Woman Calls Out Mom For Begging Her For Money Despite Spending Hers On A Frivolous Lifestyle

A 28-year-old woman thought she was finally catching a break when her mom started calling for money again. But every time the sob story hits, it comes with the same twist: her mom is living like the rules do not apply to her, while the OP is the one stuck figuring out how to survive.

The mess goes way deeper than a random request. The OP’s mom got the house through a will change tied to the OP’s grandma, who had dementia. The family also qualifies for low-income housing, and the OP has been resourceful to make things work, even while her mom shows up with phone calls that sound like pure guilt-bait.

Then the OP drops the scary part, the part where her mom is “fine” on paper, but keeps cycling through pneumonia, refuses to eat, and somehow always manages to look healthy when people come around.

The OP writes

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OP's mom got the house by having her grandma with dementia change the will

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They qualify to live in low-income housing, and the OP finds ways to be resourceful

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That’s when the mom’s “sob story” phone call derailed the OP for hours, because the timing and the attitude never matched the supposed need.

The article illustrates a poignant clash between entitlement and responsibility, as the mother in this scenario seeks financial support from her daughter while indulging in a lifestyle that prioritizes frivolity. This dynamic highlights how feelings of entitlement can often develop from childhood experiences where praise and rewards are given without merit. As the daughter asserts her independence, the mother's demands reveal a deep-seated need for validation that seems at odds with the principles of responsibility and mutual support in adult relationships. The mother's expectations not only burden the daughter but also underscore a broader societal issue where personal accountability is undermined by a sense of entitlement.

OP's mom's sob story phone call upset her, and it took her a few hours to get her head straight

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And the comments roll in...

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Sounds like she'll bleed the OP

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The entitlement gets even louder when the OP realizes the same woman who benefited from a dementia-linked will switch is now acting like her daughter owes her money.

Research in developmental psychology suggests that financial dependency can create stress and resentment within family dynamics.

The OP needs to call adult social services

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The OP added in the comments saying:

I know she recently had PT/OT at home because she is so sedentary and unhealthy (refuses to eat; I think the benzodiazepines ruined her appetite) and comes down with pneumonia a few times a year, and they stopped coming because she was “fine” (well, this is what she said).I think my mom knows how to put on a good act—she's a master manipulator, and I know SOON she will not be able to maintain such a good act. But right now, doctors here in the USA declare her “just fine,” but then again—maybe she is just making this all up. I need to sit down and have some phone calls with her doctors and fax my medical power of attorney to them all. I have it in her one hospital file at the local hospital she goes to, but I need to put it out to the few other doctors she has mentioned.

This mirrors the dilemma in the AITA where an OP refused to lend a struggling friend money.

OP's mom is mentally unwell

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Sending hugs to the OP

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And just as commenters start warning the OP she’ll be bled dry, the OP reveals her mom’s shaky health routine, the PT/OT that got pulled, and the “she was fine” line.

Research supports that families who communicate effectively about finances tend to have lower levels of conflict.

Cutting the toxicity out

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She doesn't need parenting

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The OP's enabling her

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Now the OP is talking about calling doctors and faxing her medical power of attorney, because the “good act” is only holding up until the next reality check.

Additionally, practicing assertiveness can empower individuals to set boundaries without feeling guilty.

Techniques from assertiveness training, such as using 'I' statements and active listening, can be beneficial for both parties in this situation.

These strategies can help the daughter articulate her feelings while encouraging her mother's awareness of her own behavior.

Overspending is indicated by feelings of perpetual financial insufficiency, low bank account balances, and excessive credit card usage. OP's mom clearly needs help in salvaging her finances, and she ought to be grateful for the little her children can provide her.

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Emotional triggers often lead to defensiveness and conflict in familial relationships.

By uncovering the underlying issues, families can work towards healthier interactions and mutual support.

The situation presented in the article highlights the critical need for transparent conversations about finances within families. The daughter’s frustration with her mother’s request for money, despite her own spending choices, underscores a deeper issue of financial awareness and responsibility. When families openly discuss their financial situations, they are better prepared to face challenges together, which can lead to healthier and more understanding relationships. Without such dialogue, misunderstandings about priorities and lifestyle choices can create rifts, as seen in this scenario.

The OP isn’t just refusing a handout, she’s realizing her mom’s performance is the real bill.

For a similar blowup, read why this OP denied their sister a loan during the family crisis.