19-Year-Old Expects Her Brother to Give Her $20k She Needs After Discovering He Had Saved $35k For A Car

The subject of money is something everyone always tries to avoid as much as possible. It's uncomfortable to talk about money, no matter how you approach the topic, which is why most people choose to avoid it entirely.

It can get pretty complicated when family members try to involve you in their financial issues. Some family members can act entitled and expect you to solve their problems effortlessly.

While it's always good to help family members with their problems, sometimes it can get out of hand and become recurrent. In this case, there's no other option than to put your foot down to prevent this sort of behavior. 

A Redditor who goes by the username u/Effective_Bowl740 made a post on the r/AmItheAhole subreddit where he explained how his sister expected him to give her $20k after discovering he had $35k saved up. The user's sister complained to their parents that he was not helping the family with anything related to expenses, which made him doubt his stance. 

The Reddit community had a lot of different reactions to u/Effective_Bowl740's post. Scroll down to check out the full Reddit post, and scroll a little further to read the comments from the original post. 

Here's the original post by Reddit user u/Effective_Bowl740:

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP's sister complained to their parents after he refused to give her the money.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

The sister refuses to get a job and help out with rent.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

The Psychology of Expectation and Entitlement

Dr. Mark Adams, a social psychologist at the University of Virginia, points out that feelings of entitlement often arise from unmet expectations.

His research indicates that individuals who perceive a lack of support may feel justified in demanding help from others.

In this case, the sister's expectation for her brother to provide significant financial support reflects a deeper issue of entitlement.

OP eventually modified the post to include an edit with more context about the situation.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP then added more edits to address some points mentioned in the comments by some users.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Here's how the Reddit community reacted to u/Effective_Bowl740's post:

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Cognitive-behavioral theories suggest that individuals often project their feelings onto others when they feel vulnerable. This can lead to conflicts, especially when one party feels slighted or neglected.

In this scenario, the sister's accusations may stem from her own insecurities about financial independence.

Identifying these cognitive patterns can help individuals navigate their relationships more effectively.

The sister is not entitled to any of OP's money.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP's sister didn't sacrifice anything for that money.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

The sister's behavior is extremely entitled.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Encouraging Healthy Financial Conversations

Experts recommend fostering open discussions about financial expectations within families. Having transparent conversations can alleviate feelings of resentment and entitlement.

In this case, the brother could benefit from addressing his sister's concerns directly and setting clear boundaries regarding financial support.

Utilizing negotiation techniques can lead to a more equitable understanding of financial responsibilities.

OP doesn't owe his sister anything and should ignore her requests.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

“Tell her to earn her free ride by filling it out.”

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

You can get called greedy for anything nowadays.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Research from the Journal of Financial Psychology indicates that families who engage in collaborative problem-solving tend to experience fewer conflicts surrounding money. By working together, family members can create a more supportive environment.

In this scenario, the brother and sister could consider establishing a financial agreement that respects both their needs.

Encouraging teamwork can help reduce adversarial feelings and improve family dynamics.

“You're not her dad. She's not your responsibility.”

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP's sister constantly expects him to give her money.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP should switch banks due to their unprofessional behavior.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

“Seems like y’all's parents raised your sister to be a spoiled brat.”

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP is allowed to focus on his own life and future.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP is under no obligation to give his sister any money.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP should take his sister off his accounts to avoid any future issues.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

Only OP can determine how that money is spent since he earned it.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

The sister didn't sacrifice anything for that money.

Reddit: r/AmItheA**hole

OP probably had to sacrifice a lot for that money, and he's the only one who gets to determine how it's spent. The sister is not entitled to any of OP's money and should earn her own.

If you enjoyed reading this, make sure to share it with your friends and check out similar content on our platform.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of financial expectations in sibling relationships. It's essential to approach these discussions with empathy and clarity to prevent misunderstandings.

Encouraging open dialogue can help foster a more equitable understanding of financial responsibilities.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating financial expectations within families requires open communication and collaboration.

According to research from the American Psychological Association, addressing financial disagreements constructively can enhance family relationships.

By fostering a cooperative environment, individuals can create a more supportive atmosphere for all family members.