Parent Struggles With Son's Declining Work Ethic And Unwillingness To Work Longer Shifts

In a recent Reddit story, a parent finds himself in a challenging situation with his recently graduated son. The son has just completed college and moved back home, rent-free, while he looks for a job in his field.

Despite his impressive academic achievements, including graduating cum laude with a STEM degree, the son is working as a server at a safari café in a local zoo. The parent had hoped to provide a supportive environment for his son to save money before moving out, but tensions are rising due to the son's attitude toward his job.

The son's work ethic seems to have declined after leaving college. He frequently complains about minor issues at his job and appears to do just enough to get by.

His complaints range from the number of hours he works (less than 40 a week), the heat outside, and the absence of lunch breaks in a restaurant setting. The breaking point came when his manager scheduled him to work 12 days straight, a decision made to compensate for staff shortages caused by some servers returning to college.

The parent attempted to offer a positive perspective, pointing out that the extended work hours would result in overtime pay and more opportunities for tips. He reminded his son that he spends most of his weekends playing video games and suggested that making extra money might be more beneficial.

However, the son resisted, expressing his desire for weekends and stating his intention to speak to his manager about the schedule. Tensions escalated as the parent labeled his son a "spoiled brat" who was avoiding extra work.

He recounted his own experiences of working grueling hours during military service to emphasize his point. The son walked away from the conversation, and the next day, his sister contacted the parent, urging him to apologize for his words.

The parent, however, remained firm in his stance, suggesting that if the son felt wronged, he should approach him for an apology.

OP's college graduate son lives with OP rent-free as he searches for a job and seems unhappy with his current job as a server at a zoo café.

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He frequently returns home upset, often due to minor problems. Recently, he was upset because his manager scheduled him to work 12 days in a row due to staffing shortages.

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OP's son wanted to talk to his manager about not working 12 days in a row. The user suggested he continue for the extra money, as the job isn't too serious yet.

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Understanding Work Ethic and Motivation

Declining work ethic among young adults can often be linked to broader societal changes and shifting values. Dr. Henry Lawson, an organizational psychologist, notes that younger generations are increasingly prioritizing work-life balance over traditional notions of job loyalty and commitment. Research indicates that this generational shift can lead to misunderstandings between parents and their children regarding work expectations.

Understanding these generational differences is crucial for parents as they navigate their child's evolving attitudes toward work.

OP's sister called, saying he was upset about OP's comment.

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OP is wrong for judging his son when he's simply venting about his work.

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OP should try working in food or customer service and see if it's not hard work.

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The concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation plays a significant role in this discussion. According to research in the field of psychology, individuals who derive motivation from intrinsic sources—such as personal satisfaction and fulfillment—are more likely to exhibit a strong work ethic. In contrast, those who are primarily motivated by extrinsic rewards, such as money or recognition, may struggle with commitment to their roles.

Parents should explore the underlying motivations driving their child's work ethic to foster a deeper understanding.

Calling him out for not working and just having a job is unkind.

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OP is in the wrong.

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He's not in the military; he simply needs a break after working.

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Strategies for Encouraging Work Ethic

To encourage a stronger work ethic, parents can focus on promoting intrinsic motivation by helping their children connect personal interests with career aspirations. Research from the Journal of Educational Psychology emphasizes the importance of aligning personal passions with work, leading to greater satisfaction and commitment.

Engaging in discussions about the value of hard work and the satisfaction derived from completing tasks can help instill a sense of responsibility and pride in one’s efforts.

If OP thinks it's that simple, he should apply for a server job.

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It's frustrating when people like OP belittle those in jobs they consider less important and make them feel bad due to their prejudice.

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Nobody likes working 12 days in a row; it's tough.

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Additionally, setting realistic expectations and providing opportunities for independence can empower young adults to develop their work ethic. Encouraging responsibilities, such as part-time jobs or volunteer work, can offer valuable life experiences that promote accountability. Research shows that hands-on experiences can significantly enhance motivation and commitment to work.

By fostering a sense of ownership over their choices, parents can help their children cultivate a stronger work ethic.

The situation in this story is more complicated than it seems at first. Nobody likes working 12 days in a row, and it's important to understand that all jobs can be tough, no matter what they are.

The parent's view that his son is just "having a job" doesn't take into account how difficult it can be to work in roles like serving food or dealing with customers. These jobs can be physically and emotionally challenging, and it's hard to understand until you've done them yourself.

It's a good idea for the parent to try to see things from his son's perspective, understand the problems he faces at work, and be more understanding and supportive. Being quick to judge and dismiss other people's struggles doesn't foster a healthy family relationship or provide a kind way to view the different difficulties people face in their jobs.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the complexities of motivating young adults in today's changing work landscape. It's essential for parents to engage in open conversations about work values and support their children in finding intrinsic motivation to foster a stronger work ethic.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing declining work ethic among young adults involves understanding the psychological factors at play. Research consistently highlights the importance of intrinsic motivation and generational shifts in work values.

By fostering a supportive environment that encourages responsibility and aligns personal interests with career goals, parents can help their children develop a stronger commitment to their work.