College Student Left Stunned As Mom Announces That She Is 'Released' And Would Henceforth Be On Her Own
"My mother has explicitly said she is done with me. So now I can’t go back home."
For many teens, college represents a leap into adulthood. While some are gradually introduced to independence, others are thrust into it abruptly. The transition can be a daunting experience filled with challenges they never anticipated.
A 19-year-old college student (OP) shared her story on Reddit, revealing a heart-wrenching rift between her and her mother. OP explained that she was looking forward to the warmth and comfort of home during Christmas but instead faced the cold reality of her mother’s words: she was "released" and no longer welcome.
Alone in her dorm room, with the festive season unfolding around her, she contemplated her uncertain future. How was she going to survive all alone? And where was she supposed to spend her holidays now that she could no longer go home?
OP revealed that the root cause of this situation was the accumulation of her complaints about college—her mother couldn't take it anymore.
Apparently, OP had faced tremendous challenges in her computer science course. Once a confident high schooler, she was now grappling with a demanding curriculum and struggling to keep up with the relentless flow of assignments.
To compound OP's problems, the socially isolating nature of her course left her feeling adrift in a sea of indifferent peers. Worst of all, the weight of these challenges left her feeling depressed.
However, it wasn’t merely the academic rigor that distressed her; it was the agonizing feeling of not belonging, of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And now, with her family ties severed, she reached out to the vast Reddit community, searching for advice, solace, and perhaps a glimmer of hope.
The story in detail
Reddit.comA little background
Reddit.comSome clarity on the situation
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The Impact of Parental Relationships on Adulthood
Dr. Emily Carter, a developmental psychologist at Yale University, emphasizes that the transition from childhood to adulthood can be particularly challenging when parental support is withdrawn.
Her research indicates that young adults rely heavily on their families for emotional and financial support during this critical phase.
This sudden shift can lead to feelings of abandonment and insecurity, particularly for those who might not have developed a strong sense of autonomy prior to this announcement.
Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:
OP might need to prepare to pay their way through college. The real independence starts now
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“I would say, go get a job, speak to your university about what’s going on.”
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“Get a decent job and pay your own way.”
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Studies show that abrupt changes in family dynamics, such as a parent declaring they are 'done' with a child, can trigger significant psychological distress.
According to the American Psychological Association, these events can lead to anxiety, depression, and issues with self-esteem, especially if the individual feels unprepared for self-sufficiency.
It's important to note that these feelings are valid and can be addressed through therapy and support systems.
“You don't have to keep going to university if you don't want to. You could get a job.”
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“From what I gathered, she cut you off because you do not want to finish university.”
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“Move forward with your life. You are 19 now; time to grow up.”
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Coping Strategies for Young Adults Facing Sudden Independence
Research from the University of California, Berkeley, highlights the importance of developing a support network when facing sudden life changes.
Building connections with peers, mentors, or mental health professionals can provide necessary emotional support and guidance.
Additionally, engaging in self-care practices, such as mindfulness or journaling, can help individuals process their emotions and build resilience during this transition.
“You are so unfathomably lucky that your parents are paying for your schooling & housing.”
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“My advice is that you need to immediately get a job.”
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“Get a job and stay busy.”
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Attachment theory provides insights into how individuals react when faced with perceived abandonment.
Dr. Mary Ainsworth's studies suggest that those with insecure attachment styles may struggle more than others when their primary support system is removed.
Understanding one's attachment style can be a crucial step in navigating these feelings and fostering healthier relationships moving forward.
“It sounds like this is your mom's idea of tough love. Suck it up and stay in school.”
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The Reddit community has sympathized with OP regarding her predicament. The commenters feel that this is not a time to cry but a time to suck it up and become independent.
OP will most likely have to get a job and see herself through school. On the other hand, commenters have advised that she put a hold on her education if it’s causing strain on her mental health.
We’d love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.
Psychological Analysis
This behavior indicates a significant shift in the parent-child dynamic, often rooted in the parent’s own challenges or unresolved issues.
Young adults may feel a mix of confusion and fear, as the sudden lack of support can destabilize their sense of security.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In summary, the psychological implications of parental withdrawal are profound and warrant careful consideration.
Support from mental health professionals can help individuals navigate these turbulent feelings and develop the skills necessary for independence.
By understanding their emotional responses, individuals can work towards healing and establishing a more secure sense of self.
