This Redditor Was Told She Couldn’t Take Her Niece And Nephew For Ice Cream—But Now Their Mom Wants To Babysit Her Newborn

A 27-year-old woman is pregnant with her first baby, and she thought she was finally walking into a calmer, more supportive family dynamic. Instead, her husband’s brother’s girlfriend has been acting like OP is some kind of babysitting threat, even though OP’s husband has been close with their niece and nephew for years.

It gets messy fast, because the kids have been allowed to go places with other relatives, just not with OP or her husband. They’ve been shut down with “we can’t trust just anyone,” even when it’s their own family who’s asking. And then the girlfriend starts talking like she’ll be taking the newborn “all the time,” which is when OP’s patience runs out.

Here’s the part where a simple “no” turns into a full-on family power move.

When it became clear she was serious, the OP responded bluntly.

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Original Post

For context I (27f) am pregnant with my first child. My husband has an older brother (34m) and his brother has a girlfriend (33f) and they have 2 children (10f and 8m).

My husband (30m) loves his niece and nephew and his niece has always been close to my husband since 4 and when she got older (around 6) she would ask him to take her to the zoo, museum well anywhere kids usually like, she would ask why he never takes her out or goes to go see her outside of when we would go to my MILs house (she takes care of them).He would lie and say it’s because we’re busy or we had other things to do but in reality, it’s because her parents would not let us. He even thought when I came in the picture that they would feel safer since I would take care of my nieces and nephews but they refused saying they weren’t comfortable enough with that and that the kids were too young (we would ask to take both of them).We eventually gave up on asking and we would do our best to try and go more often but MIL lives about an hour away and when we would ask to hang out with his brother and gf to see the kids they would make excuses. Now my husband has a bestfriend who we consider family and his son and daughter call us aunt and uncle, the bestfriend is married to my BIL sister so my husbands nieces and nephews and his best friends kids are cousins.We have taken our “niece” (bestfriends daughter 11f) out plenty of times and we would even call BILs gf to see since her cousin was going they would allow our niece to go but we were met with “I am sorry but my sister might trust just anyone with her kids but I can’t do that” and would say no.Now that I gave a run down of what the dynamic is, I am set to have my son in September and we were over at their house a couple weeks ago and BILs gf just kept saying “I can’t wait for the baby to be born we’re going to be taking him all the time” I ignored the comments at first I mean we rarely see them because even when my husband has invited them to gatherings, vacations we take, or even just out to eat they always say no so why would they even think I would let them take my baby alone to their home 1.5 hours from mine and on top of that expect me to drop him off.When I realized she wasn’t joking, I said “well why would you think you would be able to take my infant child when we couldn’t take your grown children for some ice cream” and she instantly got upset. I just don’t understand why if she never trusted us with her kids she would think I would trust her with mine. At first the excuse was she didn’t know me, then it was I was just the gf and didn’t know how I would treat them and then when married on we just don’t trust anyone with our kids which fair.My MIL (which is a shitshow of its own) says I am being unreasonable and shouldn’t be petty and says I shouldn’t have said that but my husband and I agree yes we were being petty but at the same time why would we trust someone who doesn’t trust us?AITAH?EDIT: “the bestfriend is married to my BIL sister” sorry for the confusion for the sentence above I meant the best friend is married to BILs girlfriends sister.

Let's see how the Reddit community reacted.

dryadduinath

Why would you trust them?

sevenumbrellas

That's very strange.

cassowary32

She needed to be called out.

speechsurvivor23

NTA.

Malibucat48

It's weird that she'd get upset over this.

HairyStrawberry3765

And just like the secret “no-sharing” cookie recipe that got betrayed, Family Holiday Cookie Baking Tradition Ruined by Secret Recipe Betrayal shows how one family rule can blow everything up.

She's the AH here.

Living-Ear8015

Give her a taste of her own medicine.

lkouisebelcher29

Just tell her you don't trust her.

WeelsUpIn30

She's projecting.

hmph1910

Give MIL a warning as well.

Playful-Business7457

Nope!

Calm_Initial

Where did that entitlement come from?

anya-bear

That’s when the girlfriend’s “I can’t do that” routine about OP taking the 10-year-old and 8-year-old kids starts to feel less about safety and more about control.

After years of excuses from the brother and girlfriend, OP finally gets pulled into the same house again, where the girlfriend keeps hyping up taking the baby “all the time.”

Then OP’s husband realizes he’s been shut out of doing normal family stuff with his niece and nephew, while the girlfriend acts like OP’s newborn will be her personal invite-only event.

So when OP pushes back and says she can’t just accept their double standard, the brother’s girlfriend’s “now I want to babysit your newborn” plan hits a wall.

Family dynamics can be complicated, especially when trust and boundaries have been an issue for years. While some people think the OP’s comment was a little blunt, others believe it was a fair reminder that trust goes both ways.

At the end of the day, becoming a parent often changes how people view boundaries and expectations. And for this soon-to-be mom, it seems she’s simply applying the same standards that were set for her all along.

Now OP is stuck wondering if she’s the problem, or if the real issue is that her family only wants her help when it benefits them.

After disciplining her niece against her sister’s wishes, see how parenting clashes escalate fast in Managing Nieces Behavior: A Family Dilemma Unfolds.