Should I Let My Mom Move In? Setting Boundaries for Self-Care

A 28-year-old woman finally got her own place, and it felt like her nervous system could finally exhale. Living with roommates was fine, but solitude is different, and she’s been enjoying that peace for real.

Then her mom, 54, comes back into the picture. After a rough divorce, her mom wants to move in temporarily to get back on her feet, and while the relationship is close, it’s also complicated in a way that can feel suffocating. There’s guilt, too, because her mom doesn’t have many friends or family nearby, and saying no feels cruel.

Now OP is stuck between protecting her independence and not abandoning her mom at the worst possible time.

Original Post

I (28F) recently moved into a new place by myself after living with roommates for years. It's been amazing having my own space and independence.

However, my mom (54F), who went through a rough divorce, wants to move in with me temporarily to get back on her feet. For background, my mom and I have a close but complicated relationship.

She's always been there for me, but her presence can be overwhelming. I worry that having her here will suffocate me and affect our dynamic negatively.

I also fear losing the newfound freedom and peace I've discovered since living alone. My mom is struggling financially, and I feel guilty for even considering saying no to her.

But at the same time, I know it's essential for my mental health to set boundaries. She doesn't have many friends or other family nearby.

So AITA if I tell her she can't move back in with me, even temporarily?

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It’s like the AITA debate where someone refused to let a jobless sister stay indefinitely.

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OP’s new apartment was supposed to be her fresh start, but her mom’s “temporary” plan is already threatening that freedom.

The real tension is how mom’s presence can be overwhelming, even though she’s always shown up for OP.

Add the guilt of her mom’s financial stress, and suddenly “no” feels like it could blow up the whole relationship.

That’s why OP is asking if she’s the asshole for setting the boundary before her space turns into a pressure cooker.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

The mom might need a hand, but OP needs her own air.

Still unsure how to handle a “move back in” plea, check out the AITA fight over denying an ex’s request to move back after losing a job.