Woman Calls Out Mom For Begging Her For Money Despite Spending Hers On A Frivolous Lifestyle

Selecting one thing requires giving up another in a world of scarcity. Money spent on one item prevents us from spending it on other things, either now or in the future.

Therefore, every action we take has a cost associated with it. This is why people only spend when they have to and save the rest.

Overspending is the act of spending more than you earn or budget for. In other words, it indicates that you are living beyond your means.

You are overspending if your income is insufficient to meet all of your expenses, even though you make enough to cover them all. If your expenses are too high to allow you to save enough for your goals, that is another example of overspending.

It is never a good idea to spend more money than is necessary. It will damage your finances and prevent you from achieving your financial objectives.

This is what happened to the OP's mom, who ended up begging her children for money. She sold the house she inherited, and instead of buying a reasonable home, she purchased a 4,000-square-foot house in a gated community for herself and her three cats.

There was literally no money left over from the sale or acquisition of a new home. She constantly begged OP, her brother, and sister for money.

They were all trying to establish themselves in their lives, careers, and financial security, but they still weren't content.

The OP writes

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OP's mom got the house by having her grandma with dementia change the will

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They qualify to live in low-income housing, and the OP finds ways to be resourceful

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The Impact of Entitlement in Family Dynamics

Dr. Rachel Simmons, a social psychologist, explains that feelings of entitlement often stem from childhood experiences where individuals received excessive praise or unearned rewards.

This theory is supported by studies showing that adults with such backgrounds frequently struggle with empathy and responsibility in their relationships.

In this case, the mother's behavior reflects a need for validation that conflicts with her daughter's growing independence.

OP's mom's sob story phone call upset her, and it took her a few hours to get her head straight

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And the comments roll in...

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Sounds like she'll bleed the OP

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Research in developmental psychology suggests that financial dependency can create stress and resentment within family dynamics.

According to the American Journal of Psychology, families facing economic strain often exhibit heightened conflict as members navigate competing needs and expectations.

The OP needs to call adult social services

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The OP added in the comments saying:

I know she recently had PT/OT at home because she is so sedentary and unhealthy (refuses to eat; I think the benzodiazepines ruined her appetite) and comes down with pneumonia a few times a year, and they stopped coming because she was “fine” (well, this is what she said).I think my mom knows how to put on a good act—she's a master manipulator, and I know SOON she will not be able to maintain such a good act. But right now, doctors here in the USA declare her “just fine,” but then again—maybe she is just making this all up. I need to sit down and have some phone calls with her doctors and fax my medical power of attorney to them all. I have it in her one hospital file at the local hospital she goes to, but I need to put it out to the few other doctors she has mentioned.

OP's mom is mentally unwell

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Sending hugs to the OP

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Navigating Financial Boundaries

Establishing clear financial boundaries is essential to maintaining healthy family relationships.

Experts recommend open conversations about financial expectations and responsibilities, which can reduce misunderstandings and foster mutual respect.

Research supports that families who communicate effectively about finances tend to have lower levels of conflict.

Cutting the toxicity out

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She doesn't need parenting

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The OP's enabling her

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Additionally, practicing assertiveness can empower individuals to set boundaries without feeling guilty.

Techniques from assertiveness training, such as using 'I' statements and active listening, can be beneficial for both parties in this situation.

These strategies can help the daughter articulate her feelings while encouraging her mother's awareness of her own behavior.

Overspending is indicated by feelings of perpetual financial insufficiency, low bank account balances, and excessive credit card usage. OP's mom clearly needs help in salvaging her finances, and she ought to be grateful for the little her children can provide her.

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Understanding Emotional Triggers

Dr. John Gottman, an expert in relationship dynamics, notes that emotional triggers often lead to defensiveness and conflict in familial relationships.

His research highlights that recognizing these triggers can pave the way for deeper understanding and connection.

By uncovering the underlying issues, families can work towards healthier interactions and mutual support.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of entitlement and financial dependency within family dynamics. The mother's behavior likely stems from a need for validation and control, which can often lead to conflicts when her children are trying to assert their independence. Establishing clear financial boundaries and fostering open conversations can help mitigate misunderstandings and reduce resentment among family members.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, fostering open communication around financial matters can significantly improve family relationships.

Research suggests that families who engage in these discussions are better equipped to navigate challenges together, leading to more satisfying and supportive dynamics.