Sister Tries to Sell TV Still Mounted on My Wall - Am I the A-Hole?

A 28-year-old woman refused to treat her sister’s downstairs living room like someone else’s space, and it turned into a full-on family blowup over a TV. The TV was supposed to be “left behind” when she moved out, except she later tried to sell it like it was free real estate.

Here’s the mess: OP, her partner, and their 4-year-old nephew use the 40-inch smart TV every day. Meanwhile, OP has been quietly covering her sister’s financial problems for years, buying her groceries, sleepover extras for her son, and even purchasing a broken iPhone replacement for $200 off Marketplace. Then, during a daytime visit to grab gas money, the sister snapped a photo of the TV and listed it for $100.

At 7pm, strangers were supposedly coming to take the TV, and OP was watching a movie on it.

Original Post

My (30 F) sister (28 F) lived with me in my current house over 2 years ago. She since has moved out.

She left behind some belongings, one of them was a 40” smart TV that she left mounted to the wall of her old bedroom, which is now my downstairs living room. Me and my partner as well as her son, my nephew (4) use it daily.

She has mentioned the TV a few times over the years but never really stressed it. Lately my sister has come into some big financial issues, and needs help.

My boyfriend and I help as much as we can. It’s important to note that nobody else in our family will help my sister with money anymore due to her not paying back small debts.

Therefore I am really the only person who gives her any financial support. Most recently I bought her an iPhone on marketplace for $200 because hers was broken.

I have not asked her to pay me back for this. Also my boyfriend and I constantly buy her groceries, and give her food we buy-but will not eat.

Additionally we buy her son special items whenever he comes over for a sleepover. So the incident happened 2 nights ago.

My sister came over during the day to grab some gas money from my cash stash, so she could take her kids to the water park. Absolutely!

Come get it. While in my house she took the liberty to take a photo of the TV she left behind and post it to Facebook marketplace for $100.

I was not aware of this. At 7pm that night I get a text from her saying that 2 strangers will be at my home shortly to take the TV and asked me to collect the $100 for her.

Mind you. My partner and I were actively watching a movie on that TV.

I. Was .

Livid. I called her and gave her a piece of my mind.

Called her shady, said she was disrespectful and delusional if she thought that behaviour was acceptable or normal in any way. I said it was bonkers for her to believe she could just do that without talking to me.

She doubled down and reminded me it was her TV and I didn’t have a say. She even went so far as to say I “clearly couldn’t care less about my nephews” and that I was more concerned about my own “convenience”.

Eventually after some back and fourth I had my BF send her $85 and told her we would be keeping the TV. She hasn’t spoken with me since.

So I am wondering AITA? Update.

Thanks all for your input and feedback about this situation. Everyone has helped put this in perspective for me.

I might not have been TA in this situation , but I am certainly not doing myself or my sister any favours by continuing to allow her to use me. I will be working on my enabling behaviours.

For anyone who likes drama - she came by my house today and we had the worst fight of our relationship. It will be rocky at best moving forward.

She was not willing to accept any criticism and stays firm that I am just a cold evil person and I called her aweful things for trying to sell “her TV”. I mean she absolutely saw no fault in what she did and how she did it.

I’m done trying to convince her otherwise. My heart hurts not for her and I -but at the idea I may see less of my nephews.

I will stay strong and be better at setting healthy boundaries moving forward. Thank you.

This situation highlights the vital role of boundaries within family dynamics.

Comment from u/Aggravating-Pie-1639

Comment from u/Outrageous-Arm1945

From a social psychology viewpoint, the sister's actions may illustrate the phenomenon known as 'diffusion of responsibility.' This concept suggests that individuals often feel less accountable for their actions when they are in a group setting or within a familial context. In such situations, the presence of others can dilute personal responsibility, leading to a sense of complacency.

Research shows that this diffusion can result in ethical lapses, as individuals may mistakenly assume that others will take the initiative to intervene or act. This psychological phenomenon can create a dangerous cycle where inaction becomes the norm, and moral obligations are overlooked. Understanding this concept can help the user recognize that their sister's behavior might stem from a broader psychological trend rather than being purely a result of malicious intent or a lack of care.

Comment from u/WabbitCZEN

Comment from u/ilovefireengines

OP’s sister showed up to grab gas money, then immediately turned around and posted the 40-inch TV to Facebook Marketplace for $100 without even mentioning it.

Expectations play a significant role in interpersonal relationships, particularly among family members. These expectations often stem from a combination of shared experiences, cultural norms, and personal values that individuals hold dear. The user likely had certain assumptions regarding their sister's conduct based on these factors, which can create a framework for how they perceive and interact with one another.

When these expectations are not met, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, and even conflict. Such emotional responses are common when individuals feel that their needs or desires are overlooked. Therefore, it is essential to communicate expectations clearly and openly to avoid misunderstandings in the future. By fostering a dialogue about what each party hopes for in the relationship, family members can build stronger connections and navigate their differences more effectively.

Comment from u/Flat-Replacement4828

Comment from u/icecreampenis

The breach of trust in this scenario can have long-lasting effects on the sibling relationship, potentially altering the dynamics for years to come. When trust is compromised, it often leads to feelings of betrayal and resentment, which can further complicate interactions between siblings.

To mitigate this challenging situation, both parties should engage in honest conversations about their feelings and expectations. Open dialogue allows for an opportunity to express grievances and fosters a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives. By actively listening and validating each other's emotions, siblings can work together to restore trust and rebuild their relationship, ultimately leading to a stronger bond than before.

Comment from u/bill-schick

Comment from u/dcott29

That 7pm text about “two strangers” coming to remove the TV hit while OP and her partner were actively using it, which is where the anger went nuclear.

This is the same kind of scheduling standoff as the Reddit user battling a night watch leader over splitting the Daylight Saving hour.

Effective communication is crucial in resolving conflicts, particularly within family dynamics where emotions can often run high.

Comment from u/kiwimuz

Comment from u/TogarSucks

Considering developmental psychology, the sister's behavior could reflect her stage of moral development. If she operates at a more egocentric level, she may struggle to see the perspective of others. This limited viewpoint can lead her to make decisions that disregard the rights and feelings of family members, resulting in actions that may seem selfish or inconsiderate.

Understanding where she might be in this developmental framework can significantly inform how the user approaches the conversation about the incident. By recognizing the cognitive and emotional stages she may be experiencing, the user can tailor their communication in a way that fosters empathy and encourages growth. This approach not only helps in addressing the immediate issue but also supports the sister's moral development in the long run.

Comment from u/Decipher

Comment from u/rathmira

OP called her sister out for being shady and disrespectful, but the sister doubled down, insisting it was her TV and OP had “no say.”

It's crucial to foster an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns regarding personal items.

Comment from u/XRaiderV1

Comment from u/Taisiecat

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Comment from u/Soft_Ad472

Comment from u/JeanSchlemaan

Comment from u/Irish_lady_Sheanan

Comment from u/No-Order1269

Comment from u/3xlduck

Comment from u/LdiJ46

This situation reveals a complex interplay of boundaries and trust, as the user's sister attempts to sell a TV that was left behind, arguably disregarding the user's ownership and feelings. The act of selling an item still mounted on the wall underscores a blatant lack of communication and respect for personal space. By addressing these issues openly, both parties may find a pathway to reconciliation, fostering a more empathetic understanding of each other's perspectives.

Nobody wants to be the one paying the bills while also getting treated like a landlord who doesn’t get to have an opinion.

For a similar “helping goes wrong” fight, see the neighbor who returned damaged tools after you refused to lend again.