Smoker Clashes With Entitled Couple Who Ask Him Not To Smoke Despite Being In Smoking Designated Area, Pub Manager Takes His Side

People with a strong sense of entitlement often believe they should get what they want simply because of who they are, not for reasons most people would find fair. They tend to think they deserve more than others, even if they aren’t actually better or more deserving.

In today's post, we'll take a look at a story of a smoker's encounter with an entitled couple. He shared his story with the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit.

The original poster (OP) tells the community that he went to a pub to get some work done outside. He sat in a smoking area.

Soon, the pub started to fill up with people enjoying their meals and post-work drinks, and a couple and their parents sat down in the same smoking area. The couple began asking everyone nearby if they wouldn’t mind not smoking, as the woman was pregnant.

OP, who was focused on his project with headphones on and smoking a cigarette, didn’t hear the initial request. Eventually, the couple tapped him on the shoulder and asked him directly to stop smoking.

OP apologized but pointed out that they were in a designated smoking area and suggested they could sit anywhere else—inside or in the non-smoking area. The couple became upset, insisting they had just as much right to sit there, and demanded he stop smoking.

When OP refused, they called a shift manager over, who reaffirmed that it was a smoking area and that they could sit elsewhere. The couple then called the pub manager, who ended up giving them complimentary drinks to appease them.

The OP asks:

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The OP was doing some work in a pub when it all happened.

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The Psychology of Conflict in Public Spaces

This clash between the smoker and the couple reflects broader social dynamics around personal freedoms and communal norms. According to urban psychology, public spaces often become arenas for negotiating personal boundaries and social acceptability.

Research shows that conflicts in such settings can escalate quickly, as individuals feel their personal rights are being infringed upon. The smoker's insistence on his right to smoke highlights the tension between individual choice and collective well-being.

A man and a pregnant woman and their parents chose to sit in a smoking area of the pub.

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They asked the OP to stop smoking, but he refused because he was in a designated smoking area.

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Social psychologists have found that environmental cues, such as designated smoking areas, can influence perceptions of acceptability. A study in the Journal of Environmental Psychology revealed that individuals often feel more justified in their actions when in compliance with established norms, leading to heightened defensiveness when challenged.

This dynamic can create a feedback loop where both sides become entrenched in their positions, making resolution more challenging.

The entitled couple then tried to make him stop smoking by asking the shift manager.

It didn't work because the OP was in the right.

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The pub manager then gave them complimentary drinks in an effort to appease them.

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Navigating Public Disagreements Effectively

To address similar conflicts, experts recommend employing de-escalation techniques, such as acknowledging the other party's perspective while calmly asserting one’s own. For instance, the smoker might express understanding of the couple's discomfort while reaffirming his right to enjoy smoking in a designated area.

Research indicates that empathy can diffuse tension in conflict situations, allowing for more productive dialogue and potential compromises.

Even people who hated the smell of cigarette smoke sided with the OP.

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The pregnant woman should know better than to sit in a smoking area when there's a non-smoking area available.

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This is clearly entitled behavior from the couple. Despite the woman being pregnant, she and her husband expected people in the designated smoking area of a pub to stop smoking for them.

They need to realize that the woman’s pregnancy doesn’t mean the world will bow down to them. Even the pub managers recognized who was in the right.

They should have chosen to dine elsewhere rather than expect smokers to stop smoking in a smoking area.

People who are against smoking also took the OP's side.

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The OP has every right to stay in his seat and smoke because he was following the rules.

The couple should have been the ones to move to a non-smoking area.

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It's also beneficial for individuals to reflect on their emotional responses during public disputes. Cognitive-behavioral strategies can help individuals identify triggers that lead to strong emotional reactions, enabling them to approach conflicts with greater awareness and composure.

Practicing mindfulness techniques, for example, can aid in maintaining emotional regulation, which is crucial for constructive conflict resolution in public spaces.

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the complexity of human behavior in public settings, where personal freedoms often clash with social norms. It's common for individuals to become emotionally charged when their rights are challenged, making it essential to approach such conflicts with empathy and a willingness to understand differing perspectives.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Public conflicts often reveal deeper societal issues around rights and responsibilities. As noted by Dr. Daniel Goleman, an emotional intelligence expert, "Understanding our emotions and those of others can significantly improve our interactions in shared spaces." Addressing the underlying psychological principles can lead to more harmonious interactions, as highlighted on his professional website, where he discusses the importance of empathy in conflict resolution.