Should I Have Shared Screenshots of My Conversation with My Older Sister to Our Other Sisters Without Permission?

A 28-year-old woman tried to fix things with her oldest sister, but it turned into a six-month Cold War that got colder with every family function. The texts changed, the ignoring started, and her sister kept telling her to her face that she was unhappy with her behavior and life choices.

Here’s the messy part, her sister demanded an apology, she gave one, and her sister still said it wasn’t good enough. After seven separate attempts to talk were met with excuses like “too busy” and “not mentally capable,” the younger sister decided to send screenshots of that conversation to the other sisters, without telling the oldest one first.

Now everyone’s stuck wondering if she was trying to get backup, or just crossed a line.

Original Post

My oldest sister and I have been engaged in a bit of a Cold War for the last six months. I've known there's something wrong between us for a bit between our text tone changing, her starting to ignore me at family functions, and telling me multiple times to my face that she is not happy with my behaviour or life choices.

I have asked her on seven separate occasions over six months if we could talk, and she keeps telling me she's too busy, doesn't have the mental fortitude for it, or that she wants an apology from me first. I gave the apology and she said it wasn't good enough, that she doesn't have time to hold me by the hand and tell me where I went wrong as an adult (she's 41, I'm 28).

AITA for sending screenshots of that conversation to my other sisters so they knew the situation without telling my oldest sister I was going to?

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It also echoes the sister feud over modernizing a cherished family recipe, where tradition clashed with individuality.

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The moment her oldest sister ignored her at family functions and kept asking for a “real” apology, the whole situation stopped feeling like a normal disagreement.

After seven attempts to talk got shut down with “you need to apologize” and “I don’t have the mental fortitude,” OP snapped and shared screenshots with the other sisters.

Once the other sisters saw the messages where the oldest sister said she wouldn’t “hold her by the hand,” it likely changed how everyone judged OP’s side.

The real question hanging over the dinner-table vibe is whether sending those screenshots was “informing the family” or quietly undermining the oldest sister’s trust.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

The family dinner did not end well, and now OP has to live with the fallout of going behind her sister’s back.

For more family fallout, see how the reunion host got backlash for refusing to mediate conflicts.