Should I Give My Daughter Money for Food When She Won't Fix Her College Food Card Issue?

Are you an AH for not giving your daughter money to buy food because she won't talk to the college desk to fix her food card? The situation is tricky – your daughter's food card isn't working, and she needs to contact the college dining services to resolve it.

However, her anxiety is preventing her from taking this simple step, leading to skipped meals and distress. You've encouraged her to handle the issue herself, but she's struggling.

Your spouse believes you're being too harsh and suggests sending money or fixing it for her. But is that the right approach?

Some Reddit users suggest giving your daughter two options: either fix the card or seek mental health treatment to address her anxiety. They emphasize the importance of her learning to handle basic challenges and advocate for her own needs as an adult.

Others point out the broader implications of her anxiety, questioning her ability to handle emergencies or basic adult responsibilities. The discussion delves into the necessity of developing life skills and independence, even in the face of anxiety.

The consensus seems to lean towards supporting her growth while not enabling avoidance behaviors that may hinder her development.

Original Post

Edit: I can't believe I have to say this... I can't force an adult to do anything.

I don't have that power.

Also, please read the comments before asking for information; it has probably been answered.

So, my daughter recently started college in person, and part of her expenses is covered by a meal plan. She is 19, and her first year of college was spent commuting because of her anxiety.

She decided to attend college in person this year and is staying in the dorms. The problem is that her food card isn't working.

It’s something that can easily be fixed by contacting the college dining services, but she refuses to go talk to them. She needs to get a new one since this one is bent.

My daughter has pretty bad anxiety, especially around making phone calls and talking to people in authority. I’ve told her repeatedly that all she needs to do is go to the dining services office, but she won’t do it.

As a result, she’s been skipping meals and calling me, upset that she’s hungry. I have expressed multiple times that she needs to handle this and go talk to the people.

I’ve refused to step in and handle it for her. I got a call today asking me to give her some money to buy food at Walmart.

I told her no and advised her to go talk to the people. This resulted in an argument, and she thinks I am being a huge a*****e.

My spouse thinks I’m being too harsh and suggests sending money or fixing it for her.

Understanding Anxiety in Decision-Making

This situation highlights the intersection of anxiety and decision-making, particularly in relation to financial matters. According to Dr. Lisa Brown, a clinical psychologist, anxiety can lead individuals to avoid confronting uncomfortable situations, such as financial issues.

Research published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology shows that avoidance behaviors often stem from a desire to escape anxiety, leading to further complications in personal and financial management.

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When anxiety prevents individuals from addressing practical issues, it can create a cycle of stress and avoidance. Studies indicate that this cycle can lead to increased feelings of helplessness and frustration, particularly among college students managing new responsibilities.

Understanding these dynamics can help families approach financial discussions with greater empathy and support.

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The Role of Family Support

Family support is crucial in helping individuals navigate anxiety related to financial issues. Experts recommend that family members engage in open discussions about financial responsibilities, providing a supportive environment for addressing concerns.

Research indicates that supportive family dynamics can significantly enhance coping strategies, allowing individuals to confront their anxieties more effectively.

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Additionally, encouraging a collaborative approach to solving problems can foster a sense of teamwork and reduce feelings of isolation. Studies show that families who work together to tackle challenges report higher levels of satisfaction and emotional well-being.

This partnership approach can also reinforce the importance of shared responsibility in financial matters.

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Developing Coping Strategies

Developing healthy coping strategies is essential for managing anxiety related to financial issues. Psychologists suggest that mindfulness practices, such as meditation and breathing exercises, can help individuals regulate their emotions and reduce anxiety levels.

Research indicates that these techniques can be effective in promoting emotional resilience, allowing individuals to approach challenges with a clearer mindset.

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Furthermore, creating a structured plan for addressing financial issues can empower individuals to take action, reducing feelings of helplessness. Studies show that having a clear plan can enhance motivation and provide a sense of control over stressful situations.

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Encouraging Open Communication

Open communication about financial concerns is vital in reducing anxiety and fostering collaboration. Encouraging family members to express their thoughts and feelings can create a supportive environment where everyone feels valued.

Research shows that families who prioritize communication report better emotional health and stronger relationships, particularly during challenging times.

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We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the challenges of navigating anxiety in financial decision-making. It’s vital for family members to approach these discussions with empathy, recognizing the emotional barriers that can complicate effective communication and problem-solving.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, addressing anxiety around financial issues requires understanding, support, and effective coping strategies. Encouraging open discussions about responsibilities and fostering a collaborative approach can help alleviate stress and promote emotional well-being.

As highlighted by the American Psychological Association, recognizing the emotional context behind financial decisions is essential for fostering healthier family dynamics.