Should I Invite Cheater to Movie Night After He Hurt My Friend?

A 28-year-old woman refused to invite her friend’s cheating ex to their usual movie night, and it turned into a full-blown loyalty test with real feelings on both sides.

Here’s the mess: her close-knit group rallied around Lily, 27, after Lily’s boyfriend, 29, cheated with a coworker. They listened, supported, and helped her get through the breakup fallout. Then Lily casually mentioned she wanted to bring him back to the next movie night, and the original poster froze, because she cannot unsee what he did to her friend.

Now the question is whether “moving on” includes inviting the guy who hurt Lily in front of everyone.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) part of a close-knit friend group that regularly has movie nights at each other's places. Recently, my friend (27F) let's call her Lily, went through a tough time when her boyfriend (29M) cheated on her with a coworker.

Lily was devastated and leaned on all of us for support. We rallied around her, listened to her vent, and just tried to be there for her. However, last week, Lily mentioned that she wanted to bring her boyfriend to our next movie night.

I was caught off guard and felt conflicted. On one hand, I want Lily to be happy and feel supported by us.

On the other hand, I cannot stand the sight of her boyfriend after what he did to her. I know Lily forgave him and is trying to move past it, but I can't shake off the betrayal I felt for her.

I expressed my discomfort to Lily, telling her that I didn't think it was a good idea for him to join our movie night. Lily got upset and accused me of being unsupportive and judgmental.

She said that if we were really her friends, we would accept her decisions and welcome her boyfriend back into the group. I understand her perspective, but I just can't bring myself to socialize with him knowing what he did to Lily.

I value our friendship, but I also have my boundaries. So, AITA for refusing to invite my friend's boyfriend to our friend group's movie night after he cheated on her?

I genuinely don't know if I'm being too judgmental or if I'm just standing up for what I believe in.

The Balancing Act of Loyalty

The situation really highlights the balancing act between supporting a friend and maintaining personal boundaries. The original poster has been a rock for Lily during her heartbreak, but now she's faced with a decision that feels like a betrayal to her own values. Inviting the cheater would mean condoning his actions, while excluding him could make her seem unsupportive of Lily's choice to forgive.

This moral grey area is where many readers find themselves divided. Some might argue that forgiveness is essential in relationships, while others see it as a slippery slope that could undermine the trust and values within friendships. It’s a classic case of ‘who do you stand by when the chips are down?’

That “supporting Lily through it” energy instantly clashes with the moment Lily drops, “Also, he’s coming to movie night,” like it’s no big deal.

Comment from u/starlit_dreamer11

NTA - Lily shouldn't expect everyone to forgive and forget so easily, especially given the situation. Your discomfort is valid

Comment from u/spicy_nachos87

YTA - It's a tough situation, but by not inviting Lily's boyfriend, you're essentially pushing Lily away. Maybe talk to Lily and find a compromise

The original poster tries to explain her discomfort, but Lily hears “judgment,” not “boundary,” and her whole vibe flips.

Comment from u/coffeecup_lover

NTA - Cheating is a serious breach of trust, and everyone processes it differently. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to set boundaries in this case

It’s also like the AITA where someone invited their friend’s ex to cheer her up, and the group paid the price.

Comment from u/musiclover_gal

ESH - Lily's boyfriend for obvious reasons, Lily for pushing your boundaries, and you for potentially causing a rift in the friend group. Communication is key here

After Lily calls her unsupportive for refusing, the friend group dynamic gets weird fast, because nobody wants to pick a side after the cheating drama.

Comment from u/randomthoughts22

NTA - Cheating is a big deal, and it's understandable that you wouldn't want him around. Maybe have an open conversation with Lily to explain your perspective

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

So the original poster is stuck deciding if excluding the cheater is a betrayal to Lily, or the only way she can stay in the group without feeling sick.

What’s at Stake Here?

This scenario resonates strongly because it taps into the complexity of modern relationships. When Lily decides to forgive her boyfriend, she’s making a choice that affects not just her but everyone around her. The OP’s discomfort in inviting someone who’s hurt her friend speaks volumes about the emotional stakes involved. Readers can easily relate to the internal conflict of wanting to support a friend while also feeling the need to protect their own emotional well-being.

The community’s reaction is fascinating, as many see this as a reflection of their own experiences. Some readers empathize with the OP, feeling that loyalty should have limits, while others believe in the power of forgiveness, regardless of the past. It’s a microcosm of how friendships navigate the sometimes murky waters of love and betrayal.

The Bottom Line

This story really underscores how challenging it can be to navigate friendships when romantic relationships go awry.

What It Comes Down To

The original poster's struggle seems rooted in a deep sense of loyalty to her friend, Lily, who has been hurt by her boyfriend's infidelity. By wanting to exclude him from movie night, she’s not just setting a boundary; she's also expressing her discomfort with the betrayal that Lily is trying to forgive. This situation highlights a common conflict in friendships: how do you support someone while also standing by your own values? The differing opinions in the Reddit comments reflect the complexity of human relationships, where forgiveness and loyalty often collide, leaving friends to navigate a tricky emotional landscape.

The movie night plan is not the real problem, it’s whether Lily’s forgiveness comes with everyone else swallowing the same betrayal.

Wondering how to handle “forgive or set boundaries” when your best friend hits on your fiancé? Read this AITA about excluding a best friend from a bachelorette party.