Should I Work for Free for My Exs Husband? AITA for Refusing?

AITA for refusing to do free work for my ex's husband, a non-union tradesman who disrespected my profession and now expects favors from me?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
22 Dec 2025

Should I Work for Free for My Exs Husband? AITA for Refusing?

Some people think “quick favor” means “free labor,” and this custody arrangement just got messy because one guy’s new husband thinks union rules are optional. The cast is already tense: an electrician dad, his ex-wife, their three kids, and Brad, the man who moved in after a whirlwind six-month relationship.

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It all started at a volleyball game when Brad publicly mocked the union, right in front of the electrician and his union shirt. Then, the next morning, the ex called with a panel job that “just needed a few minutes,” asking him to swing by and do work for Brad without the usual setup. He refused, citing union rules and his licensing requirements, and now his ex says he’s being petty and stirring drama.

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Here’s the full story.

Original Post

I’m an electrician and a union member. My ex and I share custody of our three kids.

Things are ok now, but the divorce last year was rough. She got remarried in August to a guy after dating for six months let’s call him “Brad" Here where the issue kinda starts; a few weeks ago Brad was at my daughter’s volleyball game saying stuff about how “Real tradesmen don’t need to be in a union.” He said this right in front of me, and I was wearing a shirt with my union logo on it, he works in the trades also but just does small non union IT/ data network jobs.

I stayed calm and didn’t bite. He is self employed and I know barely makes a profit.

My license also allows me to do all of his kind of work at my pay rate. This morning, my ex called me out of the blue.

She said a panel at one of Brad's jobs, needed some work and asked if I could “just swing by” to check it out. She said, “You’d only need your tools for a few minutes just a quick favor, it’s not a big deal, and you would be technically working for Brad." So when my ex asked for a quick favor, I told her, "I charge everyone the same rate, and per union rules I cant just do a side job its gotta be done under my shop." She said, “You’re really gonna force this issue with my husband?” I told her, “He can just have his own subcontractors or step up and by paying me like everyone else does.” Now she’s saying I’m being petty and creating tension.

Claiming that im just making a stink cause he lives with the kids." I told her that professionalism isn’t petty and that I don’t give free labor to people who disrespect my trade. So AITA for refusing to do free work for my ex’s husband, even though it might make things awkward for my co-parenting relationship?