Parents Give Their Children $53k Each To Help Pay For Their College Fees, Their Daughter Earns Six Figures While Their Son Is A Couch-Surfing Brat With No Degree
He was demanding more money, but they kicked him out instead.
Some parents save for years hoping their kids will get a real head start, and this family thought they had done exactly that. They put away $106,000 for college, split it between their son and daughter, and gave both of them the same chance to use it wisely.
That is where the paths split. Their daughter chose the cheaper option, finished school with little debt, and now earns six figures, while their son picked an expensive university, burned through his share, and kept asking for more help when things got tight.
Now he is couch-surfing, still without a degree, and the family is stuck arguing over whether he was given enough, or too much. Read on.
Their daughter is now earning six figures, and their son still hasn't saved anything four years after he took a break from school.
OP's son feels bad about his situation, but instead of improving it, he started slacking off even more. He now plays video games all day and smokes weed, which caused his job performance to suffer, and they fired him.
He receives unemployment benefits, but it still isn't enough to save for his tuition fees. He once again asked OP and his wife to just give him the money, but they told him again that they had already contributed what they could to the $53k education fund, and it was his choice to go to an expensive university.
He reasoned that he didn't understand all of those things when he was just 18 years old, and it was his parents' fault for letting him go to that university. This wasn't the case because they tried to talk him out of that choice, as there was a better alternative, but he refused to listen.
OP told him he should apply for a loan so he could study at the in-state university. He didn't want to and said OP should pay for his studies.
He thinks they have treated him unfairly by not giving him more money, and this has caused a lot of fights within the family. He lives with them rent-free but refuses to do any chores and parties all night, only to disrupt their sleep when he comes home at midnight.
OP and his wife felt they had no choice but to tell him to move out within three months. Their son recently moved out to stay with his friends.
He was angry and yelled that they would not be invited to his future wedding or see his future children. OP's wife wants to give in and pay for their son's tuition so he doesn't end up becoming such a loser.
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Is OP an a**hole for kicking his son out? You can read the full post below:
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"It would cover almost all the tuition at our in-state university."
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Most parents hope for their kids to succeed in life. Their children's success means they have done a good job preparing them for what lies ahead, and it also means their kids won't have to rely on them.
OP and his wife did the right thing when they dedicated an education savings fund for their two children early on. They didn't foresee just how expensive schooling would be, but they still saved $106k for their son and daughter to split in half.
OP told his kids about the money, and they could either use it to pay for their college expenses or withdraw it when they turned 21.
They left that choice to their kids but explicitly told them it was the last monetary help they would receive. OP's son was the first to go to university.
He chose an expensive school where he had to pay rent, and the annual tuition was around $27k a year. They tried to talk him out of it because there was a better alternative, but he didn't listen. The parents gave up trying to give him advice and told him he had to pay for the path he chose.
On the other hand, their daughter went to an in-state university, lived at home while she studied, and finished her business degree with little to no debt. After two years, their son's money ran out, and he switched majors, which meant another year in school.
He asked OP and his wife for more money, but they said they had already helped him out. He got angry but didn't want to take out any loans, so he started working.
They gave him permission to move in with them during the pandemic to save money faster, but he lost his job. He found another job quickly but spent his salary buying things online.
He got a better job that paid him well, and OP thought he would start saving for college again. This time, their son spent his salary on clothes and video games.
That's when the money stopped making a difference.
"He wouldn't listen!"
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"We told him he could move back during the pandemic."
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*Spongebob Narrator Voice* "Four years later..."
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He kept making the same choice, just with a different paycheck.
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The comments said it wouldn't matter if OP paid for his son's tuition because he would continue being a loser.
Think-Level-2029
The situation between the siblings highlights a poignant contrast in how financial support can shape personal responsibility and ambition. The daughter's success, earning six figures while utilizing the financial help from her parents for education, stands in stark contrast to her brother, who appears to have developed a sense of entitlement. His expectation for continued financial assistance, despite his lack of educational pursuits, raises questions about the long-term effects of excessive parental support without the accompanying responsibility.
It is evident that the parents' decision to provide significant funds for college was well-intentioned, aimed at ensuring their children's success. However, this scenario illustrates a crucial lesson about the importance of balance in parental support. As he remains couch-surfing without a degree, it underscores the risks of fostering entitlement and illustrates the necessity for parents to gradually shift financial support as their children transition into adulthood, promoting self-sufficiency and resilience.
It also echoes “You’re a Tenant Now,” the mom’s sudden rent rule change that left a college student furious.
Based on his recent history, we highly doubt he will do well in school. He has been given countless opportunities to better himself, but he wasted all of them.
MontanaPurpleMtns
He chose a challenging path for himself; nobody forced him to, but instead of rising to the occasion, he floundered.
QuaestorLucem
He was given all of the advantages but failed to make anything out of them.
iaincaradoc
Social learning theory posits that individuals learn behaviors through observation and imitation.
He is skipping forward through several important steps before he can have that wedding.
BigRedNutcase
He did try very hard to emotionally manipulate and guilt his parents into giving him more money.
artsyaspen
He and his sister were given the same amount of time and money. One of them made it work while the other is couch-surfing with his friends.
Mama-Sawka
Navigating Conflict and Independence
The tension in this family dynamic illustrates an important psychological principle: the balance of support and independence.
He started placing the blame on his parents when he saw his plans weren't exactly going his way.
nothingclever4now
Like what OP said, his son can take out student loans and work while he's studying if he really wants that degree.
Desc440
The parents did all of the right things here: they saved money for their children's education, gave them advice on where they could maximize the money for the best opportunities, and helped them out during a crisis. One of their kids succeeded while the other one is an entitled loser.
OP and his wife may feel sad and disappointed about how their son turned out, but it isn't their fault anymore. They gave him enough warning about the expensive road he chose for himself, but he didn't listen; all he has now are empty threats and a degree he can no longer afford.
The contrasting paths of the parents' children in this narrative underscore a crucial lesson about the balance of support and independence. While the daughter has thrived with her financial backing, achieving a six-figure income, the son’s situation as a couch-surfing adult without a degree illustrates the potential pitfalls of over-reliance on parental assistance. The article highlights how essential it is for parents to instill resilience and a strong work ethic in their children. It is not enough to provide financial resources; fostering a growth mindset is vital for ensuring that children can create their own success. This family’s experience serves as a reminder that true independence comes from learning to navigate life's challenges rather than simply receiving a financial safety net.
And now the whole family is left with the fallout.
Before you judge, read how the struggling son demanded repayment flexibility from his parents.
