Father Asks Reddit If He's Wrong for Denying His Trans Daughter's Request to Change His Tattoo to Reflect Her Chosen Pronouns
The man's wife and daughter confronted him about the fact that his tattoo still includes his daughter's "deadname" instead of her new chosen name.
A father’s tattoo turned into a family fight after his trans daughter asked him to update it to match her chosen pronouns. What started as a personal tribute ended up becoming a painful point of tension at home.
Reddit user u/tattoothrowaway77 shared the story in the AITA subreddit, explaining that his eldest child came out as trans and now uses female pronouns. He said the family has adjusted over time, but the issue resurfaced when his wife and daughter noticed that his tattoo still includes his daughter’s deadname.
He says changing it would not be easy or cheap, but his daughter was not willing to let it go. Now he’s wondering if he really is the problem.
Reddit user u/tattoothrowaway77 posted his story in the AITA (Am I The A'Hole?) subreddit.
Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77He explained how his eldest child came out as trans and now only goes by female pronouns.
Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77The man explained that he couldn't afford to have the tattoo removed and changed.
Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77
He asked the community if he's the a**hole in this situation.
Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77
That’s when the comments started rolling in.
Here's how people reacted.
NTA. The hypocrisy is real.
Reddit/u/AnonymousHusker
"So much this."
Reddit/u/Plastic_Criticism
Excuses, excuses.
Reddit/u/MercuryCobra
"Weird as f*ck."
Reddit/u/KingJonStarkgeryan1
"This is everything that's wrong with identity politics."
Reddit/u/Tinnitus_Maximouse
"Hypocrisy and overreaction."
Reddit/u/IcySneeze
Some commenters thought there was more going on here than the tattoo itself.
This gets real similar to the bride who excluded parents from her wedding after they disowned her for coming out.
Perhaps there's a bigger issue?
Reddit/u/Wehavecrashed
"Don't oppress me, but I'll oppress you."
Reddit/u/IPAF_88
"Names and pictures can be messy."
Reddit/u/DazedAndTrippy
Just use symbols.
Reddit/u/onestrangetruth
It's a blow to the gut!
Reddit/u/BlueEyedSpencer
"Therapy and a willingness to change the issues are imperative."
Reddit/u/Computerlady77
Fixed!
Reddit/u/niqolas1
One reply tried to lighten the mood with a practical fix.
Ha! I mean, it would certainly make matters easier.
Reddit/u/huggiesdsc
Ohhh, clever!
Reddit/u/Jimwall5
"A physical burden."
Reddit/u/Sonrisass
"They both need to chill out."
Reddit/u/toastnbanana416
Others said the family was missing the bigger picture.
More to the story.
Reddit/u/Pookle123
"The name YOU gave your kids."
Reddit/u/DickHertz_FromHolden
A fair point.
Reddit/u/Jesalis
What do you think about our OP's predicament? Do you believe he is in the right here, or should he be adhering to the wishes of his wife and daughter in this situation?
As some commenters pointed out, it's hard to tell whether there is more to this story or not. Perhaps our OP hasn't been as understanding of his daughter's situation as he's making it out to be.
Or maybe he has been. Perhaps his wife and daughter are being entirely irrational.
Either way, one thing is for sure, family relationships are complicated. There will always be disagreements, and there will always be hard times, no matter the family situation.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Feel free to let us know in the comment section.
Before you judge, check out the dad who rehomed their family dog after a bite incident, no partner consulted.
