Couple Sparks Family Outrage After Announcing Wedding Guests Must Audition To Give Speeches At Their Ceremony
The wedding where your heartfelt toast needs prior approval.
Planning a wedding with a large family sounds lovely in theory. Lots of love, lots of laughter, and a room full of people who genuinely care about you.
But when both sides of the family are huge, even the most thoughtful traditions can quietly snowball into something overwhelming. This couple ran into that exact problem while planning their reception.
Between both families, they estimate around twenty-five people would love to give a speech. Not a quick toast either. Full speeches. The kind that can stretch on, repeat stories, and slowly drain the energy from a room.
They already know that if everyone speaks, the reception would feel endless, and most guests would mentally check out long before the final microphone handoff.
Ideally, they would prefer four or five speeches in total, and realistically, they already know that only a handful of the potential speakers would truly deliver something meaningful or memorable. The challenge is choosing without hurting feelings or creating unnecessary tension.
During brainstorming, two interesting ideas came up. The first was drawing names from a hat, which felt fair on the surface but ignored the reality that not every speech would land well.
The second idea was more unconventional. Let interested family members audition by submitting or practicing their speeches in front of them, then choose the strongest four or five. That way, everyone gets a chance to be heard, even if they do not make the final cut.
Unfortunately, not everyone took this idea well. One family member immediately called the idea selfish and embarrassing, saying it made the couple seem controlling and ungrateful.
Now the couple is questioning whether their attempt to protect the atmosphere of their wedding crossed a line.
Here are the screenshots so you can read the full story yourself.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comOP is getting married soon, but is worried about how to manage the speeches of family members. Their fear is that too many people may want to talk, which will eat deep into the ceremony
Reddit.comConsequently, OP and their partner are planning to limit the number of people who will talk on that day
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The couple is considering two options. Interestingly, one will require the intending speakers to audition for a chance to be selected on that day
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Meanwhile, OP’s sister is adamant that their plans are terrible and selfish
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“YTA Maid of honor, best man, father of the bride; that's who usually gives speeches.”
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“Pick a couple of people you trust or are most relevant and tell the others you already have people giving speeches.”
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“Who cares who wants to speak, you pick your parents, best man, maid of honour and call it a day.”
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“Just limit the speakers to whoever is closest to you.”
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“Why not go the whole hog and have a hunger games for the ‘honor’…”
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“If my friend asked me to audition to speak at their wedding I’d be pissed.”
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Wanting a smooth, enjoyable reception is understandable, but so is feeling hurt when enthusiasm is filtered or ranked. Intent matters, but so does perception, and not everyone hears structure as kindness.
The overwhelming majority of Redditors are totally against the couple's idea. Rather than making family members and friends go through an audition, the couple has been advised to give the privilege of making a speech to the maid of honor, best man, and parents, as is practised in many weddings.
What do you think? Would the couple's approach feel reasonable or disrespectful to you? And do you agree with the suggestion from the Reddit community? Share your thoughts in the comments.
