Reddit Reassures A 20-Year-Old She's Not Selfish For Moving Out After Taking Care Of Her 4 Younger Siblings For Years In Place Of Their Neglectful Mum
She was juggling her studies, part-time job, housekeeping, and child-rearing while their mother was busy partying.
No one should be forced to become a parent without their consent. Taking care of children and raising them is not a one-off responsibility that anyone should take lightly.
So what happens when a 20-year-old young adult is made to parent her four younger siblings? For context, OP's (original poster) siblings include a boy aged 9, a 5-year-old girl, a 3-year-old girl, and the youngest, a 3-month-old baby.
OP sheepishly admits that although she loves her mum, she's not a great parent. This sister, with a heart of gold, is essentially the single mother of all her siblings; she cooks for them, cleans the house, and manages all the other chores around their home.
The young woman turned to Reddit for advice because she recently decided to move out and share an apartment with a close friend. When she told her mum about her plans, she, of course, flipped.
OP wanted to move out badly and live her life as any 20-year-old would. When her mum called her selfish for choosing herself, OP was racked with guilt and began to doubt her choice.
Their mum told OP that she couldn't move because she needed her. OP is a selfish jerk if she moves since their mum can't cope without any help, and OP has far more important responsibilities beyond her own.
OP finally snapped and told her mum that she has been putting her responsibilities first for as long as she can remember.
She said it's not her responsibility to raise her siblings. Their mum thinks OP is entitled and spoiled for thinking this way.
The mum then told the children that OP was leaving them behind because she was only interested in herself, right before she sauntered off to another party, leaving the children upset for OP to console them the whole night.
Few_Blood1369You can read the infuriating story below:
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Reddit users wasted no time rallying behind OP and assuring her she wasn't a jerk for wanting to move out.
RedditDK2
OP doubts their mother will be able to cope without her, given that she wasn't a great parent even with a partner.
Few_Blood1369
OP has taken on a major responsibility that wasn't hers; no one can fault her for moving out after all these years.
Diesel-King
It's important for the children to know how to contact OP in case they go into foster care.
AdGroundbreaking4397
One commenter gave suggestions on how to prepare the siblings in case of emergencies and which adults they can trust.
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They were steering clear of the topic, and OP needed to know she wasn't the a**hole.
Incendio33
Taking care of four children (that young!!!) all by yourself sounds like too much for anyone.
CanadianinCornwall
If worse comes to worst, OP might end up being legally responsible for her siblings.
Few_Blood1369
Commenters think she should think twice about this choice.
orion591
But it's a complex situation that needs professional mediation.
According-Ad8525
When OP moves out, her 9-year-old brother will take on the mantle of raising their siblings.
nursesarahrn78
They think the mum will try everything in her power to jeopardize OP's plans.
rpsls
Where is the dad of these kids?
Corfiz74
Apparently, OP and her siblings do not have the same father.
RedditDK2
There's no reason for OP's dad to take care of children that are not his.
Few_Blood1369
To be honest, she's probably the only parent these kids know.
RedditDK2
The kids might even have different fathers, and OP has no clue where to find them.
Few_Blood1369
Do not fall for the guilt trip, OP.
Pineapple_Mango_13
If you don't want to raise children, then don't have any!
ComprehensiveState11
It's too late for regrets because the baby is already here.
Few_Blood1369
Just based on the story, the mother is in no way, shape, or form a responsible adult.
ComprehensiveState11
Project much?
GilmourD
OP is stretched to the thinnest.
Few_Blood1369
There is no doubt that the children will have a difficult time once OP moves out, but she is doing nothing wrong by choosing herself. It's now time for their mum to step up, but we highly doubt she will.
The responsibility will most likely transfer to OP's 9-year-old brother if their mum continues her carefree lifestyle. For the nth time, if you can't raise children responsibly, then don't have any!
