Struggling with Partners Emotional Support Cat: AITAH for Wanting to Rehome Mittens?

A 29-year-old woman moved in with her boyfriend and thought it would be smooth sailing, until his emotional support cat, Mittens, started taking over the apartment like she paid rent.

The cat is 14, bonded to him for most of his adult life, and honestly, she has some “special talents”: scratching the furniture, waking them up in the middle of the night with loud meowing, and shedding everywhere. The OP is a dog person, she’s been trying to be patient, but the constant chaos is hitting her mental health hard.

Now she’s asking if she’s the asshole for wanting to rehome Mittens, even though her partner treats the cat like family and comfort.

Original Post

So I (29F) have been dating my partner (32M) for over a year now. When we moved in together six months ago, I was aware that he had an emotional support cat, Mittens.

I'm a dog person and never really understood the whole cat thing, but I respected their bond. Mittens is an older cat, around 14 years old, and has been with my partner for most of his adult life.

However, I've been having issues with Mittens. She constantly scratches the furniture, wakes us up in the middle of the night with her loud meowing, and sheds everywhere.

I've tried to be patient, but it's really starting to affect my mental health. My partner is very attached to Mittens and sees her as his source of comfort and stability, especially since he struggles with anxiety.

I suggested that we rehome Mittens to a loving family where she can have a quieter environment, but my partner got really upset. He sees Mittens as family and doesn't want to part ways with her.

I feel torn between wanting a peaceful living space and respecting my partner's emotional needs. Mittens' behavior is genuinely affecting me, and I'm not sure how to move forward without causing a rift in our relationship.

So, AITAH for considering kicking out Mittens, my partner's emotional support pet?

The Emotional Tug-of-War

This story highlights a classic emotional dilemma: the balance between personal space and the needs of a partner. The OP recognizes the importance of Mittens as an emotional support animal but struggles with the cat's disruptive behavior. It's understandable that the OP feels torn; after all, mental health is as important as emotional support. Yet, the partner's bond with Mittens complicates things further. How do you prioritize your mental well-being without undermining your partner's needs?

As tensions rise, it’s evident that this isn’t just about a cat; it’s about the dynamics of love, support, and how far one should go for the other’s comfort. The community's responses reflect a deep understanding of these emotional layers, leading to spirited debates over where the line should be drawn.

The second they moved in together, Mittens went from “background character” to the main source of chaos for OP’s sleep and sanity.

Comment from u/Rainbow_Dreamer_94

NTA. Your partner's emotional needs are important, but so are yours. Have an open conversation about finding a compromise.

Comment from u/Coffee_Cat_Lover27

YTA. You knew about Mittens before moving in. Pets are a commitment, and kicking her out would be heartless.

Comment from u/PizzaAndDogsRule

NAH. It's a tough situation. Maybe seek the help of a professional trainer to address Mittens' behavior.

Comment from u/sunset_beach19

NTA. Your mental health matters too. Have a serious conversation with your partner about finding a solution that works for both of you.

OP keeps pointing out the scratching, the night meows, and the fur everywhere, while her boyfriend keeps insisting Mittens is his stability.

Comment from u/Freedom_Freebird

ESH. Your partner needs to understand your feelings, but rehoming Mittens should be a last resort. Seek other solutions first.

This echoes the couple’s clash over refusing to declaw their cat, despite their partner’s objections.

Comment from u/RocknRoll_Chick

YTA. You're prioritizing your convenience over your partner's emotional well-being. Pets are family, and you need to find a compromise.

Comment from u/AdventureAhead89

NTA. Your feelings are valid too. Try to find a compromise that respects both your partner's emotional needs and your mental health.

That’s when OP suggests rehoming Mittens to a quieter home, and the boyfriend flips out because he refuses to “part ways” with his family cat.

Comment from u/GuitarNinja_73

ESH. It's a tough situation, but communication is key. Try to work together to find a solution that benefits everyone.

Comment from u/SunnySideUpPancakes

YTA. Pets are a big responsibility, and rehoming should be a last resort. Try to address Mittens' behavior issues before making a drastic decision.

Comment from u/OceanBreezeSurfer

NAH. Both your feelings are valid. Seek a compromise that addresses Mittens' behavior while supporting your partner's emotional needs. Good luck!

With OP feeling mentally worn down and her partner emotionally attached, they’re basically stuck arguing over whether Mittens should stay or go.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

This situation is a microcosm of what many face when merging lives and lifestyles. The OP's frustrations with Mittens’ behavior—like potential litter box issues or nighttime disturbances—are legitimate, yet they must be weighed against the partner's need for emotional support. Here lies the moral grey area: should one partner's comfort take precedence over another's mental health struggles?

The reactions from the Reddit community reveal a split between those advocating for the OP's needs and those who stress the significance of emotional support animals. This dynamic raises crucial questions about responsibility and compromise in relationships, especially when beloved pets are involved. It’s a delicate dance that many can relate to, making this story resonate widely.

The Bottom Line

This story serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities that arise in relationships, especially when pets and emotional support are involved. The OP’s struggle with Mittens isn’t just about a cat's behavior; it’s about navigating love, support, and personal boundaries. How do you think the OP should move forward? Should they prioritize their mental health or find a way to accommodate their partner's needs?

Why This Matters

The situation with Mittens the cat highlights the often fraught balance between individual comfort and the emotional needs of a partner. The OP, who identifies as a dog person, clearly respects her partner’s attachment to Mittens but is understandably overwhelmed by the cat’s disruptive behavior, which affects her mental health. Her suggestion to rehome Mittens reveals the desperation for a peaceful living environment, yet it clashes with her partner's view of the cat as a vital source of stability during his struggles with anxiety. This scenario encapsulates the challenges many couples face when merging their lives and the inevitable conflicts that can arise over shared responsibilities and emotional support.

He might be happier in a different apartment, because Mittens is clearly not going anywhere in this relationship.

Ready for the next pet-versus-principles fight? Read how she refused to declaw their cat. Choosing My Pet Over Partner: AITA for Keeping Our Beloved Pet Against Their Wishes?