Thanksgiving Hosts Are Spilling Their Biggest Pet Peeves, And Honestly… Ouch
Holiday hosts have been speaking up about the little things that turn gratitude into grit. From last-minute cancellations to cauliflower catastro
From the dining room, Thanksgiving looks like a scene from a magazine. Candles flicker softly. Pies cool on the counter. The turkey gleams like it’s ready for its close-up. But behind that perfect setting, the kitchen tells a different story.
Timers buzz. Pots rattle. Someone is mentally calculating oven schedules while keeping a calm smile and pretending the smoke alarm is part of the ambiance. Hosting is equal parts warmth and chaos—making guests feel at home while secretly juggling ten tiny crises at once.
That’s why even the smallest frictions can feel massive. A “be there soon” text that arrives half an hour before the guests do. A mystery casserole that suddenly needs reheating when every surface is already full. Kids who think your dog is part of the entertainment lineup.
Or the well-meaning guest who camps out in the kitchen, asking if the turkey is done every five minutes. None of these things ruin the holiday, but they do nibble away at the calm you tried to create.
Hosting, at its heart, is an act of love—and love takes work. Every plate, every centerpiece, every carefully timed dish carries effort that most people never see.
So when those tiny disruptions pile up, hosts everywhere nod in solidarity. Because behind every beautiful Thanksgiving table is someone silently praying the gravy doesn’t burn before the doorbell rings.
1. "OK...kind of reverse... My mom was actually hosting, and it was going to be scaled back since it was just 4 of us which is rare in our family. I got there and my contributions just needed some warming."
Her ham was still in the foil - because it was fully cooked so we can just eat it - and her scalloped potatoes (from Costco) were still frozen.
We will not be repeating that again.
AUGirl19992. “I’ll bring food, funds, and good vibes—just not to my house.”
3. “The turkey was done early, but so was my trust.”
4. She brought the spirit of Thanksgiving—late, cold, and needing oven space.
5. The "I just need to heat this up" crowd.
The loitering in the kitchen crowd. If you're not helping, stay out. If you're "helping" stay out. Just stay out. And please, please don't make me take my earbuds out.
booktrovert
6. There’s gratitude, and then there’s grammar—both matter today.
7. “Nothing boosts a cook’s confidence like someone seasoning your food on sight.”
8. "The majority of people suck at being on time and bringing a quality dish, that sounds horrible, I know. But I just don't trust people anymore!"
9. “Hands off unless you’re serving, not scavenging.”
10. Dessert, side dishes, and sparkling water—truly the holy trinity of confusion.
11. Ah yes, the rare guest who arrives empty-handed but leaves with enough leftovers to cater a wedding.
12 "The last time I hosted, my friends' kids were awful (examples: putting things from around my house in the toilet and HITTING MY DOG)."
I spent so much money on food and decor and table settings, and their kids said my food was gross and refused to eat, so their parents just let them run around my house leaving a path of destruction while we tried to have dinner. When they finally left I broke down crying because they made me feel so fully unappreciated and shat on.
anon
13. "One year one of my brother's in-laws made a HUGE deal out of bringing the green bean casserole. She brought the smallest bowl I ever saw for 30 people."
She commented, wow, that went so fast, we usually have leftovers (for her family of 2 adults and 2 kids).
SallysRocks
14. “If you’re close enough to use my personal bathroom, you’re close enough to help clean.”
15. “So many rooms, yet everyone chooses the sauna with the stove.”
16. “Some battles you pick, others you politely decline with a ‘no, thank you.’”
17. They bring dollar-store supplies but leave with premium leftovers.
18. “Sure, you’d be happy with a Costco pie—but I’m the one fighting for my life in this kitchen.”
19. “If you bail after I baked, you’re off the guest list and the leftovers.”
20. Proof that peace, turkey, and ham really can coexist.
21. Two uncooked casseroles and a store-bought pie—truly the Thanksgiving starter pack of chaos
22. "My sister-in-law’s yearly contribution… a single can of jellied cranberry sauce. After my mom, sister and I have each spent a ton of money and effort each making multiple dishes."
pnyluv16
23. "My hosting pet peeve is my mother. She has not gracefully relinquished control of the hosting duties and every singe event is made 10xmore difficult then it has to be."
24. The height of entitlement and rudeness to bring groceries and expect to use someone’s kitchen on THANKSGIVING!!!!
DolphinDarko
25. "If being offered anything to eat or drink, please just pick from what’s offered. I hate when i say, “would you like soda or wine” And someone says “Do you have juice?” Or lemonade or milk."
26. When people show up too early.
BlueAsTheNightIsLong
27. “Nothing like finding gravy handprints on your throw pillows to remind you family came over.”
28. Beautiful flowers. Terrible timing. There’s no spare vase, only chaos.
29. "I just tell people to bring drinks. We have an assortment of sodas because unfortunately I drink them like water lol, but I know soda, lemonade, and water aren’t for everyone."
I look forward to making the meal every year. This is my Super Bowl. Ain’t no one going to mess this up by bringing something I’m already making lol.
MegaMeepers
30. "I make it easy for everyone. I am the host and the chef. This is the menu. Dinner is at T0 and guests are welcome to arrive for cocktails at T-2 hours. Invitations are by individual. RSVP."
31. "Last year I asked my MIL to bring cranberry sauce. I was thinking homemade or even the canned jelly would have sufficed."
32. “Step away from the stuffing, it’s not your time to shine yet.”
33. “Arrive on time, leave your hot takes at home.”
34. “When being sick feels like a spa day compared to hosting.”
35. “I planned a symphony, and you brought a solo act in a crockpot.”
36. “If you can lift a fork, you can lift a dish.”
37. “She brings an appetite, not ambition—and everyone knows it.”
38. Some bring dessert, others bring drama—it’s all in the invitation, apparently.
39. “Nothing like watching your homemade masterpiece get upstaged by a last-minute store-bought ‘surprise.’”
40. "Last year I set our meal for 1pm, at 11am my Aunt and Uncle show up. I’m still in my pajamas, the food is all still cooking, I’m vacuuming the floors and I’m crying hysterically because my Mom woke up that morning with the stomach flu and couldn’t come help me."
41. “She arrived to host a painting party, not a dinner—on the same table, of course.”
42. The men folk who don't help do anything to get dinner ready, then sit around afterwards watching the game while all the women clean up.
Icy-Town-5355
43. Nothing says ‘holiday spirit’ like rationing corn kernels by headcount.
44. Teamwork makes the meal work. Freelancers need not apply.
45. “The kitchen is a war zone, not a social lounge—enter at your own risk.”
46. When people bring food but won't take the leftovers home and tell me to just get their dish back to them.
Mcshiggs
47. Bittersweet, quiet, and still—sometimes the smallest celebrations carry the most love.
48. “I said I needed help, not a full-scale dish evacuation.”
49. “Call it overboard if you want—some of us express love in side dishes.”
50. “Take what you’ll eat, eat what you take—simple holiday math.”
51. “Thanksgiving isn’t a debate stage or an eating contest—pace yourself on both.”
52. “This is how you host like grown-ups—organization, respect, and your own crockpot.”
53. “If you’re already late, maybe skip the bonus side quest.”
54. "I have a guest pet peeve. In-laws who ask me to bring a side dish and then they go ahead and make a duplicate just in case I don’t do it right"
I’ve had this happen and my offering gets treated like the “spare”.
saveswhatx
55. "My nephew and niece won’t eat anything that is served at Thanksgiving. "
Without fail, my SIL wants to make grilled cheese sandwiches for her kids just when all of the rest of the food is almost done. It’s always at the worst time to have someone else trying to use a burner for something that is not part of dinner.
Tangyplacebo621
56. “It’s giving... guest energy with none of the gratitude.”
57. "Everyone has been a great Thanksgiving guest over the years, except my MIL."
58. “Turkeys don’t resize themselves based on your vibe check.”
59. When people show up.
Successful-Bear5980
60. “When you can’t stop her from cooking, you can at least contain the storm.”
61. “She brought the ingredients, not the dish—bold choice for someone else’s kitchen.”
62. “You can change the channel, but not thirty years of ritual.”
63. “If I fed you, the least you can do is face the dish mountain with me.”
64. “If your dish needs my utensils and my EpiPen, it’s not coming through the door.”
65. “Gratitude hits different when it’s just the two of you, but the love still fills the room.”
66. “Ah yes, the guest who forgets their dish, blames you, and still wants dinner service after hours.”
67. "When somebody (my mom cough cough) brings an entire alternate menu because so-and-so likes it this way”.
aimeed72
68. “If you wanted cold stuffing, mission accomplished.”
69. “If you move my decorations or pack leftovers for no-shows, you’re on the naughty list till Easter.”
70. “If you’re too stuffed to help, you’re too stuffed to take leftovers.”
71. “Every family has drama. Ours just happens to involve cauliflower and betrayal.”
72. Criticisms about food, especially when you brought NOTHING (cue my mother..). “The turkey is over cooked.” “The broccoli casserole needs more salt.” “Did you forget salt in EVERY dish?!”.
NW_chick
73. Nothing says ‘helpful’ like showing up hours early and turning the kitchen into a live cooking show.
Holidays are a team sport disguised as a family photo. Hosts set the stage. Guests bring the warmth. The magic happens when everyone notices the effort behind the table and decides to carry a piece of it. Show up on time. Ask what is helpful. Compliment the food. Watch the dog, the kids, and the oven door.
Have your own gentle rule for guests or a story that changed how you host. Share it in the comments. Someone planning their first big dinner will thank you. And if this list made you laugh, nod, or text your group chat, pass it on. The best tradition is making next year easier for everyone.
