Struggling with Brothers Freeloading: AITA for Asking Him to Move Out?

A 29-year-old woman thought she was doing the right thing by letting her 26-year-old brother stay with her after he lost his job. It sounded temporary, like a “we’ll get through this” situation. But a year later, her kindness is starting to feel less like family support and more like a monthly subscription he never cancels.

Now she is dealing with the fallout of late rent payments, including an eviction notice, while her brother spends most days gaming and hanging out with friends. When she pushes for him to get steady employment or at least contribute to rent and bills, he says he’s trying his best. He also flips the script, calling her heartless for asking him to find somewhere else to live.

Here’s the part that makes it messy: she’s not just worried about his feelings, she’s terrified of losing her home too.

Original Post

I (29F) live with my brother (26M) in a two-bedroom apartment. Originally, it was meant to be a temporary arrangement while he got back on his feet after losing his job.

However, it's been over a year, and he still hasn't found steady employment. His lack of contribution to rent and bills is straining my finances, and his messy habits are driving me crazy.

For background, I've been covering all the expenses as he 'looks for work,' but I recently found out he spends most of his days playing video games and going out with friends. When I brought up the topic of him finding a job or contributing financially, he brushed me off, saying he's trying his best.

Things came to a head when I received an eviction notice due to late rent payments. I realized I can't keep carrying him financially, so I asked him to start looking for alternative living arrangements.

He got upset, accusing me of being heartless and abandoning family in need, even though he's the one taking advantage of my kindness. I feel torn between helping my brother and protecting my own financial stability.

Am I the one in the wrong for asking him to leave when he has nowhere to go? I'm worried this decision may strain our relationship even further, but I can't continue supporting him at my own expense.

So AITA?

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This is also like the AITA where a sister asked her brother to contribute to family bills.

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The whole thing starts with what was supposed to be a temporary “get back on your feet” deal that turned into a full year of unpaid rent from her brother.

Once she realizes he’s been gaming all day instead of job hunting, the eviction notice makes her frustration hit a whole new level.

When she finally asks him to move out, he calls her heartless and claims she’s abandoning family in need, despite the bills still not getting paid.

Now she’s stuck between protecting her finances and dealing with the relationship damage that could come from kicking him out before he has a plan.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

He might be happier in a different apartment, and she deserves to stop paying for his “trying.”

Want the sharp take on repeated rent failures, read the AITA where someone asked a freeloading sibling to move out.