Should I Ask Partner to Rehome Snake for New Cats Safety?

A new kitten, a locked terrarium, and one very real panic moment, that is how this relationship debate started for a 33-year-old woman and her partner’s pet snake. She was over the moon adopting Luna, the sweet kitten who was supposed to bring joy to their home.

But her boyfriend, 35, already had Monty, a snake he’s kept for years in his study. The snake never left its terrarium, yet her fear of reptiles is so intense she cannot even be in the same room. Then Luna slipped out while he was handling Monty, and she watched her anxiety spike instantly, even though nothing ended up happening.

Now she wants Monty rehomed, and her partner is torn between his attachment and their new cat safety plan.

Original Post

So I'm (33F) currently in a relationship with my partner (35M) for two years, and we recently decided to adopt a cute kitten named Luna. I've always adored cats and was thrilled to bring her home.

However, my partner has a pet snake, Monty, that they've had for years. I have a significant fear of snakes that makes me uncomfortable even being in the same room as Monty.

For background, Monty is securely kept in a terrarium in my partner's study, but the idea of a snake in the house still gives me anxiety. Recently, while my partner was handling Monty in their study, Luna snuck in out of curiosity, and I panicked, fearing for Luna's safety.

Thankfully, nothing happened, but it made me realize how anxious I am about having a snake in the house, especially with Luna around. I discussed my concerns with my partner, explaining my fear and how it affects me.

I proposed the idea of rehoming Monty to ensure Luna's safety and to ease my anxiety. I suggested finding a new loving home for Monty, where he can thrive without causing me distress.

My partner was taken aback by my request, feeling torn between their attachment to Monty and our new family dynamic.

They mentioned keeping them separate and ensuring Luna's safety, but my fear persists. So, Reddit, Am I The A*****e for asking my partner to rehome their pet snake to prioritize our new cat's safety and my fear of reptiles?

I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting or if my request is valid. Your perspectives would really help me.

Comment from u/JazzyDuckling74

NTA. Your fear is valid, and safety should come first, especially with a new pet involved. Your partner needs to understand and compromise for everyone's well-being.

The second Luna wandered into the study while Monty was being handled, the OP’s fear stopped being theoretical and became a full-on “what if” moment.

Comment from u/MelodicPenguin99

I get your fear, but maybe consider working on it together with your partner. Rehoming Monty could strain your relationship. Find a middle ground for both your comfort levels.

Comment from u/SunnyButterfly22

YTA. Asking someone to give up their long-time pet due to your fear is a bit selfish. Work on finding solutions like separate spaces for the pets or counseling to cope with your phobia.

After that scare, she brought up the rehoming idea to her partner, even though he was already emotionally attached to Monty.

Comment from u/CozySquirrel123

NAH. It's a tough situation with valid concerns on both sides. Open communication and compromise are key here. Try to find a solution that respects each other's feelings and needs.

It’s also like the standoff over whether the partner’s snake, Monty, should sleep in their bed.

Comment from u/SparklyMoonbeam

Info: Have you considered professional help for your fear of snakes? It could benefit your relationship and your well-being in the long run.

Comment from u/GigglyPanda56

YTA. Pets are family too. Maybe seek therapy to work on your phobia, but asking to rehome Monty seems extreme. Find ways to coexist peacefully for all beings involved.

He promised separation and extra caution, but she still can’t shake the anxiety that comes with knowing the snake is in the house at all.

Comment from u/DancingTiger17

NAH. It's understandable to have fears, but it's also understandable not to want to part with a beloved pet. Look for compromise and maybe seek therapy to address your phobia.

Comment from u/LaughingFox99

NTA. Your feelings matter, and your fear is genuine. It's crucial to create a safe environment for everyone in the household, including you. Your partner should consider your well-being.

So now the couple’s new family dynamic is colliding with Monty’s place in the home, and Reddit is watching to see who’s the villain here.

Comment from u/SleepyDragon777

YTA. Asking your partner to give up their pet is a bit harsh. Try to find ways to manage your fear or seek professional help. Pets are a big part of someone's life too.

Comment from u/WhimsicalStarlight

NAH. Fear is valid, but so is attachment to a pet. Find ways to compromise and ensure the safety and well-being of all animals involved. Don't rush into decisions. Communication is key.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

Nobody’s wrong for loving their pets, but the Luna panic made this decision way more serious than either of them expected.

Before you decide, read what happened when a 33F asked her partner to replace his pet snake with a cat.