Should I Apply for a Job at My Boyfriends Workplace?

AITA for wanting to apply to my boyfriend's workplace despite his objections due to stressful culture and past coworker relationships?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
26 Dec 2025

Should I Apply for a Job at My Boyfriends Workplace?

In this intriguing Reddit thread, a young woman finds herself at a crossroads as she navigates her relationship and financial stability. After recently completing her graduate school admissions test, she is eager to reenter the workforce.

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However, her boyfriend's (28) objections to her applying for a job at his workplace have sparked a debate about boundaries, financial independence, and the dynamics of work-life balance in relationships. The girlfriend, who has been with her partner for 2 years, faces dwindling savings and a pressing need for income.

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Despite her willingness to maintain professional boundaries and avoid any preferential treatment, her boyfriend expresses strong reservations about her working at his company. He cites the workplace culture as stressful and toxic, and he wants to keep home and work life separate, especially after dating coworkers in the past.

As the conversation unfolds in the comments, users weigh in on both sides of the argument, presenting considerations about the potential challenges of working alongside a partner. The thread raises essential questions about the importance of financial independence versus the complexities that can arise when personal and professional lives intertwine.

Join the discussion to share your thoughts and experiences on this modern dilemma!

Original Post

Hey everyone, Obligatory sorry for throwaway account/mobile format. I've (f23) been seeing my bf (m29) for about 2 years now.

I had a job, quit to study for my graduate school admissions test, but now I'm finished with the exam and am waiting to hear back on applications so I want to work again. I've applied to a lot of places in my field, had some interviews, and I'm going to continue applying.

However, it's been 3 months and my savings are starting to get low. My bf's workplace pays well and is desperate for employees.

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It's not my ideal place to work, but I'm a hard worker so I know I can at least help them with some of the workload and make some money while doing it. I've told my bf he doesn't need to give me a referral or even acknowledge that I'm his gf to avoid getting any alternative treatment.

He says he still doesn't want me to apply because: 1) The culture is stressful/toxic 2) He's dated coworkers before (they no longer work there) and he prefers that he keeps his home/work life separate. I understand, but I've told him I'll steer clear so he can have his him time without me interfering and I will just work.

Not to mention he's burnt out and wants to go on vacation with all the bells and whistles (I want to as well, but the money is starting to stress me out). I would even work food service for the time being, but he doesn't want me to do that either because he works a typical 9-5, M-F, and serving is normally an afternoon and weekend gig, so we wouldn't get to see each other that much.

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It's bothering me, but this isn’t a huge argument between us by any means. AITA for wanting to apply at my bf's workplace?