Nonprofit Helped 300 Terminally Ill Couples Create Their Dream Weddings Against All Odds

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned relationship therapist, emphasizes the importance of creating meaningful moments in the face of adversity. “When couples are faced with terminal illness, their love story becomes even more poignant,” she explains. “Celebrating their bond through a wedding can provide a sense of closure and joy amidst the pain.”

On any typical day, Lacey Wicksall, the executive director of a nonprofit organization, is busy answering calls from couples across the country who are madly in love but are facing a race against time. This is exactly why Wicksall connects with them.

“I just got off the phone with a couple a few hours ago, and I still have tears in my eyes,” Wicksall shares, reflecting on a recent call with a couple applying for one of the nonprofit’s weddings. “We were all in tears. It’s hard.”

Since 2009, the organization has arranged nearly 300 ceremonies by collaborating with wedding industry professionals who contribute everything from catered meals and wedding attire to venues, videographers, and DJs. Wicksall explains, “When you're going through a tragedy, you just need someone to walk into your darkness and do something nice for you.

And that's what we're here to do — to provide a respite in the middle of the storm.” Couples, often referred to the organization by nurses or support groups, apply through the organization’s website.

Before being chosen for an interview with Wicksall and “wish coordinator” Megan Biehl, the applicants' health status is confirmed through their doctor or hospice worker. After this, the team works to learn more about the couple and what they envision for their special day.

Ricardo and Eunice Hernandez had been married for eight years when he received a pancreatic cancer diagnosis in 2018. The organization helped them fulfill their wish for a 10-year vow renewal in March 2022. Sadly, he passed away five months later.

Photo: Tay Brauer

Beth Freeman and Candace Moore tied the knot in Long Beach, California, in February 2024, 16 years after their initial meeting and four years following Beth’s diagnosis of metastatic colon cancer. Unfortunately, she passed away two months after their wedding.

Danforth Neal Photography

Rich and Karen Mastropietro renewed their vows in July 2019 in celebration of their 25th wedding anniversary. Karen passed away two years later, following a four-year battle with ovarian cancer.

Photo: Trent Bailey

The Role of Ritual in Healing

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, emphasizes that rituals of connection, such as weddings, can significantly strengthen bonds during challenging times. He states, "Rituals help couples create shared meaning and foster emotional intimacy, which can be vital when facing life's uncertainties." Celebrating love through a wedding, especially for terminally ill couples, serves as a powerful reminder of their shared journey and commitment.

Moreover, establishing these rituals can be a source of comfort and stability. As couples navigate their circumstances, they may benefit from integrating small, meaningful practices into their daily lives to enhance emotional support.

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a pioneer in positive psychology, highlights the importance of fostering positive emotions during times of distress. She explains that these emotions can broaden one's perspective and encourage resilience. "In situations where terminal illness looms, cultivating joy through moments like a wedding can serve as an antidote to despair," she notes.

Additionally, couples can implement gratitude exercises, such as sharing three things they appreciate about each other daily. This practice can help shift focus from the illness to the love and support present in their lives, creating lasting emotional benefits.

“We ask a lot of questions in the interview about their story,” Wicksall explains. “'Tell us how you met, how you discovered your diagnosis, and why is it important for you to get married or renew your vows?

And what do you love about each other?' So many couples are never asked that question. We give them each the chance to speak, and they normally cry the entire time — and so do we.”

If chosen, the nonprofit, which allocates $2,000 for each “wish” in addition to donated services, starts reaching out to wedding planners in the couple’s area, sharing their story and asking if they would be willing to help organize the event.

“When they called me, I was like, ‘I can't say no,’” recalls Georgia-based wedding planner Lydia Leek, who coordinated a wedding in August for a young couple, Skylar Bernstein and Sam Wombough, after the 22-year-old bride-to-be was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of brain cancer.

Given the urgency, Leek immediately got to work, dedicating hours to speaking with Bernstein and Wombough to understand the atmosphere they envisioned for their wedding. Afterward, she contacted her network of vendors to see if they would be interested in contributing by donating their services.

“I spoke to more than 12 of them, from florists and photographers to cake caterers, and everyone was so willing to help,” she recalls. “I didn’t have to ask anybody twice.

They all just said yes.”

Wicksall and her organization worked quickly to fulfill Tommy Szmelter and Hillary Moore's wish for a wedding in November 2021, five years after Hillary was diagnosed with a rare type of adrenal cancer. She passed away three months later.

Photo: Ed and Aileen Photography

The outcome was a nearly $60,000 wedding at the Conley Creek venue in Blairsville, Georgia, set against the stunning backdrop of the Blue Ridge Mountains. “It was everything I could have dreamed of,” Bernstein says, describing it as "perfect."

“And it was all done for us.” Unsurprisingly, these ceremonies often go beyond being just weddings or vow renewals; they become a celebration of life.

“People often tell us how wonderful it is to get everyone they love together in the same room before they pass away,” Wicksall shares. “A lot of times, our 'wishes' are very much like a living funeral.

We did one two years ago where the groom went to sleep and died the night of his wish. Every single person he loved got to be there to say goodbye to him that night.”

Soon after Tess and Courtney Maki-Dawson began dating in 2014, Tess was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Wicksall’s nonprofit helped arrange their wedding in July 2019. Despite facing several challenges, multiple surgeries, and the further spread of her cancer, Tess continues to live with the disease.

Photo: Seth and Beth Photography

Over time, Wicksall has realized that even the best-planned ceremonies often need to adapt at the last moment due to health complications. “If we have a venue lined up with everything totally planned out and at the last minute the person takes a turn for the worse, we can pivot and do it in their backyard or in a hospital room,” she explains.

“Our teams fully understand that at the end of the day, it all comes down to what the wish recipient can handle on that day.” For couples who often feel like they're running out of time, the most important thing is that, for a brief moment, Wicksall and her dedicated network of wedding professionals across the country can offer a joyous break from the endless cycle of doctor visits and treatments.

“Moms get to put on a beautiful gown and either wear a wig or wear their normal hair, have their hair and makeup done, and feel beautiful for the first time in 18 months because chemotherapy has ravaged them,” Wicksall shares. “It gives people a day when they just don't have to think about the hell that they're currently living through...

We’re in the business of hope because hope gives people something to look forward to and something to live for.”

Clinical Perspective & Next Steps

The impact of a wedding for terminally ill couples extends beyond the day itself; it creates lasting emotional connections that can transform their experience. As Dr. Alexandra Solomon points out, celebrating love in the face of adversity not only brings joy but also offers a sense of closure. By incorporating expert insights from professionals like Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, couples can enhance their emotional well-being during difficult times.

Embracing rituals and practicing gratitude can cultivate resilience and foster deeper connections. Ultimately, these moments serve as a testament to the enduring power of love, even amidst life's challenges.