Younger Sister Won't Give Up Her Savings To Bail Out Older Sister But Their Parents Won't Let It Go
She said no once. Her parents have asked a hundred times since.
Living at home as an adult often comes with invisible trade-offs. Privacy feels thinner, personal goals become shared knowledge, and financial choices rarely stay just your own.
For this 24-year-old woman (OP), staying with her parents has been a way to slowly work toward independence. She does not earn much, but over the last few years, she has been disciplined with her goal.
She skipped outings, passed on purchases, and quietly built a savings account meant for one thing only...moving out.
Her family knows she is careful with money, and that reputation is exactly what is causing a rift within her family at the moment.
Her older sister, 29, has struggled financially for a while. After quitting her job last year, she has relied on short-term work that never really stabilized. Bills piled up, stress followed, and eventually, she turned to OP for help.
When she approached OP for a loan, OP made it clear that she had nothing to spare. That should have been the end of it. Instead, her sister casually revealed she had already told their parents that help was coming.
There was no conversation or anything; she just assumed that OP was going to make some money available immediately she asked
From there, the pressure spread. Her sister argued that savings can always be rebuilt. Her parents did not demand anything outright, but their comments carried weight. She is young. Her sister is overwhelmed. Family should step in.
Now the house feels uncomfortable. Her sister barely speaks to her. Guilt sits next to frustration. She wants to be compassionate, but she also feels that her effort and boundaries were dismissed.
The full story below shows how quickly private sacrifices can become public expectations. Read the screenshots and see where you land.
Let’s dig into the details
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OP's sister asked to borrow money to pay some bills, but OP refused since she's saving to move out soon. This got her sister upset, especially since she had already told their parents that OP was going to help her out
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Not only have their parents been putting OP under pressure to lend her sister the money, but her sister has been giving her the silent treatment since the incident
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“Sounds like you need your savings even more so you can move away from these a**eholes.”
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“Then let your parents give her the cash. Your sister is struggling because she is irresponsible.”
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“You said no. As you should. Stick to your guns and don’t give her a penny.”
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“She got herself into this mess, she needs to find her own way out.”
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“NTA. You are young, yes. When you're older saving money becomes harder so it's best to do it now.”
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“Tell your parents that the first line responders in protecting family is parent to child, not sibling to sibling.”
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“If she is bailed out now, she will just keep acting irresponsibly.”
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“It's your money. You aren't responsible for her poor decisions.”
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“Your sister not being able to keep a job and pay her bills is on her. NTA.”
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“You saving isn’t her back up plan and saying no is a firm boundary.”
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One sister is clearly under financial strain, while the other spent years quietly building security for herself. The tension did not come from the refusal alone, but from expectations being set without consent.
It raises questions about whether support should be voluntary or assumed, and how much responsibility family members owe each other when sacrifices are uneven.
Where would you draw the line in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments.
