Should I Work for Free for My Exs Husband? AITA for Refusing?

AITA for refusing to do free work for my ex's husband, a non-union tradesman who disrespected my profession and now expects favors from me?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
22 Dec 2025

Should I Work for Free for My Exs Husband? AITA for Refusing?

In a world where personal and professional boundaries often blur, one father faces a dilemma that raises questions about respect, labor, and co-parenting. In a recent Reddit thread, a union electrician recounts an uncomfortable encounter with his ex-wife’s new husband, Brad, who publicly dismissed the importance of union membership in front of him.

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The tension escalated when Brad’s work needed urgent attention, and instead of reaching out directly, his wife asked him to provide free labor under the guise of a favor. The electrician stood firm, explaining that he adheres to union rules that prevent him from taking on side jobs without proper contracts.

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This decision, however, didn’t sit well with his ex-wife, who accused him of being petty and creating unnecessary friction in their co-parenting relationship. As responses pour in, many Reddit users rally around the electrician, asserting that his refusal to work for free—especially after being disrespected—is not only justified but also necessary to maintain professional integrity.

As the discussion unfolds, it raises broader questions about the expectations placed on individuals in similar situations: When is it appropriate to draw the line between personal relationships and professional responsibilities? Would the dynamics shift if children were directly impacted?

Join the conversation and share your thoughts!

Original Post

I’m an electrician and a union member. My ex and I share custody of our three kids.

Things are ok now, but the divorce last year was rough. She got remarried in August to a guy after dating for six months let’s call him “Brad" Here where the issue kinda starts; a few weeks ago Brad was at my daughter’s volleyball game saying stuff about how “Real tradesmen don’t need to be in a union.” He said this right in front of me, and I was wearing a shirt with my union logo on it, he works in the trades also but just does small non union IT/ data network jobs.

I stayed calm and didn’t bite. He is self employed and I know barely makes a profit.

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My license also allows me to do all of his kind of work at my pay rate. This morning, my ex called me out of the blue.

She said a panel at one of Brad's jobs, needed some work and asked if I could “just swing by” to check it out. She said, “You’d only need your tools for a few minutes just a quick favor, it’s not a big deal, and you would be technically working for Brad." So when my ex asked for a quick favor, I told her, "I charge everyone the same rate, and per union rules I cant just do a side job its gotta be done under my shop." She said, “You’re really gonna force this issue with my husband?” I told her, “He can just have his own subcontractors or step up and by paying me like everyone else does.” Now she’s saying I’m being petty and creating tension.

Claiming that im just making a stink cause he lives with the kids." I told her that professionalism isn’t petty and that I don’t give free labor to people who disrespect my trade. So AITA for refusing to do free work for my ex’s husband, even though it might make things awkward for my co-parenting relationship?

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