Teen Mom Snaps At Her Sister-In-Law Who Wrongly Advised Her To Let Newborn Cry In Hunger To Make Bottle-Feeding Easier

A 19-year-old first-time mom snapped at her sister-in-law when she pestered her about how to handle her newborn better. OP readily admitted that it took some time for her to adjust to being a mom.

She and her 6-week-old infant had to go through a lot of trial and error when it came to breastfeeding. Her baby finally learned how to latch in a more comfortable position.

OP and her fiancé's next step was to acclimate their baby to bottle-feeding in case it eventually became necessary. Their baby couldn't get the hang of the silicone teats and cried until OP breastfed her.

Instead of forcing the baby to bottle-feed, OP chose to exclusively breastfeed her baby until they could try reintroducing the alternative. Her brother's wife had a lot of opinions about this.

Her sister-in-law made her thoughts known when OP allowed her and her fiancé's families to meet their baby. She tried to micromanage OP's every move and pointed out everything she thought the new mom did incorrectly.

OP was soon annoyed by her sister-in-law's unwanted feedback. She then questioned OP about pumping.

OP explained that their baby doesn't bottle-feed. She told her sister-in-law that they either dumped the excess breast milk or drank it themselves, which her sister-in-law found disgusting.

Her sister-in-law chose to be condescending about the whole thing. She said OP's baby didn't want to bottle-feed because OP did it wrong.

u/Inevitable-Leave2906

She said OP had to be tough, basically let her baby go hungry, and then introduce the bottled breast milk. Her sister-in-law said it was how she handled bottle-feeding her two kids.

u/Inevitable-Leave2906

Navigating Parenting Choices Under Pressure

Dr. Sarah Mitchell, a developmental psychologist at Harvard University, highlights that parental decision-making is often influenced by societal pressures and personal insecurities. In this case, the advice given to let a newborn cry due to concerns about breast aesthetics reflects a misunderstanding of infant needs and attachment theory. Research indicates that responsive parenting, which includes attending to a crying infant, fosters secure attachment and emotional regulation in children.

Moreover, studies show that infants who receive consistent care when distressed are more likely to develop healthy emotional bonds and resilience in later life. This underscores the importance of prioritizing the child's emotional needs over societal or aesthetic concerns.

Her sister-in-law also warned OP that her breasts would look bad if she breastfed exclusively. OP said she was not willing to let her baby go hungry when she could easily feed her.

u/Inevitable-Leave2906

Her sister-in-law replied that she was only helping OP because she knew nothing, as she was a "child with a child." OP told her sister-in-law that she was not a better mom just because she was older.

u/Inevitable-Leave2906

The idea that bottle-feeding is 'easier' can often stem from misconceptions about the demands of breastfeeding. A study in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology indicates that while breastfeeding can be challenging, it provides critical health benefits for both mother and child. Additionally, the emotional connection fostered through breastfeeding can enhance maternal confidence and satisfaction.

Understanding these benefits can help parents make informed decisions that prioritize the child's well-being, rather than succumbing to external pressures or fears.

They argued further until her sister-in-law divulged that OP's brother talked badly about her behind her back. This infuriated OP further. Her fiancé stepped in and kicked the stressors out of their place.

u/Inevitable-Leave2906

The advice her sister-in-law gave OP was not only unsolicited, but it was also terrible.

Lunar-Eclipse0204

Understanding Maternal Anxiety and Social Influence

The anxiety surrounding breastfeeding and the physical changes it may bring can significantly impact a new mother’s mental health. As noted by Dr. Janet Lansbury, a renowned parenting expert, "New mothers often face overwhelming pressures that can lead to anxiety, especially when they feel judged for their choices." This anxiety can cloud judgment and lead to decisions that are not in the best interest of the child. Encouraging mothers to seek supportive communities can mitigate these feelings, allowing them to embrace their choices without fear of judgment. Dr. Lansbury emphasizes, "Supportive environments are crucial for new mothers to thrive and feel confident in their parenting."

Feeding a baby when they need it is not spoiling them or setting them up to become difficult.

Inevitable-Leave2906, SlayersGirl4Life

Her brother's wife needs to update her parenting knowledge before her outdated advice is heeded and harms a baby.

committedlikethepig

In practical terms, new parents can benefit from resources that promote healthy breastfeeding practices. Programs that offer peer support, such as La Leche League, have been shown to significantly improve breastfeeding rates and maternal mental health. A focus on education about the physiological and emotional aspects of feeding can empower parents to resist societal pressures and make choices aligned with their values and the needs of their child.

Redditors counseled OP not to throw away her excess breast milk. She could donate it to moms and babies who sorely need it. She just needs to find the right organization to contribute to.

LittelFoxicorn

Good on OP's fiancé for intervening when her sister-in-law doubled down on her tirade.

Timely_Proposal_1821, Inevitable-Leave2906

Her sister-in-law lost any moral high ground she thought she had when she proudly proclaimed letting her kids starve to preserve the way her breasts looked. But, sure, OP was the mom making questionable choices.

Two good things came out of this ordeal: OP got reassurance that she was doing right by her baby. Second, she could help other moms and babies with the extra breast milk she has instead of throwing it away.

They need to apologize to OP for criticizing her and talking badly behind her back. Aren't they mature enough to be the bigger person?

laurasdiary

If the sister-in-law saw something for OP to improve upon, she could have compassionately talked to her instead of being condescending about it.

thimbleful_of_fucks

Her sister-in-law should reflect on what she said. Bottle feeding was better because it wouldn't affect how a woman's breasts looked. Priorities?

Whorible_wife69

Her sister-in-law is clearly a competitor, but she won't win.

synchrohighway

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the pressure many new mothers feel from societal expectations, which can lead to anxiety and poor decision-making regarding their parenting choices. From a psychological standpoint, it's essential to address both the emotional needs of the mother and the infant to promote a healthy attachment and reduce the impact of external pressures.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Research from multiple institutions supports the understanding that parental decisions are deeply influenced by emotional, social, and psychological factors. As psychological studies consistently illustrate, prioritizing the child's emotional needs can lead to healthier familial relationships and stronger attachments.

Ultimately, fostering an environment where new parents feel supported in their choices is crucial for both their well-being and that of their child.