Should I Have Lent Money to My Mother-in-Law for Her Business Venture?

"AITA for denying my mother-in-law a loan for her business venture? Her reaction raises questions about family support and financial boundaries."

Stephanie

Published in Interesting
4 Jan 2026

Should I Have Lent Money to My Mother-in-Law for Her Business Venture?

In the complex web of family dynamics, financial discussions can often lead to tension and misunderstandings. A recent Reddit thread sheds light on one such situation where a woman, married for five years, faced a challenging decision involving her mother-in-law, Pam.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

Known for her impulsive financial ventures, Pam approached the couple for a significant loan to fund yet another business idea, which she assured them was a guaranteed success. Despite their reservations, the couple declined to lend the money, citing Pam's history of risky decisions as their primary concern.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

This seemingly innocent refusal spiraled into a series of passive-aggressive remarks from Pam, who accused them of selfishness and a lack of support. Fast forward to the present, and Pam's venture has unfortunately failed, leaving her in financial distress and seeking help to cover her debts.

Now, the couple grapples with guilt and the question of whether they were justified in their initial refusal. As the conversation unfolds on Reddit, users are weighing in on the ethics of family lending and the importance of financial boundaries.

Should they feel obligated to help, or is it essential to prioritize their own financial stability? Join the discussion and share your thoughts on this relatable dilemma.

Original Post

I (32F) have been happily married to my husband (35M) for five years, and we have a good relationship with his parents. My mother-in-law, let's call her Pam, has always been a bit financially irresponsible.

She often jumps into new business ventures without thoroughly researching or planning them. For background, Pam recently approached me and my husband for a substantial loan to fund her latest business idea, claiming it was a 'sure thing' and would bring great returns.

However, based on past experiences, we were hesitant to provide the money. We politely declined and explained our reservations, but Pam didn't take it well.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

She accused us of not supporting her and being selfish for not helping family. Pam has since been passive-aggressive towards us, making snide remarks about our financial stability and hinting at how much she 'trusted' us before.

Despite her behavior, we stood firm in our decision, knowing the risks involved. Last week, Pam's business idea failed, and she faced significant financial losses.

Now she's coming back to us, asking for help to cover her debts and get back on her feet. We sympathize with her situation but feel that we made the right choice in not lending money initially.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

Pam's behavior towards us has only worsened, and she's now questioning our values and morals. So AITA for refusing to lend money to my mother-in-law, even in her time of need?