Should I Attend My Friends Baby Shower After Being Excluded from Her Wedding? | AITA

A 29-year-old woman is stuck in the kind of friendship drama that feels petty until it lands on something huge: her friend’s wedding, and then her friend’s baby shower. She and Sarah have been close for years, but that closeness suddenly turns cold the moment Sarah gets engaged, and the next year brings even more awkwardness.

Sarah didn’t invite her to the wedding, and while OP tried to shrug it off, the distance kept growing. Then OP announced her pregnancy, and Sarah acted distant again. Now the baby shower invites go out, and OP finds out through mutual friends that her invite somehow never arrived, leaving her feeling like she’s being pushed out of the very life moment she’s sharing.

So the question is not just “should I go,” it’s whether showing up would make her feel like the side character in Sarah’s big day.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) in a tight spot with my friend, let's call her Sarah (30F). We've been close for years, sharing all life's ups and downs.

When Sarah got engaged, she didn't invite me to her wedding. I was hurt but tried to understand her reasons.

Fast forward a year, and I'm now expecting. When I announced my pregnancy, Sarah seemed distant and didn't share my excitement.

Recently, she sent out invites to her baby shower, but mine must have gotten 'lost.' I found out through mutual friends and felt excluded. Now I'm torn - should I attend her celebration after feeling snubbed at such a significant event in her life?

I value our friendship, but it feels one-sided lately. So, AITA?

friendships often go through phases influenced by life events like weddings and baby showers. These events can trigger feelings of exclusion or envy, especially if one feels sidelined during a significant transition.

Comment from u/coffeelover42

Comment from u/gamer_gal2000

Comment from u/doughnut_master

Sarah missing OP’s wedding invite is the first gut punch, and it sets the tone for everything that follows.

For instance, reaching out to the friend and discussing the feelings around exclusion can pave the way for deeper conversations about the friendship's trajectory. Therapists recommend approaching these discussions with empathy, framing them as opportunities for growth rather than conflict.

Comment from u/sunset_stream_7

Comment from u/starrynight49

Comment from u/marshmallow_dreamer

When OP announces her pregnancy and Sarah goes quiet, the baby shower invite situation starts to feel less like an accident and more like a pattern.

And this reminds me of the sister who asked for a luxury European 50th birthday trip, then the $15,000 price hit.

emotional turbulence in relationships can be managed through the practice of active listening.

Comment from u/moonchild_33

Comment from u/coffeeandconfusion

Comment from u/sparkle_soul_22

Learning about the baby shower from mutual friends, not Sarah, turns “maybe it got lost” into “I’m being excluded again.”

Future situations could benefit from clearer communication and boundary-setting.

Comment from u/rainbowdreamer_88

Now OP has to decide whether walking into Sarah’s celebration will heal the friendship or confirm it’s already one-sided.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

In the realm of complex friendships, particularly during significant life events like weddings and baby showers, communication emerges as a cornerstone. The situation surrounding the woman’s decision about attending Sarah's baby shower illustrates the emotional weight that exclusion can carry. Expressing feelings about her wedding exclusion is crucial for her to navigate this friendship effectively. By fostering open dialogue, the friends can work through their differing perspectives and address the evolving dynamics of their relationship. Ultimately, the decision to attend the baby shower transcends mere participation in an event; it is about cultivating an environment where both individuals feel valued and included, which is essential for the longevity of their friendship.

This situation highlights a common dynamic in friendships where significant life events can trigger feelings of exclusion and resentment. The original poster's hurt feelings likely stem from a perceived lack of support and validation, which is crucial in maintaining strong connections. Open communication about these emotions could help both friends navigate their changing relationship and foster a deeper understanding of each other's experiences.

OP might attend the shower and still feel like the one person Sarah didn’t actually want there.

If you need a break from Sarah’s baby shower mix-up, check out the hidden jokes in famous old paintings.