Should I Reveal My Best Friends Crush After Giving Bad Dating Advice?

A 27-year-old woman thought she was doing the right thing, encouraging her best friend to go after their mutual crush. It sounded simple, like a harmless nudge, until the guy rejected her friend and then revealed he was interested in OP instead.

Now OP is stuck in the middle of her own growing feelings and the fallout from advice that backfired. Her best friend, who is 28, confessed she has a massive crush on their 30-year-old mutual friend, and OP essentially helped push that direction, not realizing the rejection would flip the whole situation onto her.

Here’s the part that makes it messy: OP has to decide whether to confess her feelings and risk breaking trust, or stay quiet and let the friendship take the hit anyway.

Original Post

So I'm (27F) in a bit of a pickle and need some honest opinions. My best friend (28F) confessed to me that she has a massive crush on our mutual friend (30M).

I've always known they had a connection, so I encouraged her to ask him out. However, things took a turn when she told me he rejected her because he's interested in me instead.

Here's where it gets messy – I've started developing feelings for him too. I feel terrible for unknowingly giving her advice that backfired.

Should I come clean to her about my own feelings and the situation, potentially jeopardizing our friendship and her trust? Or should I keep it to myself to avoid further complications?

Hear me out before judging me. I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here and could use some outside perspective.

So WIBTA?

The Complications of Friendship and Love

This situation highlights how intertwined friendship and romantic feelings can lead to unexpected complications. The OP's encouragement for her best friend to pursue a crush shows her loyalty, but it also creates a delicate balance between support and self-interest. When the mutual friend shows interest in the OP instead, it puts her in a position where she must weigh her feelings against her friend's happiness.

The emotional stakes are elevated, making it hard to navigate the aftermath without stepping on toes. It’s a classic case of wanting to be supportive while grappling with conflicting desires that could ruin a friendship if not handled carefully.

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OP’s “go for it” energy for her best friend suddenly turns into guilt when the mutual friend tells her he’s into her instead.

Debate Around Honesty and Loyalty

This debate strikes at the heart of what loyalty means in friendships. Is it more important to protect a friend's feelings, or does the OP have a right to pursue her own happiness? The emotional complexity makes it relatable for many, sparking a passionate discussion in the comments.

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The moment the 28-year-old best friend hears that rejection, everything OP said about the crush starts sounding like it came with hidden consequences.

It also mirrors the AITA mess of giving dating advice to a best friend while knowing your crush likes her in this conflicted friend story.

The OP's dilemma illustrates the moral grey areas often found in romantic entanglements within friend groups. Encouraging a friend to pursue a crush only to discover your own feelings complicates the narrative. The OP probably didn't anticipate that her support would lead to this emotional conflict, showcasing how intentions can quickly shift. While her advice came from a good place, the unintended consequences could change the dynamics of both friendships and romantic interests forever.

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As OP realizes she might actually like the 30-year-old man back, the question shifts from “should she confess?” to “how do you confess without detonating the friendship?”

Community Reactions Show Diverse Perspectives

The community's reactions are a fascinating mix of empathy and pragmatism.

Comment from u/happy_camper83

Now it’s not just about honesty, it’s about whether OP can come clean to her best friend without making her feel played for trusting her.</p>

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

Why This Story Matters

This story serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities that arise when friendship and romance intertwine. The OP's situation invites readers to reflect on their own experiences with love and loyalty. Should she prioritize her feelings or her friend's happiness? How would you navigate such a tricky predicament? The answers may vary, but one thing’s for sure: it’s a delicate dance that many can relate to.

What It Comes Down To

The 27-year-old woman in this story finds herself in a classic love triangle, showcasing the intricate balance between loyalty and personal feelings. After encouraging her best friend to pursue the mutual crush, she’s left grappling with her own unexpected emotions when he turns his interest towards her. This situation highlights how well-meaning advice can sometimes lead to unintended consequences, forcing individuals to confront the uncomfortable reality of prioritizing their own happiness against the potential hurt of a close friend. The community's mixed reactions underscore the complexity of relationships, as many can empathize with her struggle to navigate these emotional waters.

Her best friend might not forgive the confession, but silence could cost her even more.

Before you spill your feelings, read how the best friend setup went wrong in this crush confession dilemma after setting them up.