Should I Feel Guilty? Letting Shelter Dogs Stay Over

OP has become the kind of person shelters secretly love, the volunteer who turns “just one dog walk” into a full-on routine. For two years, she’s been grabbing a dog for a “doggy day out,” feeding them, taking them on long walks, and bringing them home for snuggles.

So when she bonded with an 8-year-old lab mix named S, she asked to keep him for a few nights, and the shelter plus her mom said yes. OP even prepared everything, harness, leash, food, and a blanket that’s basically a welcome mat. Then her exchange student, K, dropped a different take: taking dogs outside the shelter gives them trauma, and she’s been arguing about it, including snapping at OP for doing the exact things dogs need.

Now OP is stuck crying over whether she’s helping S, or accidentally hurting him, and everyone’s opinions are colliding at her house.

Original Post

Hey everyone! I (20F) am a current undergraduate and have been volunteering at the local animal shelter for the past two years.

Whenever I get a day off, I go to the shelter to take a dog for a "doggy day out." The dogs get a long walk, some Chick-fil-A, and snuggles at my house.

My mother has known I have been volunteering at the shelter since I turned 18. Recently, I connected with an 8-year-old lab mix (S) and have fallen in love with him.

I genuinely want to adopt him. I have requested to keep S at my house for a few days, and the shelter (plus my mother) approved.

I got food, a harness, a leash, and his own little blanket. Today, our exchange student (26F - now referred to as K) told me that she thinks bringing the dogs outside of the shelter gives them trauma and is bad for the dog.

My family already has a dog that is a 10-year-old Maltese. I don't really care for it anymore since I started university.

Also, K loves him so much, and she takes care of him and gets angry if I do something "wrong" with him (like taking him for a walk) because she would rather do it. K and I have had verbal altercations in the past, and we don't like each other very much.

K also told me that she discussed with my mother how she thinks it's a bad idea, but I believe my mother disagreed with K (confirmed: my mother did tell K that she disagreed with her opinions and told her it's good for me). I think K may have a point about creating more trauma for dogs.

K's comments made me cry because I love and care for dogs. My logic is that it is good for the dogs to go outside, experience longer walks, and receive the love that someone can give them.

I've never seen it as being negative. Maybe it is?

I don't know. I would like to clarify that I am not a pre-vet major, just a very logical STEM major.

So any advice would really help. I don't want to give S (or any other dog) any more trauma than he's probably endured.

So... AITA for having a shelter dog sleep over at my house for a few nights? Edit: extra clarification added!

The Emotional Benefits of Pet Interaction

Research indicates that interacting with pets can have significant psychological benefits, including reducing stress and anxiety.

Comment from u/Leshunen

Comment from u/WAndTheBoys

OP’s “doggy day out” setup is already in motion, but K’s first objection hits right when S is about to sleep over.

It's essential to consider the emotional health of the shelter dogs involved. From a psychological standpoint, creating a nurturing space for these animals can significantly aid in their emotional development and adjustment post-shelter.

Furthermore, this interaction can potentially lead to positive behavioral changes in the dogs, making them more appealing to future adopters. This presents a win-win situation for both the dogs and the individuals fostering them.

Comment from u/FaelingJester

Comment from u/the_scar_when_you_go

Feelings of guilt can often arise in circumstances like this, especially when outside opinions challenge personal beliefs.

Comment from u/FairyFartDaydreams

Comment from u/shattered7done1

That’s when K starts pushing her theory to OP’s mom, and OP has to watch her own plan get questioned in real time.

This is the same kind of tension as the family choosing home repairs over funding a sister’s dream trip.

Pet fostering can also enhance emotional resilience in individuals.

Comment from u/ButItSaysOnline

Comment from u/IcePrincess_Not_Sk8r

Meanwhile, K and OP have a history of verbal altercations, so every comment about S feels less like concern and more like a power struggle.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

Comment from u/Vast_Self1149

Comment from u/Professional-Scar628

Comment from u/No-Chemical-9368

Comment from u/blizzardlizard666

With S already approved for a few nights and OP stocked up on all the basics, the guilt question lands hard, especially with a 10-year-old Maltese in the house too.

Practical Recommendations for Future Fostering

Engaging in open conversations with family members or friends about the emotional benefits and responsibilities involved can foster a supportive environment.

Additionally, considering a trial period for fostering can also help both the individual and the dogs assess compatibility without long-term commitment. This approach can alleviate feelings of guilt associated with the decision, as it allows for flexibility based on the experiences of both parties.

Comment from u/hashbazz

Comment from u/Catracas

The act of letting shelter dogs stay over for a "doggy day out" can significantly enhance the emotional well-being of both the dogs and their temporary guardians. The author's experiences of taking dogs for long walks and sharing treats like Chick-fil-A illustrate the joy these moments bring. This practice not only fosters a bond between the volunteers and the dogs but also enriches the dogs' social skills, making them more adoptable.

Embracing the role of a temporary guardian is more than just a feel-good activity. It is a meaningful contribution to the welfare of these animals, allowing them to experience love and comfort outside the shelter environment. Addressing any feelings of guilt about this arrangement can be an essential part of the experience, as open dialogue and self-reflection can help volunteers recognize the positive impact they are making.

OP’s just trying to love S the right way, but now she’s wondering if the “snuggles” are the part that’s actually making everything worse.

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