Should I Have Forwarded My Friends Girlfriends Texts About Limiting My Relationship with His Daughter?

AITA for forwarding texts from my friend's girlfriend who wanted me out of their lives, leading to their breakup?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
11 Oct 2025

Should I Have Forwarded My Friends Girlfriends Texts About Limiting My Relationship with His Daughter?

In a tangled web of family dynamics, one Reddit user, a 44-year-old woman, found herself in a situation that tested the boundaries of friendship and family. The post delves into her long-standing bond with her friend Mike, dating back to their 20s, and the unique relationship that blossomed between them after the tragic passing of Mike's wife.

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As their friendship evolved into a romantic relationship and eventually transitioned back into a strong platonic bond, the user found herself deeply involved in Mike and his daughter Jenna's lives. Jenna, now a 19-year-old university student, became a pivotal figure in this narrative when Mike started dating Tess, who felt threatened by the user's close relationship with Mike and Jenna.

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Tess's attempt to push the user out of their lives led to a confrontation, with Tess demanding the user to distance herself from Jenna. When the user disclosed Tess's ultimatum to Mike, it triggered a chain of events that culminated in Mike ending his relationship with Tess.

The post raises the moral dilemma of whether the user was in the wrong for forwarding Tess's messages to Mike and maintaining a strong connection with Jenna despite Tess's objections. The Reddit community weighed in on the situation, with resounding support for the user's actions, applauding her loyalty to Jenna and Mike while questioning Tess's motives and behavior.

The discussion delves into the complexities of blended families, loyalty, and the boundaries of relationships, sparking a debate on who holds the right to dictate familial connections.

Original Post

I (44F) have been friends with “Mike” (44M) since we were in our 20s. We have helped each other through a ton of stuff and I consider him probably my best friend.

Mike was married for a few years and together they had a daughter, “Jenna”. Unfortunately, his wife passed away when Jenna was 2. I was there for both Mike and Jenna through the hard time, guiding Mike as a single dad.

I was around a lot. When Jenna was about 8 years old, Mike and I realized we had feelings for one another and started dating.

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Jenna was actually really excited. I moved in with them 3 years in.

I had always been a mother figure to Jenna but our bond strengthened. After another 3 years, Mike and I broke up.

There was no big drama, no cheating or anything. We just came to realize we were better off as friends.

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This was hard on Jenna, who by then was 14, but I promised I’d stay in her life, and it’s a promise I’ve kept. She’s spent weekends at my house, I’ve taken her on trips, she calls me all the time.

Mike is supportive of this. We joke we unofficially have joint custody.

And we even still do things as a family. It's been 5 years now and I’ve since gotten married.

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My husband is very supportive of me being in Mike and Jenna’s lives, especially Jenna’s. They were both at our wedding, with Jenna serving as a bridesmaid.

Jenna jokes that my husband is her step-dad and they get along great. Last year, Mike started dating again and is with “Tess” (38F).

I could tell from the start that Tess felt uncomfortable with my friendship with Mike. I tried to give some distance out of respect, though I remained close with Jenna, who is now 19 and attending a local university.

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Jenna has told me that she’s not a huge fan of Tess. She’s not evil or anything, but they haven’t meshed well.

She said Tess tries to act like her mom, but they don’t have that connection and doesn’t think they ever will considering they met when Jenna was an older teen. I encouraged Jenna to talk to her dad about it, but I don’t know if she has.

Recently, Tess texted me. She said that she wanted me to stop hanging out with Jenna.

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I told her that wasn’t up to her and I didn’t want to do this. She told me that she was going to be Jenna’s step-mom and my place was being filled.

I simply replied that I was around before she showed up, I’d be around as long as Jenna wanted me to be. I then forwarded the messages to Mike, who told me that he had no plans on proposing to Tess and he wants me around.

He dumped her. She tried blaming me for the whole thing and I just blocked her.

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Jenna is happy things are over between them. However, some of Mike and I’s mutual friends feel I shouldn’t have forwarded the texts, and that I should’ve respected Tess wanting to get closer to Jenna, and encouraged Jenna to be friends with her.

The thing is, I told Jenna before if she wanted to be closer to Tess, she should be, but she doesn’t want to. People say it’s because I stuck around longer than I should’ve.

AITA?

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