shared experiences reveal that these fears extend beyond individual encounters; they are indicative of a larger cultural landscape that shapes women's interactions with men. This collective anxiety underscores the urgent need for men to recognize the implications of their actions. By fostering an awareness of how their behavior can influence women's sense of safety, men can contribute to a more respectful and supportive environment. The narratives shared by women in the article serve as a poignant reminder of the everyday realities they face, highlighting a crucial call to action for societal change.
The recent revelations shared by women about their frightening encounters with men highlight the intricate dynamics of fear in everyday interactions. These anecdotes illustrate how seemingly innocuous moments can morph into sources of anxiety for women, often without the perpetrators being aware of their impact. The need for empathy and heightened awareness in social settings has never been more critical. By fostering understanding among all individuals, we can create safer environments where everyone feels secure and respected.
The recent surge in discussions about women's experiences with fear and discomfort in everyday interactions highlights a critical need for societal change. The stories shared by women about moments that scared them, often without the offenders' awareness, reveal deep-seated issues in gender dynamics. It is essential to recognize that these experiences are not isolated incidents but rather symptoms of a broader cultural problem. Educational programs that focus on emotional intelligence and awareness of gender dynamics can play a pivotal role in transforming these interactions. By encouraging empathy and fostering open dialogues, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that contribute to a hostile environment for women. The path to creating safer, more inclusive spaces lies in our collective commitment to understanding and addressing these issues head-on.
Want advice on handling a friend who “burdens you” with trust issues? Read this AITA about setting boundaries with an overwhelming friend.
