Should I Exclude Dad from Family Vacation for Insisting on Cross-Country Drive?

Family vacations are supposed to be the rare, shiny moment when everyone shows up, unbothered, and ready to eat beach snacks like it’s a sport. Instead, this one started turning into a logistical nightmare the second OP’s dad decided he was not flying, not even a little.

OP, 32M, has been planning a beach trip for months with flights and a rental car already lined up. The plan is simple, everyone else, including mom and siblings, is flying in to save time and avoid the stress. Then dad, 60M, hears the plan and announces he’ll drive a full 20-hour cross-country route, “make a road trip out of it” style, and expects everyone’s schedule and rentals to bend around him.

Now OP is stuck trying to decide if excluding dad is the move, or if it’s going to blow up the whole family before they even hit the sand.

Original Post

So I'm (32M), and my family has been planning a beach vacation for months, involving flights and a rental car. It's a rare occasion for us to all be together due to work and distance.

Quick context: my dad (60M) is a stubborn guy who hates flying and insists on driving everywhere, no matter how far. He lives a state away from us.

He found out about our plans and announced that he'd be driving to meet us at the vacation spot. This is a 20-hour drive, and he expects to 'make a road trip out of it.' Everyone else, including my mom and siblings, are flying in to avoid the stress and save time.

My dad's adamant about his plan, saying he loves road trips and wants the 'freedom of driving.' However, this puts a strain on our rental car arrangements, accommodations, and overall schedule. We're worried he'll be tired and not enjoy the first few days.

I've tried talking to him, suggesting he flies or meets us there later, but he's convinced he's right. So, WIBTA for suggesting he flies in like the rest of us and avoiding the drama?

The Generational Divide

This family vacation dilemma highlights a classic generational clash. The father, at 60, may be set in his ways, viewing the cross-country drive as an adventure rather than a chore. In contrast, the younger family members, including the 32-year-old OP, prioritize convenience and comfort, especially in a post-pandemic world where air travel seems less daunting. This difference in perspective underscores a broader tension: older generations often value experiences born from endurance, while younger ones lean toward efficiency.

Reddit's community reaction reflects this divide, with some siding with the father’s nostalgic approach and others advocating for a more modern, hassle-free travel style. The crux of the conflict isn't just about a road trip versus a flight; it's about clashing values and expectations within the family unit.

Comment from u/CoffeeAddict1990

Comment from u/beachlover-23

Comment from u/TravelBug99

Dad’s 20-hour “road trip out of it” plan immediately collides with the rental car and lodging schedule OP’s been coordinating for months.

OP’s mom and siblings are flying in to avoid stress, while dad shows up with a stubborn, freedom-of-driving mindset that won’t budge.

This is similar to the AITA post about excluding parents who disregarded the vacation plans.

Why Exclusion Feels So Heavy

The notion of potentially excluding the father from the trip creates a heavy moral quandary. It’s not just about logistics; it speaks to family dynamics and the weight of individual desires. The OP's fear of excluding his dad hints at deeper issues of respect and love intertwined with frustration. This conflict is common in family settings, where one person's insistence can overshadow the collective wishes of the group.

What makes this situation even murkier is the emotional fallout of such a decision. If the OP chooses to leave dad behind, how does that impact their relationship? Reddit users empathize with the OP's dilemma, revealing how personal travel decisions often reflect larger familial tensions. It’s a reminder that family vacations come with their own set of emotional baggage.

Comment from u/SunsetDreamer777

Comment from u/VacayVibes88

Every time OP suggests dad meet them later or just fly like the rest of the family, dad doubles down instead of compromising.

The real question lands at the family’s dinner-table level, should OP avoid the drama by excluding dad, or risk him being exhausted and ruining the first days?

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

Final Thoughts

This story resonates deeply because it touches on the complexities of family relationships and how differing perspectives can lead to conflict. The OP’s struggle to balance respect for his father with the desire for a smooth trip highlights the emotional weight of family decisions. Readers are left to ponder: how do we navigate the fine line between honoring tradition and adapting to modern expectations? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation where a family member's insistence threatened to derail your plans?

The Bigger Picture

This family's vacation dilemma reveals a classic clash of values between generations.

If dad wants a road trip, OP may need to protect the vacation schedule he already planned.

Want another tough call like the sibling who bailed last minute, see whether to exclude a sibling after they ditched the family trip.