Should I Feel Guilty? Letting Shelter Dogs Stay Over

Hey everyone! I (20F) am a current undergraduate who has been volunteering at the local animal shelter for the past two years.

Whenever I get a day off, I go to the shelter to take a dog for a "doggy day out." The dogs get a long walk, some Chick-fil-A, and snuggles at my house.

My mother has been aware of my shelter volunteer work since I turned 18. Recently, I connected with an 8-year-old lab mix (S) and developed a strong bond with him.

I am considering adopting him and have requested to keep S at my house for a few days, which the shelter and my mother have approved. I have prepared everything he needs, including food, a harness, a leash, and his own little blanket.

However, an exchange student living with us, referred to as K, expressed concerns that taking the dogs out of the shelter environment may cause them trauma. She even discussed this with my mother, but my mother supported my decision.

K's comments made me question whether what I am doing is right. I want to ensure I am not causing any harm to the dogs, including S, who may have already endured trauma.

Despite K's opinions, I believe that offering the dogs time outside, longer walks, and affection is beneficial for them. I am open to advice as I want to make the best decision for S and any other dogs I may bring home.

So... AITA for having a shelter dog sleep over at my house for a few nights?

Original Post

Hey everyone! I (20F) am a current undergraduate and have been volunteering at the local animal shelter for the past two years.

Whenever I get a day off, I go to the shelter to take a dog for a "doggy day out." The dogs get a long walk, some Chick-fil-A, and snuggles at my house.

My mother has known I have been volunteering at the shelter since I turned 18. Recently, I connected with an 8-year-old lab mix (S) and have fallen in love with him.

I genuinely want to adopt him. I have requested to keep S at my house for a few days, and the shelter (plus my mother) approved.

I got food, a harness, a leash, and his own little blanket. Today, our exchange student (26F - now referred to as K) told me that she thinks bringing the dogs outside of the shelter gives them trauma and is bad for the dog.

My family already has a dog that is a 10-year-old Maltese. I don't really care for it anymore since I started university.

Also, K loves him so much, and she takes care of him and gets angry if I do something "wrong" with him (like taking him for a walk) because she would rather do it. K and I have had verbal altercations in the past, and we don't like each other very much.

K also told me that she discussed with my mother how she thinks it's a bad idea, but I believe my mother disagreed with K (confirmed: my mother did tell K that she disagreed with her opinions and told her it's good for me). I think K may have a point about creating more trauma for dogs.

K's comments made me cry because I love and care for dogs. My logic is that it is good for the dogs to go outside, experience longer walks, and receive the love that someone can give them.

I've never seen it as being negative. Maybe it is?

I don't know. I would like to clarify that I am not a pre-vet major, just a very logical STEM major.

So any advice would really help. I don't want to give S (or any other dog) any more trauma than he's probably endured.

So... AITA for having a shelter dog sleep over at my house for a few nights? Edit: extra clarification added!

The Emotional Benefits of Pet Interaction

Research indicates that interacting with pets can have significant psychological benefits, including reducing stress and anxiety. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlights how pet ownership can enhance feelings of social support and improve overall well-being.

Moreover, for shelter dogs, temporary placements can provide them with much-needed socialization and exposure to home environments, which are crucial for their adaptability and potential for adoption. Thus, allowing shelter dogs to stay over could be seen as a compassionate act that benefits both the animal and the host.

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It's essential to consider the emotional health of the shelter dogs involved. Studies show that dogs thrive in environments where they receive consistent social interaction, love, and care. From a psychological standpoint, creating a nurturing space for these animals can significantly aid in their emotional development and adjustment post-shelter.

Furthermore, this interaction can potentially lead to positive behavioral changes in the dogs, making them more appealing to future adopters. This presents a win-win situation for both the dogs and the individuals fostering them.

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Navigating the Guilt Associated with Foster Care

Feelings of guilt can often arise in circumstances like this, especially when outside opinions challenge personal beliefs. According to Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, guilt can be a powerful emotion that leads to self-reflection. However, it’s important to differentiate between constructive guilt, which can motivate positive change, and destructive guilt, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

It's crucial for the individual to evaluate their motivations for fostering shelter dogs: Is it for personal fulfillment, or is it driven by a desire to do good? Engaging in this self-reflection can help clarify intentions and alleviate unnecessary guilt.

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Pet fostering can also enhance emotional resilience in individuals. Engaging in acts of kindness and service, like fostering, activates the brain's reward centers, which can lead to increased feelings of happiness. Research in positive psychology suggests that these actions can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life, counteracting feelings of guilt.

Moreover, fostering dogs may also cultivate empathy and compassion in the individual, reinforcing a positive cycle of emotional well-being and social connection.

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Practical Recommendations for Future Fostering

To navigate the complexities of fostering shelter dogs while managing emotional responses, it might be helpful to establish clear boundaries and expectations. Engaging in open conversations with family members or friends about the emotional benefits and responsibilities involved can foster a supportive environment.

Additionally, considering a trial period for fostering can also help both the individual and the dogs assess compatibility without long-term commitment. This approach can alleviate feelings of guilt associated with the decision, as it allows for flexibility based on the experiences of both parties.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects a common internal conflict where the individual's desire to help conflicts with perceived societal expectations. It's essential to recognize that fostering animals can be an act of kindness, and emotional responses like guilt can often stem from external pressures rather than personal values.

By validating the positive impact of fostering on both the dogs and the foster family, individuals can alleviate feelings of guilt and embrace the nurturing role they play in the lives of these animals.

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Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, fostering shelter dogs can provide immense psychological benefits for both the animals and their temporary guardians. Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that fostering not only enhances emotional well-being but also promotes the social skills of the animals involved.

Therefore, it's important to embrace the act of fostering as a meaningful contribution to the welfare of these dogs while addressing any guilt through self-reflection and open dialogue.