Should I Exclude My Competitive Sister from My Babys Birth?

A 28-year-old woman refused to let her competitive sister, Sarah, into her baby’s birth, and honestly, the internet is already split. This is the kind of family situation where one wrong look can turn into a full-blown courtroom drama at Thanksgiving, except the stakes are labor and delivery.

OP and Sarah used to be inseparable, even planning their pregnancies close together. Then Sarah started undermining everything, from the baby registry to parenting choices and even pushing back on the doctor’s advice. The final blow? A fit at a family gathering where Sarah insisted her baby shower should happen before OP’s, even though OP’s due date came first, and their parents had to step in.

Now Sarah is reaching out again, hinting she wants to be in the delivery room, and OP is stuck wondering if this time will be different or just louder.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) currently pregnant with my first child, and the due date is approaching. My sister, let's call her Sarah (30F), and I used to be extremely close.

We shared everything and always dreamed of starting families around the same time. However, a few months ago, things took a drastic turn.

For background, Sarah has always been competitive. When she found out I was pregnant, she seemed happy but gradually started undermining my decisions.

She criticized my baby registry, parenting choices, and even my doctor's advice. It became exhausting.

The breaking point was when she threw a fit at a family gathering, insisting her baby shower should come before mine, even though my due date was earlier. It caused a big argument, and our parents had to intervene.

I was hurt and distanced myself from her after that. Now, with the baby's arrival imminent, Sarah has been reaching out, wanting to be involved in the birth experience.

She's been hinting at attending the birth and being in the delivery room. However, I feel uncomfortable having her there after what happened.

I'm afraid her competitive nature and need for attention might overshadow the special moment. I've been considering telling her she can't be present during the birth, but I know it'll cause drama within the family.

Sarah will likely play the victim and turn everyone against me. So, WIBTA for refusing to let my sister attend my baby's birth because she caused a major family rift?

I honestly don't know what the right choice is here. Really need outside perspective.

The Weight of Family Drama

This expectant mother’s dilemma really shines a light on the complexities of family relationships. Excluding her sister from such a monumental moment is no small decision, especially considering the history of competition and drama between them. It’s not just about the birth; it’s about years of rivalry that have simmered over time, creating a rift that’s hard to ignore.

Readers are likely resonating with this struggle because we all have that one family member who stirs up tension. The stakes are high, and the emotional weight is heavy. How do you balance a momentous occasion with a complicated family dynamic? This isn’t just about personal choice; it’s about setting a precedent for future interactions.

When Sarah threw that fit at the family gathering about her shower beating OP’s due date, it didn’t just create tension, it blew up the whole family dynamic.

Comment from u/potatoqueen36

NTA - Your sister's behavior was completely out of line. This is your special moment, and you have every right to decide who is there to support you. Family rift or not, prioritize your comfort and peace during this critical time.

Comment from u/coffeeaddict_27

NTA - Your sister needs to understand boundaries. Bringing drama into the delivery room would only add unnecessary stress to an already intense situation. Your baby's birth should be about joy and love, not tension.

Comment from u/gameover9000

NTA - Your sister's previous actions show a lack of respect for your choices and boundaries.

OP has been distancing herself ever since, but Sarah’s recent “I want to be involved in the birth” hints feel way too similar to the undermining phase.

Comment from u/throwaway_unicorn

NTA - Your sister's behavior is concerning, especially considering the competitiveness and drama she brings. Labor and delivery are already emotionally charged, and having her presence could escalate tensions. Your decision to prioritize your comfort is valid.

Comment from u/stargazer23

NTA - Your sister's behavior leading up to this moment has shown a lack of consideration for your feelings and boundaries. It's essential to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being during such a significant event. Your sister needs to respect your decision.

This situation echoes the fallout where someone weighed skipping their pregnant sister Sarah’s baby shower after work-commitment drama: should I attend my pregnant sister’s baby shower after a fallout.

Comment from u/gamer_girl_97

NTA - Your sister's past actions have shown a pattern of disrespect and insensitivity.

The scariest part for OP is that Sarah’s attention-seeking energy could hijack the moment, especially if everyone is still emotionally raw from the argument their parents had to stop.

Comment from u/bookworm_1984

NTA - Your sister's behavior leading up to this moment has shown a lack of understanding and support.

Comment from u/pizzalover22

NTA - Your sister's past actions have demonstrated a lack of consideration and maturity.

Comment from u/musicjunkie_89

NTA - Your sister's behavior has been disruptive and disrespectful. Labor and delivery are intimate moments that should focus on your needs and comfort. Your decision to exclude her from the birth is understandable given the circumstances.

If OP says “no” to the delivery room, Sarah will probably play victim and try to rally the same people who already intervened once.

Comment from u/theatregeek21

NTA - Your sister's behavior has been intrusive and competitive.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

The Community's Divided Opinions

The responses to this situation are fascinating, reflecting the diverse perspectives on family loyalty and boundaries.

The Bottom Line

This story encapsulates the intricate web of family relationships, showing how one moment can trigger a flood of emotions and past grievances. The OP’s choice isn’t just about her sister's presence; it raises questions about what family means in moments of vulnerability. As readers reflect on their own family dynamics, it begs the question: how do you navigate the fine line between protecting your peace and maintaining family ties?

OP can’t control Sarah’s behavior, but she can control who gets to witness the birth.

Want another pregnancy-family clash, read about the doula sister-in-law advice drama here: declining pregnancy advice from a renowned sister-in-law doula.