Selfish Husband Pushes for Unnecessary Move to Another City, Risking Wife's Flourishing Business for His Personal Satisfaction
To Move or Not to Move?
In sunny Los Angeles, a woman (OP) who loves making special wedding cakes is facing a significant choice.
For 22 years, she has been baking beautiful cakes for weddings and other major moments right in her hometown. She has built a successful business and has customers who are constantly looking forward to her unique cakes, such as exotic ganache and Black Forest cake, among others.
However, her husband wants to move to Boston. He believes it’s time for a change, especially since he can work from anywhere now, as some major companies allow.
But as a Los Angeleno who was born and raised there, she doesn’t want to leave the city. Moving means starting all over again with her cake business, and she’s unsure if she can or wants to do that.
Her husband thinks she’s not being open to new ideas, calling her names like Scrooge and Grinch. But for her, it’s not that simple. Her cake-making cannot be done remotely; she needs to be in her kitchen, near her customers.
She also has orders to fill very soon, including a special cake for an upcoming wedding in Long Beach. Additionally, her business doesn’t just serve LA; she has customers in cities like Phoenix and Dallas as well. Moving would mean leaving a significant part of her life and work behind.
She wonders if she’s wrong for wanting to stay in LA, where her business, friends, and life are. She’s questioning whether wanting to maintain her life and business as they are will make her an 'unreasonable' person.
Scroll down to find out the final verdict.
The Story in Detail
Reddit.comOP Has a Thriving Cake Business in LA That She’s Been Running for 22 Years
Reddit.comUnderstanding the Psychology of Selfishness
Dr. Emily Carter, a clinical psychologist, suggests that this behavior often stems from an inflated sense of entitlement, which can be rooted in early childhood experiences.
Her research indicates that individuals who feel entitled are often unaware of the impact their actions have on others, leading to significant relationship strain.
Moreover, studies show that when one partner prioritizes their desires over the needs of another, it can lead to resentment and emotional disconnection.
However, OP’s Husband Wants Them to Move to Boston to Get Out of the 'LA Bubble.' The Fact That He Can Work Remotely Makes It Easier for Him
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OP, on the Other Hand, Doesn’t Want to Move. Unfortunately, Her Husband Didn’t Take This Lightly and Even Accused Her of Being Close-Minded
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The concept of 'self-centeredness' can be better understood through the lens of social psychology, which posits that humans are inherently social creatures.
Our well-being is deeply interconnected, and when one partner’s needs overshadow the other’s, it disrupts this balance.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlights how a lack of empathy can lead to relationship breakdowns, emphasizing the need for mutual respect and understanding in partnerships.
OP Can’t Imagine Starting from Scratch After Amassing a Strong Clientele in LA
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While OP’s Husband Can Easily Work Remotely, Her Business Doesn’t Give Her the Freedom to Do That
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We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community:
OP’s Husband Doesn’t Mind Putting Her Business in Jeopardy Even Though His Job Doesn’t Require Him to Move to Boston
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'You could contact a business broker and sell your existing business, and that cash could be your startup funds for your new business in Boston.'
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The Importance of Communication
Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when faced with major decisions like relocating.
According to a study by the American Psychological Association, open dialogue helps partners express their needs and concerns, which can mitigate feelings of resentment.
Couples who engage in active listening and validate each other's feelings tend to develop stronger bonds and greater relationship satisfaction.
'NTB. This is a decision that should be made by both parties, and it is a significant one.'
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'How dare he call you selfish when you're the one who would have to give up a lifelong home and a career you spent years building.'
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Commenters overwhelmingly supported OP, highlighting the significant impact a move could have on her established business. They stressed that such a critical decision should be mutual, not dictated by one person.
One Redditor accused OP's husband of being selfish since he wasn't concerned about how the move would affect OP's business. Rather, he just wanted to move for his personal satisfaction.
We'd love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.
'NTA. It takes a LONG time to build up an established client list for a business like yours.'
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Psychological Analysis
This behavior reflects a common pattern of self-centeredness, where one partner's desires overshadow the emotional needs of the other.
From a clinical viewpoint, this often leads to a breakdown in trust and connection, making it vital for the couple to engage in open communication about their feelings and needs.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In summary, the dynamics of selfishness and entitlement in relationships can lead to significant emotional upheaval.
Understanding the psychological underpinnings of these behaviors is essential for fostering healthier communication and connection.
Ultimately, prioritizing empathy and mutual respect can facilitate more fulfilling partnerships.
Practical strategies for couples facing similar dilemmas include setting aside dedicated time for discussions about major life changes.
Using 'I' statements can help partners express their feelings without casting blame; for instance, 'I feel anxious about moving because I worry about my career' rather than 'You don’t care about my business.'
Incorporating these techniques can foster a healthier dialogue, encouraging both partners to voice their concerns while working towards a solution that respects both parties' needs.
