Should I Tell My Pregnant Friend Im Naming My Daughter the Same Name? | AITA?

A 29-year-old woman just wanted to name her baby something she loves, but her best friend’s pregnancy made it feel like a loaded gun. OP and Sarah have been inseparable since they were kids, and they used to talk about future daughters named “Emily” like it was destiny.

Then OP got pregnant with a girl and chose Emily, but she kept it to herself. Sarah, who’s been dealing with infertility for years, announced she’s also having a girl and plans to name her baby Emily too, complete with personalized items and a social media reveal. Now Sarah wants OP to be the godmother, still unaware OP already picked the name.

And the real problem is this, OP loves the name, but coming clean could turn a happy pregnancy into a full-on friendship meltdown.

Original Post

I (29F), have been best friends with Sarah (28F) since we were kids. We always talked about our futures and both loved the name 'Emily' for a daughter.

Fast forward, I'm pregnant with a girl and decided to name her 'Emily.' Sarah struggled with infertility for years and recently shared she's finally pregnant with a girl. I didn't tell her the name I chose.

Sarah revealed her plans to name her daughter 'Emily,' thinking it was our dream. Now she made personalized items with 'Emily' and announced it on social media.

She asked me to be the godmother without knowing about my baby's name. I feel guilty but love the name and don't want to change it.

Would it be wrong to keep my daughter's name a secret or should I come clean and risk hurting Sarah during her pregnancy? So AITA?

The Clash of Expectations

This situation shines a light on the emotional stakes involved in naming a child, something that can feel deeply personal. For Sarah, the name 'Emily' represents a long-held dream, a vision of her future child that she’s likely nurtured through her own life experiences. Meanwhile, the OP's choice to keep her name secret raises questions about loyalty and transparency in friendships. It’s not just a name; it symbolizes the dynamics of their relationship and the potential rivalry that could arise.

It’s fascinating how a name can carry so much weight, transforming a simple decision into a source of conflict. The emotional fallout from this could shift their friendship forever, depending on how each party navigates this revelation.

OP is sitting there thinking about how Sarah has already posted “Emily” merch, and she still has not said the name out loud.

Comment from u/throwaway_acct_5678

Of course, YTA! That's Sarah's dream name, and you knew it. First rule of naming babies is don't steal your bestie's name, come on!

Comment from u/potato_lover99

NTA - You loved the name before it was her baby's name. It's not like you named your baby that because she did. But the timing is unfortunate.

Comment from u/jane_doe_1

YTA - That's a low blow. You could have respected her feelings by at least giving her a heads up. She'll likely feel betrayed when she finds out.

Comment from u/coffee_fanatic43

ESH - You for not telling her upfront and Sarah for assuming without confirming. This is a mess that could have been avoided with communication.

Sarah’s godmother request lands right after the personalized Emily items, which makes the silence feel way harder to explain.

Comment from u/stargazing_guru

NTA - You have the right to choose a name you love for your child. Sarah needs to understand that you didn't do it out of malice, but out of personal connection to the name.

It’s also like the friend who spoiled a pregnancy announcement surprise while the other person was struggling with infertility.

Comment from u/the_small_things22

YTA - You should have been transparent from the start. Imagine if the roles were reversed, how would you feel? Honesty is key in friendships.

Comment from u/random_user_987

NTA - It's your baby, your choice. Sarah will understand eventually that names can overlap. Just explain your side kindly.

Meanwhile the comment section is already split, with one person calling it “stealing” and another saying OP loved the name first.

Comment from u/gaming_master2001

YTA - Why keep something so significant from your best friend? She deserves to know, and you can't avoid the consequences of your silence forever.

Comment from u/musiclover22

NTA - It's your baby's name, and Sarah's choice shouldn't dictate yours. But prepare for possibly strained relations if she finds out after the fact.

Comment from u/the_real_deal

YTA - Friendship is about trust and honesty. Keeping this from Sarah might be convenient now but could damage your relationship in the long run. Best to come clean.

Now OP has to decide whether to protect the friendship by confessing, or protect her baby name by keeping it secret.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Community Reactions and Divisions

The Reddit community's response was predictably split, with some siding with the OP's right to choose a name without feeling guilty and others championing Sarah’s claim to the name. This division highlights a common tension in friendships: the balance between individuality and shared experiences. Readers can relate to the idea that life events, like naming a child, often come with unspoken agreements or expectations.

What’s particularly interesting is how the commenters grappled with the concept of friendship versus personal choice. Some argued that the OP had every right to name her child as she saw fit, while others felt that revealing the name before Sarah could potentially ease the tension. It’s a classic case of navigating the murky waters of relationships, showing just how personal choices can ripple through friendships.

Why This Story Matters

This story serves as a reminder of how personal decisions can impact relationships in unexpected ways. It raises the question of whether certain boundaries should be respected in friendships, especially when it comes to deeply personal milestones like naming a child. What do you think—should the OP have disclosed her baby's name to Sarah, or is it perfectly acceptable to keep that choice private? Share your thoughts!

The Bigger Picture

The tension in this story stems from deeply personal stakes tied to the name "Emily." For the original poster, claiming the name feels like an assertion of her own identity and choice, especially after years of friendship with Sarah. Meanwhile, Sarah's attachment to the name highlights her long-held dreams and struggles with infertility, making her emotional investment particularly poignant. The conflict showcases how personal milestones, like naming a child, can unveil underlying dynamics in friendships, forcing a reckoning between individual desires and shared history.

OP might not have meant to hurt Sarah, but the Emily reveal could blow up their best-friend bond anyway.

For another baby-name blowup, see what happened when a friend accused me of using discussed names. AITA for using baby names we talked about