Setting Boundaries: Why I Stopped Being My Friends Free Babysitter

AITA for setting boundaries with a friend who constantly asks me to babysit and pet sit for free, questioning if I was too harsh in my decision?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
11 Oct 2025

Setting Boundaries: Why I Stopped Being My Friends Free Babysitter

Are you ever stuck in a situation where being nice has led to being taken advantage of? One Reddit user found themselves in a predicament with a friend who started off innocently asking for small favors but quickly escalated to expecting free childcare and pet sitting regularly.

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The user felt overwhelmed and reached a breaking point when the friend once again asked for babysitting as they were heading out for a meal together. Setting boundaries became necessary as the user realized they were being used as a free solution to their friend's problems.

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The comments section was flooded with support for the user, with many echoing the sentiment that boundaries were essential in this situation. Some users shared similar experiences with friends who constantly leaned on them for favors until they had to put their foot down.

The consensus leaned heavily towards the user not being in the wrong for wanting to establish clear boundaries and stop being taken advantage of. Advice ranged from saying no to everything for a period to see the friend's true intentions, to reminding the friend that consistent childcare is not the same as occasional babysitting.

Overall, the thread sparked a discussion on setting boundaries, recognizing when one is being used, and the importance of self-care in friendships.

Original Post

I made friends with another mom who as soon as she met me she started asking me for favours. I wanted to be nice so when she asked me one day to babysit for her because she needed to go to work I said yes!

Also said yes to pet sit when she went on holiday. I regret the fact I let her cross this boundary because now she thinks I am her official free babysitter and pet sitter.

Not that she wouldn’t do it for me but I would never be this invasive and expect her to be the free solution for my problems. She keeps telling me things like if I don’t help her she won’t have money and how difficult everything is and so on.

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She survived before meeting me! But of course if you can get someone to do what you don’t want to do and they will do it for free….

Why wouldn’t you take advantage of them…right!? She asked if I wanted to go out with her for a meal and I said yes.

As soon as we started driving she asked me to babysit AGAIN! Because she needs to go to work.

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She refuses to work in the mornings while her kids are at school. I had enough today and sent her a message saying that from now on I wouldn’t help her with babysitting anymore and that she should find a solution for her problem.

I said that I have kids and also can’t do things when I want. I feel bad but at the same time she asks me for all kind of favours all the time.

I am thinking about saying no for everything from now on, also when it comes to her pets. Should I just set this boundary that I won’t help her with anything unless is an emergency?

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Was I too harsh? I don’t mind helping a friend when it’s an emergency but this is too much.

Thank you.