Should I Apply for a Job at My Boyfriends Workplace?

OP is three months into the brutal waiting game, watching her savings shrink while her boyfriend’s workplace keeps begging for employees. And yes, the job would pay well. No, it would not be her dream career move.

Here’s the messy part: she’s (f23) trying to get back to work after quitting to study for graduate admissions, and her field applications are still in limbo. Meanwhile, her boyfriend (m29) says he’d rather keep work and home separate because he’s dated coworkers before, and the culture is stressful and toxic. He even offered a compromise in spirit, but not in practice.

What makes it so hard to ignore is that she’s not asking for special treatment, she’s asking for a paycheck that would buy her breathing room.

Original Post

Hey everyone,

Obligatory sorry for throwaway account/mobile format. I've (f23) been seeing my bf (m29) for about 2 years now.

I had a job, quit to study for my graduate school admissions test, but now I'm finished with the exam and am waiting to hear back on applications so I want to work again. I've applied to a lot of places in my field, had some interviews, and I'm going to continue applying.

However, it's been 3 months and my savings are starting to get low. My bf's workplace pays well and is desperate for employees.

It's not my ideal place to work, but I'm a hard worker so I know I can at least help them with some of the workload and make some money while doing it. I've told my bf he doesn't need to give me a referral or even acknowledge that I'm his gf to avoid getting any alternative treatment.

He says he still doesn't want me to apply because:

1) The culture is stressful/toxic

2) He's dated coworkers before (they no longer work there) and he prefers that he keeps his home/work life separate.

Not to mention he's burnt out and wants to go on vacation with all the bells and whistles (I want to as well, but the money is starting to stress me out). I would even work food service for the time being, but he doesn't want me to do that either because he works a typical 9-5, M-F, and serving is normally an afternoon and weekend gig, so we wouldn't get to see each other that much.

It's bothering me, but this isn’t a huge argument between us by any means. AITA for wanting to apply at my bf's workplace?

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This reminds me of the AITA fight over a poster keeping inheritance from their mom after a dad’s will.

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OP has been applying for jobs for three months, but her savings are running low fast, and her boyfriend’s workplace is the one place that would hire her immediately.

She tries to soften the blow by telling him he doesn’t need to give a referral or even acknowledge she’s his girlfriend, so she can avoid any “alternative treatment” at work.

He pushes back anyway, citing the toxic, stressful culture, plus the fact he’s already dated coworkers there and doesn’t want that history dragging into his day-to-day.

Even her backup plan gets shut down, because he won’t want her doing food service either, since it would cut into the only time they can actually see each other.</p>

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

She’s stuck choosing between financial stress and a boyfriend who wants her close, but not employed where he works.

If inheritance can spark family fallout, read what happened when this poster’s aunts claimed the will.