Redditor Confronts Family For Not Helping Her Out After She Had Surgery, Family Gaslights Her

Once a surgical procedure is over, it's time to recover. You might be eager to resume normalcy as soon as possible.

Depending on the type of surgery you underwent, recovery could take a week to a few months, and you might also experience some postoperative side effects. The treatment you receive after surgery is called "postoperative care."

Your postoperative care requirements are influenced by the kind of surgery you had and your medical background. It continues after you are discharged from the hospital and for the duration of your hospital stay, so it's reasonable to expect that your family will take care of you.

The OP in today's story had surgery with general anesthesia, and during her first week of recovery, she was very weak. She needed six weeks to fully recover, and she expected her family and boyfriend to take care of her, as there wasn't much she could do for herself.

However, she received the complete opposite. Her mom came once to bring her lunch; her aunt did the same thing; her dad called her once to check up on her, and her boyfriend wasn't any help either.

The OP felt bad as her family didn't show any support or help her during those 10 days, so she decided to open up, and they all felt attacked. Read the full story below. 

The Title

u/EastGovernment3361

The OP wouldn't be able to do anything other than sleep, eat, and pee

u/EastGovernment3361

The OP's boyfriend could have easily worked 30 minutes more per day in that month

u/EastGovernment3361

The Effects of Lack of Support on Recovery

The Redditor's experience of feeling unsupported after surgery sheds light on the psychological impacts of perceived abandonment during vulnerable times. Research in health psychology indicates that social support plays a critical role in recovery and emotional resilience. According to a study published in the Journal of Health Psychology, individuals who receive emotional and practical support during recovery tend to have better outcomes and higher levels of satisfaction with their recovery process.

In this case, the lack of support from family can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment, negatively impacting the healing journey.

Exploring Family Dynamics

The experience of feeling unsupported by family following surgery can lead to profound feelings of isolation and abandonment. Research by Dr. Judith Herman emphasizes the importance of social support during recovery, highlighting that emotional and practical assistance from family can significantly influence healing outcomes. In this case, the Redditor's feelings of neglect suggest a breakdown in familial support that can exacerbate feelings of vulnerability during a difficult time.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial, as families often play a key role in our recovery processes.

The OP didn't even have groceries to try to make something to eat

u/EastGovernment3361

Here is what other Redditors had to say about the story

Reddit

They know they could have done better

Reddit

From a relational perspective, the dynamics of family support during times of crisis can significantly influence emotional well-being. Research indicates that family members who engage in supportive behaviors enhance the recipient's ability to cope with stress and adversity. The Redditor's situation exemplifies how failing to provide support can lead to relational fractures and emotional distress.

Understanding these dynamics can help individuals navigate their feelings and seek alternative support structures when needed.

The phenomenon of familial gaslighting can also emerge in these contexts, where family members dismiss or minimize the experiences of their loved ones. A study from Stanford University indicates that such invalidation can lead to feelings of worthlessness and confusion, particularly when individuals are already in a vulnerable state. The Redditor's assertion that their family is not showing support reflects a broader pattern of emotional neglect that can have lasting effects on self-esteem and trust.

Recognizing these patterns is essential for addressing the emotional fallout from such experiences.

You needed someone to come in daily

Reddit

He lives with you and failed in very basic requests

Reddit

Many people only respond to specific directions

Reddit

Coping Strategies for Feelings of Abandonment

To cope with feelings of abandonment and lack of support, individuals can benefit from developing strong self-care routines and seeking external support systems. Research in clinical psychology emphasizes that engaging in self-compassion exercises can foster resilience and emotional regulation. For example, practices such as mindfulness and journaling can help individuals process their feelings and establish a sense of control over their emotional narrative.

Additionally, seeking support from friends, support groups, or mental health professionals can provide validation and understanding during difficult times.

The Importance of Open Communication

Open communication within families is vital for fostering supportive environments. Research from the University of Michigan highlights that families who engage in transparent communication about feelings and needs tend to experience stronger emotional bonds. In this case, the Redditor might benefit from expressing their needs clearly to their family, emphasizing the importance of support during recovery.

This approach can help create a more empathetic atmosphere and encourage family members to respond more positively to their concerns.

You never actually expressed any wishes to be helped

Reddit

Your family has their own stuff to do

Reddit

He is used to you doing everything for him

Reddit

Furthermore, fostering open communication with family members about feelings of neglect can help address underlying issues. Studies show that initiating conversations about emotional needs and expectations can lead to improved family dynamics and healing. Engaging in family therapy may also be a valuable option for addressing dysfunctional patterns and rebuilding trust among family members.

Ultimately, addressing feelings of abandonment requires both individual efforts and family engagement to create a supportive environment.

Furthermore, establishing boundaries within family relationships can protect emotional well-being. According to Dr. Brené Brown, setting boundaries is an act of self-care that allows individuals to prioritize their needs. This may involve communicating specific expectations regarding support during recovery, ensuring that family members understand the kind of assistance that would be most beneficial.

By being proactive about their needs, individuals can foster healthier family dynamics that prioritize emotional well-being.

They have no reason to expect that you need help

Reddit

What this Redditor would do if their child had surgery

Reddit

It doesn't sound like you ever asked for help

Reddit

Seeking External Support

Finally, seeking support outside of the family unit can be vital for emotional healing. Research indicates that engaging with friends, support groups, or mental health professionals can provide essential emotional resources. The Redditor might consider reaching out to peers or therapists who can validate their feelings and offer guidance during recovery.

Building a network of support can help counterbalance familial neglect and enhance overall well-being, providing the emotional nourishment needed to recover from surgery.

This Redditor is telling the OP to leave her boyfriend

Reddit

Did you ask them for any specific type of help?

Reddit

The real AH here is your boyfriend

Reddit

This is what good families do

Reddit

You thought your boyfriend and family would have your back

Reddit

You are not compromising your feelings

Reddit

You could have talked with your family and asked for help

Reddit

All she had to do was say the word

Reddit

Redditors thought that the OP's boyfriend’s behavior should give her a lot to think about regarding her future. This kind of treatment towards the OP won’t change magically later on, and we agree too.

At the end of all the back and forth, the OP received the "Everyone Sucks" verdict. Drop your own thoughts below and share this post to get other people's opinions as well.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the often complex dynamics within families, especially during vulnerable times like recovery. It's essential for individuals to advocate for their needs and seek support when feeling neglected.

Establishing boundaries and engaging in open communication can help foster more supportive familial relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating familial dynamics during recovery requires open communication and self-advocacy. Recognizing patterns of emotional neglect can empower individuals to seek the support they need and foster healthier relationships.

As highlighted in various psychological studies, effective communication and external support are essential components of the healing process.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating feelings of abandonment during recovery can be challenging and requires careful attention to emotional needs. By developing coping strategies and fostering open communication, individuals can work towards rebuilding trust and support within their families.

Ultimately, recognizing the importance of social support in recovery can enhance emotional well-being and healing.