Should I Let My Best Friend's Son Submit Flawed Law Enforcement Academy Application?

In a Reddit thread that sparked a heated debate, a user sought advice on whether they would be in the wrong for not proofreading an important document for their best friend's son. The son, aged 20, aspires to join a law enforcement academy, a career path that some family members feel might not be the best fit for him.

Despite their reservations, the family has been supportive of his decision. The dilemma arises when the son presents a poorly filled-out 30+ page document for scanning and emailing.

The document is riddled with errors, from missing information to illegible handwriting and misplaced details. The user, along with the son's mother and other family members, steps in to help rectify the mistakes.

However, even after multiple rounds of proofreading and corrections, errors persist in the final version of the document. The user contemplates whether to stay silent and let the son face the consequences of his incomplete and erroneous submission.

Top comments on the thread express mixed opinions, with some emphasizing personal responsibility and the need for the son to handle the application process independently, while others highlight the challenges of ADHD and the importance of providing appropriate support and guidance. The discussion delves into the complexities of the situation, questioning the level of assistance provided and the implications for the son's future in law enforcement.

Original Post

My best friend's son is 20 and wants to join a law enforcement academy. Our families have been extremely close since long before his birth.

I love this boy with all my heart, but I (and other members of his family) don’t necessarily think this is the right type of work for him, but we have been supporting him. His family doesn’t have a scanner, and he has a huge (30+ pages) document to fill out and email in.

He sent it to me to print out for him, then he completed it and gave it to my husband last night to scan. The pages were out of order, several had missing information like previous addresses, his phone number was illegible, information entered in wrong places was crudely scratched out, and he even forgot to put his NAME on it.

(He was confused because it had a place for maiden name.) He has ADHD and has always had trouble in school with completing assignments, and his handwriting is very childlike and practically illegible. These are just two of the reasons why we feel this isn’t a good fit for him.

We also found out last night that he had the email for a week before he sent it to me for printing. He said he didn’t get a notification that he received it.

We got it back in order, and I started going through it, finding the errors. I called his mom and talked to her about it.

We reprinted the pages that needed to be redone; he picked them up after work, and she stood over him while he fixed it all. My husband scanned it today, emailed it to him, and copied me on it.

I verified with his mom that she had looked over everything and that I didn’t need to proofread it again. She said yes.

Problem: just glancing through, I still found errors, including the date on the signature page. I have opted not to say anything and let the chips fall where they may.

My husband agrees. Our thinking is: If he needs three other people to help APPLY for a position and still can’t get the paperwork right, it is on him.

The official email hasn’t gone out yet. WIBTA?

Understanding ADHD and Occupational Choices

Adults with ADHD often face unique challenges when it comes to choosing and sustaining a career path. As noted by Dr. Angela Duckworth, a psychologist and author known for her work on grit and self-control, "People with ADHD may find it difficult to maintain focus and organization, which are essential skills in many professions, including law enforcement." This can lead to frustration and self-doubt as they navigate their career aspirations.

Understanding these challenges is vital for supporting young adults with ADHD as they pursue their goals. The family’s encouragement of the son’s ambition is commendable, but it’s also important to assess his readiness for the demands of the application process.

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From a psychological perspective, motivation plays a crucial role in how individuals with ADHD perceive their abilities and make career choices. According to Dr. Angela Duckworth, a renowned character researcher, "The belief in one's capabilities can significantly influence how we approach challenges." This belief is particularly significant for individuals with ADHD, as they often face unique challenges that can affect their self-esteem and decision-making process.

If the young man feels overwhelmed by the application process due to his ADHD, it may hinder his confidence and motivation. Such feelings of inadequacy can lead to a cycle of avoidance and procrastination, further complicating his journey toward achieving his career aspirations. Therefore, it is vital to address these feelings head-on.

Encouraging him to set small, manageable goals for completing the application could foster a sense of accomplishment and improve his self-perception, thus enhancing motivation. By breaking the process into smaller steps, he can gradually build confidence and develop a more positive outlook on his capabilities.

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The Importance of Social Support in ADHD

The role of social support cannot be overstated in managing ADHD symptoms. A study published in the Journal of Attention Disorders highlights that strong family and community support can significantly improve occupational outcomes for individuals with ADHD. This finding underscores the importance of a nurturing environment, especially for those pursuing challenging careers, such as law enforcement, where focus and resilience are crucial.

The son’s family can play a pivotal role in helping him navigate the complexities of his law enforcement academy application. By actively participating in his journey, they can provide not just emotional encouragement but also practical assistance in preparing for the rigorous demands of the program. Encouraging open discussions about his struggles can help foster a supportive environment where he feels comfortable seeking help and guidance without fear of judgment, ultimately empowering him to thrive despite his challenges.

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However, it’s essential to strike a balance between providing support and fostering independence. Over-supportiveness can lead to learned helplessness, where individuals may feel incapable of taking initiative and become overly reliant on others. This phenomenon is particularly concerning in developmental contexts, as it can hinder personal growth and autonomy. According to developmental psychologists, it’s crucial to encourage self-sufficiency in young adults, promoting their ability to navigate challenges without excessive reliance on external assistance.

One effective strategy is the gradual withdrawal of assistance, which can help individuals develop their skills and confidence. By allowing him to tackle parts of the application independently, we not only empower him but also provide opportunities for problem-solving and decision-making. This approach fosters resilience and self-esteem while still ensuring that guidance is available when needed, creating an optimal environment for growth and learning.

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The Role of Proofreading in Learning

Proofreading is an integral part of the learning process, especially for individuals with ADHD, as it helps in identifying and correcting errors. This practice not only aids in catching mistakes but also fosters a deeper understanding of the material being reviewed. Dr. Angela Duckworth, a renowned psychologist and author, states, "Effort and perseverance are key to mastering any skill, including attention to detail," which emphasizes the importance of proofreading in enhancing comprehension and focus over time. Encouraging the son to proofread his application can serve as a valuable learning experience, helping him refine his skills and better prepare for the meticulous nature of law enforcement work. By honing his proofreading abilities, he can develop a greater sense of responsibility and attention to detail, traits that are essential in any career, particularly in fields that require precision and accuracy. For more insights, visit Dr. Angela Duckworth's website.

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Deciding whether to proofread the application involves considering the individual’s readiness to learn and adapt. According to the Transtheoretical Model of Change, understanding where he stands in terms of motivation can significantly guide this decision-making process. If he is currently in the contemplation stage, engaging him in a discussion about the importance of attention to detail in law enforcement might encourage him to appreciate the critical need for proofreading. This stage is crucial, as it allows him to weigh the pros and cons of his current approach.

On the other hand, if he’s ready to take action, providing structured feedback on his application can be immensely beneficial. Offering targeted suggestions can help him make the necessary adjustments to enhance his submission, ultimately leading to a stronger application. This proactive approach not only boosts his confidence but also reinforces the value of meticulousness in his future endeavors within the field of law enforcement.

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ADHD and Law Enforcement: A Complex Intersection

To support this young man’s journey, a structured approach can be beneficial in various ways. Immediate steps include setting up a meeting to discuss the application thoroughly and identifying specific areas where he may be facing difficulty. By having a clear understanding of these challenges, we can create a tailored plan that addresses his needs. Short-term strategies could involve breaking the application into smaller, manageable sections, allowing him to concentrate on one part at a time over the next few weeks, which can significantly reduce overwhelm.

In the longer term, it may be advantageous to consider enrolling him in workshops that specifically enhance organizational skills or offer ADHD coaching. These resources can provide him with essential tools and strategies to effectively manage his symptoms while he diligently pursues his aspirations in law enforcement. With the right support and resources, he can build confidence and develop the skills necessary for success.

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We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the delicate balance between support and fostering independence, especially for someone with ADHD. While the son’s struggles with paperwork may stem from his condition, it's crucial for him to experience the consequences of his actions to build resilience and self-efficacy. Ultimately, navigating this dilemma requires understanding the importance of social support while also encouraging personal accountability and growth.

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Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, it's essential to balance support with fostering independence when dealing with adults with ADHD. While proofreading can provide immediate help, it's also important to consider the long-term implications on the individual's self-efficacy, independence, and readiness to learn. Dr. Carol Dweck, a leading motivation researcher, states that "the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life" (Dr. Carol Dweck). Ultimately, with the right support and accommodations, individuals with ADHD can excel in any career, including law enforcement.