Woman Stops Feeding Hoarder Brother-In-Law After He Clutters Her New Estate With Junk Vehicles And Boats

Living with family can often be a double-edged sword, especially when boundaries are crossed. In this case, a woman generously offered her brother-in-law a place to stay to help him out of a tough situation.

He was homeless due to his hoarding habits, which had led to his previous home being condemned. Understanding his situation, she and her husband provided him a shed on their property under one clear condition: no hoarding.

However, despite her kindness, the brother-in-law started filling their beautiful, spacious yard with broken vehicles and boats, blatantly ignoring the agreement. This situation puts the woman in a tough spot. She's been incredibly supportive, feeding and clothing him, all while her husband is frequently away.

But when her brother-in-law continued to disrespect her rules and then responded with unkind words when confronted, it became too much.

Feeling unappreciated and disrespected, she decided to withdraw her extra support, including meals. It's a tough decision that highlights a common dilemma: when is enough really enough?

In relationships, especially with family, it’s crucial to maintain respect and gratitude. Without these, even the most generous gestures can become sources of resentment.

This story exemplifies the strain that can occur when generosity is taken for granted and boundaries are repeatedly ignored.

Just take a look at this...

OP let her homeless brother-in-law stay in a shed on their property, but now she's reconsidering being kind to him.

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Her hoarder brother-in-law ignored the rule of not bringing his stuff to her house, filling her property with broken items over two years.

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Understanding Hoarding Behavior

Hoarding behaviors can often be traced back to deeper psychological issues, such as anxiety or trauma.

Research from the University of Pennsylvania indicates that individuals with hoarding tendencies might struggle with decision-making and emotional regulation.

These behaviors can lead to significant interpersonal strain, particularly in familial relationships where shared spaces are impacted.

She confronted him, but her brother-in-law got angry, despite her past support.

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She stopped caring for her husband's brother after he kept bringing more belongings to her house, prompting her to question her actions.

Scroll down to see what people had to say...

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Hoarding is not just about collecting; it often stems from a need to feel secure and safe, which is why it can be particularly challenging for family members.

According to the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, individuals with hoarding disorder often report high levels of distress when faced with the idea of discarding items.

This emotional attachment can make it difficult for families to intervene effectively, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness.

NTA. He's a pro at collecting junk; maybe he should start foraging for meals too.

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Husband's more worried about clutter than feelings; brother-in-law's king now.

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The Importance of Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential in situations involving a family member with hoarding tendencies.

Therapists recommend establishing clear limits around acceptable behaviors and the use of shared spaces.

By doing so, families can create a structured environment that encourages the hoarder to seek help while also protecting their own mental health.

NTA. Home sweet home, not a junkyard. If he's so attached to the clutter, maybe it's time he found a new address.

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NTA. Time to lawyer up. Husband's "elder respect" seems a bit lopsided.

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Communication is also key; family members should express their concerns in a compassionate manner.

Using 'I' statements can help reduce defensiveness, such as, 'I feel overwhelmed by the clutter and would like to find a solution together.'

Engaging in family therapy might also provide a safe space to discuss these issues and work toward resolutions collaboratively.

NTA. Hosting a hoarder who keeps adding to the clutter? It's baffling why her husband isn't bothered by this too.

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Two culprits: BIL (maybe mental illness) and hubby (no excuses). Time to kick BIL out and get hubby in line.

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Research on Support Systems

Support systems play a vital role in helping individuals with hoarding behaviors change their patterns.

Studies show that when family members are involved in the therapeutic process, outcomes are often improved.

According to research published in Clinical Psychology Review, collaborative approaches that include family members can foster accountability and motivation for change.

Nope. First junk, she'd say, "Nope!" Now it's a mess, with hubby enabling. Time for an ultimatum: him or her.

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Give hubby and bro a 15-day ultimatum: clear the junk or face the salvage company's wrath.

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It's also important to approach the situation with empathy; understanding the emotional drivers behind hoarding can lead to more effective support.

Education about the psychological aspects of hoarding can equip family members with tools to help their loved one without enabling the behavior.

Encouraging the individual to seek professional help is critical, as hoarding can be a complex issue requiring specialized treatment.

OP, hoarding's no joke. Check local laws; BIL might bring fines, not just stuff.

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Looks like it's time for an ultimatum with hubby if those restrictions apply—rats, roaches, and fines aren't exactly curb appeal.

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Practical Steps for Family Members

One practical step family members can take is to research local resources for hoarding disorder treatment.

Support groups, both for hoarders and their families, can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

Additionally, involving a professional organizer who understands hoarding can ease the burden of decluttering while respecting the individual's emotional needs.

"Just watch the hoarding show."

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BIL's stuck with mental illness—no magic fix. Hubby needs a reality check; seems he's in denial, just like bro.

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Sometimes, the hardest part of being generous isn't opening your home—it's closing it when gratitude turns into entitlement. As for dinner invitations, they're much like boats in the yard: not everything that lands there belongs.

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

If hubby's not got her back, she might as well skip his dinner too.

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Should've stopped hoarder BIL or one vehicle. Hoarders need treatment, or chaos reigns. Guess she's the TA for diving in.

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Lastly, maintaining open lines of communication will help family members navigate this challenging landscape.

Regular check-ins can foster a sense of solidarity and shared purpose in addressing the hoarding behavior.

This collaborative approach can strengthen family bonds while promoting healthier living conditions.

Why the silence as he piled up stuff? Overnight transformation, anyone?

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Seriously, why still married? BIL's situation is a mess; she shouldn't have to deal with it.

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He's mooching while hubby's the cheerleader. No apologies needed; junk out or he's out.

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Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates the difficulty of balancing care and boundaries when dealing with a loved one's hoarding behavior.

It's vital for family members to ensure they protect their own well-being while supporting their loved one in seeking help.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, addressing hoarding behaviors in family members requires a multifaceted approach that combines empathy, communication, and professional support.

Research underscores the importance of understanding the psychological roots of hoarding to foster meaningful change.

By setting clear boundaries and encouraging professional intervention, families can navigate this complex issue more effectively.