Redditor Asks If She's An A**hole For Expecting Her 11-Year-Old Sister To Use Her Birthday Money To Replace The Makeup She Damaged

Anyone with younger siblings will tell you that your belongings are never truly safe when they're around. This is especially true when your younger brothers or sisters share similar interests with you.

Reddit user u/anonymous_314159_ shared a recent experience with her sister in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit. The 17-year-old explained that she owns a lot of makeup, which she uses to create content for her social media accounts.

All of her products are in good condition, and she stores them safely in her vanity. The OP has an 11-year-old sister who recently had her birthday.

For her birthday, the OP's sister had some friends over for a slumber party. The Redditor decided to go and stay at her boyfriend's house because she wasn't keen on spending the night with the younger girls.

Before she left, the OP told her sister not to touch any of her things. Her sister asked if she could use a little bit of makeup, so the OP gave her two blushes and an eyeshadow palette to play with, but told her she wasn't allowed to use anything else.

When the OP returned home the next day, she went into her room and found her vanity destroyed. There was makeup smeared on the mirror, powder spilled everywhere, and foundation leaking in the drawers.

When the OP asked her sister about it, she said her friends wanted to use the makeup and that she "wasn't thinking." She had tried to clean it up with a baby wipe, but that was it.

The OP went to her mom and told her that she wanted her sister to pay for the products she damaged. She knew that her sister had enough money because she had received some for her birthday.

But the OP's mom said she should "let it go" since her sister didn't know any better. The Redditor told her mom that if her sister wasn't going to pay, then she wanted her and her dad to pay for it.

The OP's mom said they would "talk about it later." Now the Redditor is wondering if she's the a**hole here.

The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for expecting her sister to use her birthday money to replace her makeup.

Reddit/anonymous_314159_

She explained that she owns a lot of makeup, which she uses to create content for her social media accounts.

The OP has an 11-year-old sister who recently had her birthday.

Exploring Child Development and Responsibility

Research in developmental psychology emphasizes the importance of teaching children accountability for their actions.

According to studies from Yale University, when children are encouraged to take responsibility, they develop a stronger sense of self-efficacy and problem-solving skills.

In this case, expecting the sister to use her birthday money to replace the damaged makeup can be a valuable lesson in accountability.

For her birthday, the OP's sister had some friends over for a slumber party.

The OP told her sister not to touch any of her things.

Her sister asked if she could use a little bit of makeup, so the OP gave her two blushes and an eyeshadow palette to play with, but told her she wasn't allowed to use anything else.

However, the emotional context is also critical. A child's emotional response to accountability can be influenced by their developmental stage, as noted in studies published in the Journal of Child Psychology.

Children around this age may struggle with fully understanding the consequences of their actions, suggesting a need for guided discussions about responsibility.

When the OP returned home the next day, she went into her room and found her vanity destroyed.

There was makeup smeared on the mirror, powder spilled everywhere, and foundation leaking in the drawers.

When the OP asked her sister about it, she said her friends wanted to use the makeup and that she "wasn't thinking."

Balancing Consequences with Empathy

It's essential to balance teaching responsibility with empathy, as highlighted by Dr. Daniel Siegel’s research on emotional regulation in children.

Siegel emphasizes that children must feel understood and supported to process their emotions effectively.

In this situation, while it's important to address the need for accountability, it might also be beneficial to acknowledge the emotional impact of the incident on both siblings.

She had tried to clean it up with a baby wipe, but that was it.

The Redditor went to tell her mom what had happened.

She told her that she wanted her sister to pay for the products she damaged.

Parents can adopt a collaborative approach by involving the child in discussing potential solutions rather than imposing them.

Encouraging problem-solving together can foster a sense of agency and empowerment, making the lesson on responsibility more impactful and less punitive.

But the OP's mom said she should "let it go" since her sister didn't know any better.

The Redditor told her mom that if her sister wasn't going to pay, then she wanted her and her dad to pay for it.

The OP's mom said they would "talk about it later."

Building Emotional Intelligence

Fostering emotional intelligence in children is crucial for their overall development, according to research from Harvard Graduate School of Education.

Teaching children to recognize and express their feelings can help them navigate social situations more effectively, reducing conflict and increasing collaboration.

In this scenario, a discussion about how the sister felt about the incident can be a powerful tool for building emotional understanding.

Now the Redditor is wondering if she's the a**hole here.

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/Lovebug-1055

Okay, but who gives an 11-year-old that much money?

Reddit/angerfulness

"Actions have consequences."

Reddit/MerlinBiggs

It's an important life lesson.

Reddit/ProfPlumDidIt

"Your mom is ridiculous."

Reddit/Emotional_Bonus_934

NTA.

Reddit/expensivebendystraw

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP is overreacting by expecting her sister to replace the makeup, or is it fair since her sister is responsible for ruining it?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights a common challenge in parenting—navigating the balance between teaching responsibility and maintaining emotional connection. Often, children may resist accountability when they feel overwhelmed or unsupported, emphasizing the need for a compassionate approach in teaching life lessons.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, teaching accountability while fostering emotional intelligence is essential in child development.

By balancing responsibility with empathy, parents can guide their children toward becoming more resilient and emotionally competent individuals.