This Redditor Was Told She Couldn’t Take Her Niece And Nephew For Ice Cream—But Now Their Mom Wants To Babysit Her Newborn

When pregnant Reddit user u/S_I9807 shared her story online, it quickly sparked debate about trust and family boundaries. After years of being told “no,” one comment about her future baby pushed her to speak up.

The 27-year-old OP explained that she and her husband love his niece and nephew, ages 10 and 8. Her husband has always been close with them, but their parents never allowed the couple to take the kids out—even for simple things like ice cream.

At first the excuse was that the OP was just the girlfriend and they didn’t know her well. Later, even after the couple got married, the rule became that they simply didn’t trust anyone with their kids.

Eventually, the couple stopped asking and just saw the kids occasionally at the mother-in-law’s house, which is about an hour away. Invitations to hang out or go on outings were usually turned down.

Now the OP is expecting her first baby this September. During a recent visit, her brother-in-law’s girlfriend kept saying she couldn’t wait for the baby to be born so they could take him all the time.

At first the OP ignored the comments, thinking they were jokes. But when it became clear she was serious, the OP responded bluntly.

She asked why they would expect to take her infant when they never trusted the couple to take their older kids out for ice cream. The girlfriend got upset, while the mother-in-law accused the OP of being petty.

The OP admits it may have sounded harsh—but she can’t help wondering if the expectation was unfair in the first place.

When it became clear she was serious, the OP responded bluntly.

AI-generated image

Here’s the original post by Reddit user u/S_I9807.

For context I (27f) am pregnant with my first child. My husband has an older brother (34m) and his brother has a girlfriend (33f) and they have 2 children (10f and 8m). My husband (30m) loves his neice and nephew and his niece has always been close to my husband since 4 and when she got older (around 6) she would ask him to take her to the zoo, museum well anywhere kids usually like, she would ask why he never takes her out or goes to go see her outside of when we would go to my MILs house (she takes care of them). He would lie and say it’s because we’re busy or we had other things to do but in reality, it’s because her parents would not let us. He even thought when I came in the picture that they would feel safer since I would take care of my nieces and nephews but they refused saying they weren’t comfortable enough with that and that the kids were too young (we would ask to take both of them). We eventually gave up on asking and we would do our best to try and go more often but MIL lives about an hour away and when we would ask to hang out with his brother and gf to see the kids they would make excuses. Now my husband has a bestfriend who we consider family and his son and daughter call us aunt and uncle, the bestfriend is married to my BIL sister so my husbands nieces and nephews and his best friends kids are cousins. We have taken our “niece” (bestfriends daughter 11f) out plenty of times and we would even call BILs gf to see since her cousin was going they would allow our niece to go but we were met with “I am sorry but my sister might trust just anyone with her kids but I can’t do that” and would say no. Now that I gave a run down of what the dynamic is, I am set to have my son in September and we were over at their house a couple weeks ago and BILs gf just kept saying “I can’t wait for the baby to be born we’re going to be taking him all the time” I ignored the comments at first I mean we rarely see them because even when my husband has invited them to gatherings, vacations we take, or even just out to eat they always say no so why would they even think I would let them take my baby alone to their home 1.5 hours from mine and on top of that expect me to drop him off. When I realized she wasn’t joking, I said “well why would you think you would be able to take my infant child when we couldn’t take your grown children for some ice cream” and she instantly got upset. I just don’t understand why if she never trusted us with her kids she would think I would trust her with mine. At first the excuse was she didn’t know me, then it was I was just the gf and didn’t know how I would treat them and then when married on we just don’t trust anyone with our kids which fair. My MIL (which is a shitshow of its own) says I am being unreasonable and shouldn’t be petty and says I shouldn’t have said that but my husband and I agree yes we were being petty but at the same time why would we trust someone who doesn’t trust us? AITAH? EDIT: “the bestfriend is married to my BIL sister” sorry for the confusion for the sentence above I meant the best friend is married to BILs girlfriends sister.

Let's see how the Reddit community reacted.

dryadduinath

Why would you trust them?

sevenumbrellas

That's very strange.

cassowary32

She needed to be called out.

speechsurvivor23

NTA.

Malibucat48

It's weird that she'd get upset over this.

HairyStrawberry3765

She's the AH here.

Living-Ear8015

Give her a taste of her own medicine.

lkouisebelcher29

Just tell her you don't trust her.

WeelsUpIn30

She's projecting.

hmph1910

Give MIL a warning as well.

Playful-Business7457

Nope!

Calm_Initial

Where did that entitlement come from?

anya-bear

Family dynamics can be complicated, especially when trust and boundaries have been an issue for years. While some people think the OP’s comment was a little blunt, others believe it was a fair reminder that trust goes both ways.

At the end of the day, becoming a parent often changes how people view boundaries and expectations. And for this soon-to-be mom, it seems she’s simply applying the same standards that were set for her all along.