30 Self-Portraits Artist Has Made While Under The Influence Of Different Drugs, And They Perfectly Show How They’ve Affected His Perspective

Some of the drugs were legal; others were not. Sadly, he has suffered brain damage.

Some artists keep a sketchbook. Bryan Lewis Saunders turned his own face into a long-running experiment.

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In 1995, he committed to making a self-portrait every day for the rest of his life, and by the time his project had stretched into thousands of drawings, he pushed it further with a series called Under The Influence. The portraits were made while he was taking different drugs, and the results range from unsettling to strangely revealing.

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Here are some of the most memorable self-portraits from the series, along with the story behind how they came to be. Read on.

1. Opium

Self-portrait with clinical, subdued mood after taking Klonopin and Celexabryanlewissaunders
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2. 3mg Klonopin

2. 3mg Klonopinbryanlewissaunders
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3. Celexa (Dosage Unknown)

3. Celexa (Dosage Unknown)bryanlewissaunders

4. 1/2 Gram Cocaine

4. 1/2 Gram Cocainebryanlewissaunders

5. 1 Shot Of Dilaudid / 3 Shots Of Morphine (In The ER With Kidney Stones)

5. 1 Shot Of Dilaudid / 3 Shots Of Morphine (In The ER With Kidney Stones)bryanlewissaunders

6. Alcohol

Self-portrait showing altered perspective after cocaine, Dilaudid, morphine, and marijuana usebryanlewissaunders

7. Marijuana (G13)

7. Marijuana (G13)bryanlewissaunders

8. Bath Salts

8. Bath Saltsbryanlewissaunders

9. Heroin (Snorted)

9. Heroin (Snorted)bryanlewissaunders

10. 15mg Buspar (Snorted)

10. 15mg Buspar (Snorted)bryanlewissaunders

11. Psilocybin Mushrooms (2 Caps Onset)

11. Psilocybin Mushrooms (2 Caps Onset)bryanlewissaunders

12. 90mg Abilify (After 3 Months Usage 3x Maximum Dose)

12. 90mg Abilify (After 3 Months Usage 3x Maximum Dose)bryanlewissaunders

13. 4mg Dilaudid

13. 4mg Dilaudidbryanlewissaunders

14. Morphine IV (Dosage Unknown)

14. Morphine IV (Dosage Unknown)bryanlewissaunders

"The drug series started in 2000 when I moved into an 11-story building with the intention of making a documentary on all of the interesting folks who lived there," Saunders explains."

However, a particularly trying era in the artist's life forced the series to be postponed when he moved in. One of his close friends perished in a fire, another attempted suicide but suffered brain damage and chronic confusion, and Saunders' lung collapsed while he was still in the hospital.

Also, this echoes the AITA debate over skipping the brother’s intervention for mental health.

15. Khat (Chew And Tea)

15. Khat (Chew And Tea)bryanlewissaunders

16. Huffing Lighter Fluid

16. Huffing Lighter Fluidbryanlewissaunders

17. Marijuana Resin

17. Marijuana Resinbryanlewissaunders

18. 10mg Ambien

18. 10mg Ambienbryanlewissaunders

19. Nitrous Oxide

19. Nitrous Oxidebryanlewissaunders

20. Ativan / Haloperidol (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)

20. Ativan / Haloperidol (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)bryanlewissaunders

21. 20mg Valium

21. 20mg Valiumbryanlewissaunders

22. LSD

Self-portrait with intense, drug-influenced expression after Ativan, haloperidol, and Valiumbryanlewissaunders

23. 1 "Bump" Of Crystalmeth

23. 1 "Bump" Of Crystalmethbryanlewissaunders

When Saunders returned from a hiking expedition, he accidentally became dehydrated, began hallucinating, and had a mental break during which he abandoned his companion at a monastery, believing he was attempting to poison him.

"I returned to Tennessee on the Greyhound, where I had an epiphany. I decided that not only would I sketch myself every day, but I would also try a new substance every day.After all, in the structure, there was one of everything... That's when I officially began working on the project."

Saunders' need to experience as many various things as possible was fueled by a combination of gloomy despair and simple access.

24. Huffing Gas (During And After)

24. Huffing Gas (During And After)bryanlewissaunders

25. 2 Bottles Of Cough Syrup

25. 2 Bottles Of Cough Syrupbryanlewissaunders

26. Carbon Monoxide Inhalation

26. Carbon Monoxide Inhalationbryanlewissaunders

27. DMT (During And After)

27. DMT (During And After)bryanlewissaunders

28. 1 sm Glass Of Absinth

28. 1 sm Glass Of Absinthbryanlewissaunders

29. PCP

Self-portrait with surreal, altered look after DMT, absinthe, Abilify, Xanax, and Ativanbryanlewissaunders

30. Abilify / Xanax / Ativan (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)

30. Abilify / Xanax / Ativan (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)bryanlewissaunders

He described the photographs as "excruciatingly upsetting and morbidly horrifying" when they initially went viral in January 2011. After that, Saunders received a lot of hate mail.

"Either they wanted the pleasure of putting me down like an animal, or they wanted to commit suicide themselves. Sleazy businesses also emerged from the woodwork," he says. "It's been so much kinder and friendlier this time."

A strange project, and an even stranger reaction.

Want another jolt of addiction recovery, read how Billy Idol used crack to beat heroin.

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