He Used The Family’s Stimulus To Pay Off His Wife’s Student Loans — Now She’s Asking, “What About My Shopping Spree?”

When Reddit user u/MiddleClassCash and his wife tied the knot three years ago, they knew they were also marrying into about $50,000 in student loan debt. She had left a communications degree unfinished, and he works in IT with a solid salary, so they created a plan and stuck to it.

They live in a two-bedroom apartment with their toddler and aren’t exactly scraping by. There’s a yoga membership, dinners out, baby clothes without stress, a nanny for errands, college savings contributions, and healthy 401(k) deposits happening every month.

From the start, they made one very clear agreement. Any bonus, tax refund, or surprise money would go straight toward knocking down her student loans.

So when a stimulus check hit their bank account for the whole family, the OP didn’t hesitate. No emergencies, no big purchases on the whiteboard, savings intact — boom, he sent every dollar to the bank to shrink the debt.

His wife later found out after an IRS reminder letter arrived. She wasn’t furious, but she was definitely hurt.

Her argument? The stimulus felt like “special occasion” money, and she thought she deserved her portion to treat herself. The OP reminded her that he used his own share without hesitation and simply followed the plan they both agreed to.

He even suggested she withdraw the same amount from another account if she really wanted it. Now she says he was inconsiderate — and he’s left wondering if sticking to the deal makes him the bad guy.

His wife later found out after an IRS reminder letter arrived. She wasn’t furious, but she was definitely hurt.

AI-generated image

Here’s the original post by Reddit user u/MiddleClassCash.

Hi All, I originally posted this in the relationship subreddit, but was told to post it here. My wife (31) and I (27) have been married three years. We have a two year old daughter. Before when we got engaged, my now wife told me she had about 50k in student loan debt. She had been pursuing a degree in communications, but dropped out. She was working as an assistant manager at a clothes store when we met. She is now a SAHM.I knew that when we got married, her debt became mine, too. Even though I make a good salary (I am in IT), her debt will prevent us from realistically saving for a home for a while (we have a 2 BR apt). We discussed this, and came to an agreement with the bank that we would pay a certain sum every month. The payment isn’t even that bad. We always have a few hundred every month for luxuries, like yoga gym membership for her, some dinners out, we’re not holding back in terms of groceries or clothes for baby, and even a nanny to babysit when wife goes on errands. We also put aside a sum every month for the baby’s college, and I make a good contribution to my 401K every month. **We agreed that whenever I got a bonus at work, or windfall, or tax refund (with a little kid, we get a big refund) whether expected or unexpected, I would 100% pay down her debt with it.**Recently, I got a nice deposit in my account from the IRS, a stimulus for me, wife, and baby. We have a dry erase board where we write all our needs, and erase them as we cover them. We did not have any emergencies, we already have money in savings, so, BOOM. I sent all the new money to the bank to pay the debt. Wife has access to my bank account, but generally doesn’t check statements, just spends as she needs it. I take care of bills.Later, we got a letter from the IRS reminding us we received a stimulus, and mention we got it when doing our taxes. Wife asked about the stimulus and I said I paid her tuition bill with it. She didn’t get mad-mad about it, but is still upset. She says I should have given her her share. I reminded her that I spent my share on her debt without question, and was following our agreement.She says the stimulus is a special occasion and that I owed her to give her her money, that she could have spoiled herself with it. I told her if she feels that way she should just take $1400 from our other accounts, but she says I was inconsiderate. AITA?

Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.

Mathiathon

She should be grateful.

Seemoreifsandsorbuts

Apprehensive-Fan-250

It’s what you agreed upon.

GoldenFrog14

She should be helping with the bills.

traumascares

Must be nice!

-Innovade

NAH.

NoApollonia

She doesn’t get to be angry about this.

officialhannahbanana

You probably should’ve given her a heads up.

Vanman04

She’s already spoiled.

oOo_a_Butterfly

Both sides are valid.

Bee_Albion

You did a great thing!

winree

She’s being selfish.

OverlordPancakes

Money arguments in marriage are rarely just about the dollars — they’re about expectations, fairness, and feeling seen. The OP believed he was doing the responsible thing by sticking to their agreement, while his wife felt a “special occasion” moment slipped through her fingers, leaving them both wondering whether being financially disciplined is enough when someone still feels overlooked.