Father Asks Reddit If He's Wrong for Denying His Trans Daughter's Request to Change His Tattoo to Reflect Her Chosen Pronouns

For parents of trans children, there will always be some adjustments that need to be made. Conflicts may arise no matter how understanding, loving, and accepting a parent is of their child.

Of course, we love our children unconditionally, but that doesn't mean things are always easy. For this father of a trans daughter, things are proving to be very challenging.

Reddit user u/tattoothrowaway77 posted his story in the AITA (Am I The A'Hole?) subreddit. He explained how his eldest child came out as trans and now only goes by female pronouns.

The Redditor went on to say that although it caused some issues within his family for a while, everything is good now. He has also been learning more about his daughter's wishes and her new pronouns.

So, what's the problem? Well, the OP explained that after the birth of his final child, he decided to get the names of his three children tattooed on his arm.

The man's wife and daughter confronted him about the fact that his tattoo still includes his daughter's "deadname" instead of her new chosen name. They insisted that this should be changed, but the OP explained that it wouldn't be that simple and that he couldn't really afford it.

Well, u/tattoothrowaway77's daughter wasn't impressed. She even went as far as to call the OP a "sh*tty father" and threatened to remove him from her life altogether.

The Redditor was left hurt and confused by the situation. He didn't consider his tattoo to be such a big issue.

So, naturally, he decided to ask the Reddit community for help. He inquired if he was indeed the a'hole in this scenario, and (of course) people had plenty to say about it.

Reddit user u/tattoothrowaway77 posted his story in the AITA (Am I The A'Hole?) subreddit.

Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77

He explained how his eldest child came out as trans and now only goes by female pronouns.

Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77

The man explained that he couldn't afford to have the tattoo removed and changed.

Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77

He asked the community if he's the a**hole in this situation.

Reddit/u/tattoothrowaway77

Here's how people reacted.

NTA. The hypocrisy is real.

Reddit/u/AnonymousHusker

"So much this."

Reddit/u/Plastic_Criticism

Excuses, excuses.

Reddit/u/MercuryCobra

"Weird as f*ck."

Reddit/u/KingJonStarkgeryan1

"This is everything that's wrong with identity politics."

Reddit/u/Tinnitus_Maximouse

"Hypocrisy and overreaction."

Reddit/u/IcySneeze

Perhaps there's a bigger issue?

Reddit/u/Wehavecrashed

"Don't oppress me, but I'll oppress you."

Reddit/u/IPAF_88

"Names and pictures can be messy."

Reddit/u/DazedAndTrippy

Just use symbols.

Reddit/u/onestrangetruth

It's a blow to the gut!

Reddit/u/BlueEyedSpencer

"Therapy and a willingness to change the issues are imperative."

Reddit/u/Computerlady77

Fixed!

Reddit/u/niqolas1

Ha! I mean, it would certainly make matters easier.

Reddit/u/huggiesdsc

Ohhh, clever!

Reddit/u/Jimwall5

"A physical burden."

Reddit/u/Sonrisass

"They both need to chill out."

Reddit/u/toastnbanana416

More to the story.

Reddit/u/Pookle123

"The name YOU gave your kids."

Reddit/u/DickHertz_FromHolden

A fair point.

Reddit/u/Jesalis

What do you think about our OP's predicament? Do you believe he is in the right here, or should he be adhering to the wishes of his wife and daughter in this situation?

As some commenters pointed out, it's hard to tell whether there is more to this story or not. Perhaps our OP hasn't been as understanding of his daughter's situation as he's making it out to be.

Or maybe he has been. Perhaps his wife and daughter are being entirely irrational.

Either way, one thing is for sure—family relationships are complicated. There will always be disagreements, and there will always be hard times, no matter the family situation.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Feel free to let us know in the comment section.