High School Drama Leaves One Twin Sister Alone At Lunch — And The Reddit Community Can’t Decide Who’s Right

A Redditor is navigating the tricky balance of raising twin daughters, Sara and Mia, who want to be seen as individuals despite sharing a lifelong bond. In freshman year, the twins—identical in age but different in temperament—hit a crossroads.

From elementary school, they were inseparable, often referred to as “the girls” rather than as two distinct people. In middle school, Mia began pushing for independence, and the school tried separating them when possible. The Redditor encouraged each girl to explore different interests: Mia thrived in athletics, while Sara discovered theatre. Over time, separate friend groups and routines helped, though Sara sometimes struggled in her sister’s shadow.

High school marked the biggest separation yet: separate schedules, teachers, and social circles. For Mia, this was liberating; for Sara, isolating. When Sara’s small friend group fell apart, she asked Mia if she could join her at lunch. Mia refused, sparking a fight that left both girls upset.

Mia explained she had worked hard to build an identity apart from her twin and didn’t want to revert to being part of a “twin package.” Sara felt hurt and abandoned. The Redditor encouraged Sara to keep putting herself out there, echoing her counselor’s advice, while resisting the push from their ex to force the sisters together.

The Redditor stressed that forcing connection could breed resentment and undo years of work helping the twins establish independence. They suggested occasional shared lunches as a compromise, but not as a daily expectation. They also noted that not all siblings are meant to be best friends; sometimes respect for boundaries is just as important as closeness.

Ultimately, the Redditor hopes both daughters can find balance—whether bonding as sisters or simply honoring each other’s individuality. High school may be messy, but with empathy and patience, they might emerge stronger and more confident in who they are.

Desperate for connection, Sara asked Mia if she could sit with her at lunch and join her friend group, but Mia’s response was a firm “no,” sparking a heated fight that left both girls upset.

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Here is the original post by Reddit user 'Broad_Range4780'.

This is about my two girls ( twins) that are in freshman year of high school. I will call them Sara and Mia. During elementary school they were basically always  together. Middle school Mia started to feel resentment about always being with Sara so the school tried to split them up as much as possible. This was hard because the classes were not big. I made it a point to have activities that were just there own.Mia got really into sport and Sara into theatre. This seemed to help and we did more separating. They got their own birthday parties and not a shared one for example. Mia really thrived with this but Sara did not. It has been a lot harder for Sara to be her own person ( Mia was always the dominate  twin when they were together) High school was a big change and for the first time they were completely separate, no shared classes. Sara has been having difficulties and it got worse this past month. The friend group she was hanging out with broke up and she has been sitting alone at lunch. Sara asked Mia to sit together with her friend group at lunch and Mia told her no. This resulted in in a big fight between the two. Mia point was these were her friends and Sara need to learn to make her own and basically not piggyback off Mia. Sara point was they were twins and she is sad sitting alone.I told Sara very gently that Mai doesn’t have to sit with her at lunch and encouraged her to keep trying to make friends, and basically put herself back out there Sara has been crying since and my ex is giving me an earful. I don’t know if I made the right call on thisedit: Sara is in clubs and already talks to a counselor, who basically gave the same advice of put herself out therethe friend group fell apart because of boy dramaedit2: people keep asking why she doesn’t want Sara to join. The answer is she doesn’t want to be the twin package anymore. She wants her own friend, she wants to be independent.i can’t force them to sit together because that would make resentment. I can give a conversation about empathy witch i will do but it will not be a guilt trip becuase she Is allowed to say no to sitting with someone.Maybe sit with her once and while at lunch would be good. Not all siblings are best friends and people treating them as the as a package is the reason they are not close to begin with.

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

coastalkid92

"Making friends is hard and it takes time."

SQ_Madriel

"It’s okay to want to be different people."

Defiant_Tea_8722

"What's going on there?"

twinkedgelord

"Careful you're not raising a bully."

beanthebean

ESH.

camkats

"It’s hard being a girl in high school."

yellohello1001

"Siblings shouldn’t be the instant fix to each other’s problem."

Mom_to_4

"Sara may need some professional support."

parodytx

YTA.

Glass-Cat8159

"Forcing one child to do something to please another is not okay."

Bluewaveempress

NAH.

SandalsResort

Let them figure it out on their own.

odie1963

"That's a tough spot to be in as a parent."

BigComfyCouch4

In the end, the Redditor knows there’s no perfect playbook for raising twins, only a series of choices made with love and a hope they land well. And as these two girls carve out their own paths—sometimes side-by-side, sometimes miles apart—their parent is simply doing their best to help them grow without losing themselves along the way.