Should I Attend My Cousins Wedding After She Started Dating My Ex?

A 28-year-old woman refused to attend her cousin’s wedding after her cousin started dating her college ex, and it’s somehow gotten even messier than you’d expect. For years, she and Sarah were the kind of close where secrets were shared without hesitation, and tough moments were handled together. So when Sarah began dating Alex, her first serious boyfriend, it didn’t just sting, it felt like a betrayal with a front-row seat.

Here’s the twist: Alex wasn’t some random ex. He was the relationship that shaped her early adulthood, the one that ended, but never in a way she imagined would circle back into someone else’s future. Now Sarah is marrying Alex in a few months, and she sent OP a wedding invitation like nothing happened. OP is stuck between loyalty to Sarah and the raw, personal hurt of seeing her ex walk down the aisle with her cousin.

Now the family is basically holding its breath, waiting to see if OP’s refusal blows up everything or finally forces honesty.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and my cousin Sarah (26F) have always been close. We've shared secrets, gone through tough times, and generally been each other's rock.

However, Sarah recently started dating my ex-boyfriend from college, Alex. This was a shock to me, as I never expected this from either of them.

For background, Alex was my first serious relationship, and while it didn't work out between us, I never imagined he and Sarah would end up together. I felt betrayed, hurt, and confused by their actions.

Fast forward to now, Sarah is getting married to Alex in a few months, and she's sent me a wedding invitation. I was taken aback by the audacity of this move.

I can't fathom attending a wedding where my cousin is marrying my ex. I'm torn between my loyalty to Sarah, whom I've always been there for, and my own feelings of betrayal and hurt by her relationship with my ex.

So AITA for refusing to attend my cousin's wedding due to her dating my ex-boyfriend and now marrying him?

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This is similar to the AITA post about skipping a cousin’s wedding after the relationship revelation.

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Sarah and OP have been each other’s rock for years, so the moment Alex shows up as her boyfriend feels like someone swapped the rules mid-story.

When OP learns Sarah is not only dating Alex, but marrying him, that “shock” turns into full-on betrayal, right on the wedding invite.

The part that really sharpens the knife is that OP is expected to show up anyway, smiling through the exact couple that hurt her.

With months until the wedding, OP’s decision is basically a countdown to either family peace or a blowup at the next gathering.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

OP might not attend the wedding, but she’s definitely not going to pretend this love story didn’t break her first.

Before you decide, read about uninviting a cousin after she started dating the poster’s ex.