Adults Who Never Questioned The House Rules They Had As Kids And Just Realized That Not All Families Had Them

Some childhood house rules are so specific that they feel normal until adulthood hits and everyone else looks confused. That is exactly what happens in this Reddit thread, where people share the strange, strict, and sometimes hilarious rules they grew up with at home.

From family voting systems and bizarre food habits to phone etiquette and chores that never felt fair, the stories show just how different one household can be from another. A few of them are funny in hindsight, and a few are the kind of thing you only realize was odd years later.

The comments get even better once people start comparing notes. Read on.

1. A Flawed System

We voted as a family on all important decisions. Under 18s got half a vote each, so the three kids always got outvoted 2 to 1.5, but we were stupidly content that we’d lost in a ‘fair’ democratic vote.The system collapsed when we had to decide whether to have a cat or not, and Mom unexpectedly abstained.

That family democracy had a very specific weakness.

When individuals grow up adhering strictly to family rules, they often internalize these guidelines, leading to a rigid worldview. This can affect how one processes authority and autonomy later in life.

Specifically, studies show that children raised in highly structured environments may struggle with decision-making as adults. They might find it challenging to question norms or assert their preferences. Understanding this can help individuals navigate their current relationships and beliefs more effectively.

2. Some Pretty Uncommon Rules

I had SUPER laid-back parents, but there were a few specific things that they were randomly crazy strict about.No gum. No Play-Doh. No cereal with sugar as one of the top three ingredients. No Simpsons.I had basically no rules growing up, but those four things would make them lose their minds. I still get anxious when I’m chewing gum, and I’m 35.

3. Totally Not Weird...

Haiku night dinners.Some nights we spoke in haikuAnd only haiku

4. It Is Kind of Weird

Not mine, but my mother-in-law and her sister will fuss at you if you wash your hands in the kitchen sink. I think that’s weird.If there’s a sink and some hand soap, I say wash away. My wife isn’t like that.

Some house rules make sense to the people enforcing them, and nobody else.

5. How to Embarrass Your Kids

I had to answer the phone with, “Hello, this is first-name last-name speaking,” whenever I answered the phone (this is obviously in the 80s before caller ID on landlines). My mom tried to make my childhood friends do it too when they called me to play. As in:“Hi, can I talk to geeltulpen?”“Who is this?”“It’s friend.”“Well, friend, when you call this house and I answer the phone, you should say hello to me and then tell me that it’s you, your first name and last name, before you ask to speak to geeltulpen.”Boy, was I popular.

6. Asking for Permission

We weren’t allowed to eat anything without asking. Even for a glass of water, we were required to ask first. When my boyfriend and I started dating, I would ask his parents if I could eat or drink something if I was hungry or thirsty, and it was a hard habit to break when his mom told me I could literally eat or drink anything (other than alcohol).It was so weird to just go into the fridge or pantry without permission. I sometimes have to fight the urge to ask my boyfriend if I can eat OUR food in OUR apartment.When I went to my parents' house for Christmas, I was reprimanded for getting an apple without asking first. It’s just all so weird, but it used to be so normal.

7. Definitely Not Their Favorite Child

I had to wash the dishes every night, even if I wasn’t home for the meal. There were times I’d get home from an away basketball game (I was on the team) after 10 PM, and the dishes had sat since they finished eating around 6:30 PM.My older brother’s nightly chore? Take out the garbage.He’d be done in 2 minutes. I’d have 30+ minutes of washing, drying, putting away, and cleaning up the kitchen.

It’s also like the AITA case where someone’s strict visiting rules turned into friction with a family member, forcing a boundary fight.

See how enforcing strict housing rules during visits sparked family tension.

8. That's a Weirdly Specific Number

My dad made a rule that I had to kill seven flies a day during my summer break.

9. The Food Blanket

My family had a thing we called the food blanket. When we’d eat casual meals, we’d lay a blanket on the living room floor and eat on it, like a picnic. My parents didn’t want to get any food on the carpet. Instead of “set the table,” my mom would say, “go lay out the blanket.” I remember being really confused when I learned that not every family had a food blanket.

10. Total Freedom of Choice

My parents used a laissez-faire parenting style. No censorship whatsoever. I watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show with my brother when I was 7.Pretty awkward when I brought the VHS with me to a sleepover at a friend’s house. The parents were mortified.

11. The Pissing Jar

It wasn’t in my home, but my aunt and uncle never let us use the upstairs washroom when we were kids because they thought we’d touch the walls with our dirty hands. So they made us pee in a jar they kept under the kitchen sink and just poured it down the drain when we were done. I never thought it was strange until I brought it up to my cousin a few years ago; we laughed pretty hard about it.

12. Manual Climate Control

Winter meant the thermostat was turned to 55, all vents but the living room vent were closed, a magnetic sheet was put on the vents to prevent leaks, and then ALL windows got the plastic sheeting & hairdryer treatment. A sheet was hung from the ceiling by the staircase to prevent the living room vent from sending all the heat upstairs. Lots of baking was done. Of course, the bathroom and kitchen vents stayed closed year-round.Summer meant the thermostat was set to 80, all vents downstairs were closed, and a magnetic sheet was put on. Curtains would be drawn 24/7, and oven use was kept to a minimum.

13. Absolute Genius

My mom used to pay me to be my own babysitter between the ages of 10 and 14 or so. The rule was that as long as I didn't make a mess and I put myself to bed by the time she got home, then I got $10 in the morning.

That one sounds like it worked out for everybody.

When adults realize that their upbringing fundamentally differed from their peers, it can trigger cognitive dissonance. This psychological state occurs when their beliefs about family norms clash with new information, leading to discomfort.

Understanding that families operate under varying rules can help individuals reframe their experiences and recognize the uniqueness of their upbringing. This process is crucial for personal growth and a healthier self-concept.

That realization can hit a little harder than people expect.

To navigate these realizations, practicing self-compassion is vital.

The moment of realization that not all families operate under the same set of rules can be a profound experience for many adults. This awakening often leads to a deeper understanding of personal family dynamics, which can significantly impact emotional well-being. The article highlights how these reflections on childhood experiences can open the door to healing and personal growth. By recognizing and questioning the rules that shaped their upbringing, individuals can cultivate a richer sense of identity and improve their relationships with others. This journey of exploration is essential for fostering a healthier emotional landscape and understanding the diverse ways families can function.

Navigating Rule-Based Upbringings

Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection encourages exploration of personal values and boundaries.

Some childhood rules age better than others.

The article sheds light on a compelling aspect of personal development that many may overlook: the impact of childhood house rules on adult behavior. For individuals who grew up adhering strictly to their parents' regulations, the realization that not all families operated under the same constraints can be a profound awakening. This newfound awareness can serve as a catalyst for examining unresolved familial dynamics that linger into adulthood, often manifesting as emotional challenges.

By reflecting on these ingrained patterns, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery that is essential for personal growth. The piece emphasizes the potential benefits of therapeutic interventions that prioritize self-awareness and boundary-setting, highlighting how these practices can lead to improved emotional health. As readers consider their own narratives, they may find that acknowledging past limitations transforms them into opportunities for growth, ultimately fostering a more adaptive and fulfilling life.

Wait, but did your “fair vote” collapse like the siblings did when strict curfew rules made everyone feud? Read the AITA family showdown over enforcing strict household rules.