Mother Gets Schooled By Reddit After Complaining About Her 11-Year-Old Son Eating His Dad's Expensive Food Leftovers

We all know that growing boys eat a lot! So, as a parent, how do you decide how much is too much (or too expensive) for your rapidly growing young man to eat freely?

Recently, Reddit user u/Outside_Stomach_877 posted a story in the AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit about her 11-year-old son, Adam. The original poster explained that Adam loves food!

The Redditor stated she has never worried about Adam's food intake, as he isn't gaining weight or eating unhealthy foods. She mentioned that she usually cooks meals each day with enough leftovers for everyone to enjoy.

She explained that her husband likes to go out to eat at a bar once a week for some "comfort food." The "rule" is that if he brings leftovers home, they are his only and are off-limits to everyone else.

However, the Reddit user says that Adam often breaks that rule, which makes her husband angry. She noted that sometimes he screams and curses at Adam if he comes home to find his leftovers gone.

The OP says her husband told her she needs to teach Adam some respect, or he will do it for her. The Redditor has told her son not to eat the food because she doesn't want to "put up with his father's hissy fit," but Adam won't listen.

The OP mentions that Adam complains that it's not fair his dad gets to eat steak and ribs when he isn't allowed to. However, the Redditor insists it's "too expensive."

Later, the OP edited her post to clarify that her husband does not beat his son in any way; he "just yells" and "takes privileges." Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The OP shared a story about her 11-year-old son, Adam.

Reddit/Outside_Stomach_877

She explained that her husband likes to go out to eat at a bar once a week for some "comfort food." The "rule" is that if he brings leftovers home, they are his only and are off-limits to everyone else.

Reddit/Outside_Stomach_877

But the Reddit user says that Adam often breaks that rule, which makes her husband angry.

Reddit/Outside_Stomach_877

The Psychology of Food and Ownership

Food can be a powerful symbol of belonging and ownership, especially in family dynamics. Dr. Rachel K. Lewis, a clinical psychologist, notes that conflicts over food often reflect deeper issues of control and security. Her research indicates that children may perceive food as a way to assert their autonomy, particularly in situations where they feel powerless.

According to a study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, children often develop emotional attachments to food as a source of comfort and familiarity. When these attachments are threatened, it can lead to significant emotional responses, including anger and resentment.

The OP says that Adam complains that it's not fair his dad gets to eat steak and ribs when he isn't allowed to. However, the Redditor insists it's "too expensive."

Reddit/Outside_Stomach_877

So, she asked the Reddit community if she is the a**hole.

Reddit/Outside_Stomach_877

Later, the OP edited her post to clarify that her husband does not beat his son in any way; he "just yells" and "takes privileges."

Reddit/Outside_Stomach_877

Addressing conflicts over food ownership requires a nuanced understanding of children's emotional needs. Families can benefit from establishing clear guidelines about food sharing and ownership while also considering children's feelings. Engaging children in discussions about these topics can foster a sense of fairness and inclusion.

Research shows that when children feel involved in decision-making, they are more likely to adhere to family rules and feel respected within the family structure. This approach aligns with the principles of positive parenting, which emphasize mutual respect and understanding.

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/SnooChocolates6008

"I feel sorry for your son."

Reddit/Jmm1272

"Stick up for your kid."

Reddit/Old-Specific3276

Emotional Attachments and Family Dynamics

Emotional attachments can greatly influence family interactions, especially concerning food. Dr. Laura J. Finch, a family therapist, explains that children often develop strong emotional connections to certain foods, particularly those associated with positive memories. These attachments can complicate sharing dynamics, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.

To navigate these complexities, families can create opportunities for shared cooking experiences. Dr. Finch's research indicates that cooking together can enhance emotional bonds and create positive associations with food sharing, fostering a collaborative family spirit.

"It is abuse."

Reddit/Here_for_tea_

"You and your husband both need to work on your parenting skills."

Reddit/HopelessSemantic

"You are allowing abuse to your child."

Reddit/Efficient-Cupcake247

"Your husband sounds selfish and cruel."

Reddit/jkshfjlsksha

"He is ELEVEN!"

Reddit/Fakenowinnit

"You and your husband are both the AH's."

Reddit/stseomfs

"The prelude of an eating disorder."

Reddit/saclayson

"That's some real BS!"

Reddit/Anteater3100

"They're probably not getting enough to eat."

Reddit/Prudent-Warthog-2085

"There's clearly a disconnect."

Reddit/Katastrophic82

"Being yelled at is abuse."

Reddit/Double_Spinach_3237

Hope he can afford therapy!

Reddit/ihatehavingtosignin

Okay, but is he getting enough to eat?

Reddit/SnooSprouts6712

"Screaming and yelling is a form of abuse too."

Reddit/Ancient-Transition-4

"YTA for letting this go on."

Reddit/bulletPoint

"He needs food."

Reddit/Bunnawhat13

"Massive YTA."

Reddit/Adventurous-Guru82

What's your take on this situation? Do you think the OP should stand up for her son more, or is she right for not allowing Adam to eat his father's food?

Either way, it's important to remember that Adam is just 11 years old. He's a child and should be treated as such.

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the intricate relationship between food, ownership, and emotional security within families. Conflicts over food often signal deeper emotional needs and desires for control. As psychologists, we recommend prioritizing open discussions about feelings and fostering collaborative experiences around food to enhance family dynamics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, understanding the psychological aspects of food ownership in families is essential for resolving conflicts. Research consistently supports the idea that fostering open communication and shared experiences can mitigate feelings of resentment. By prioritizing emotional connections, families can strengthen their bonds and create a more harmonious environment.