Groom Bans His Female Family Members From His Own Wedding After They Showed Up Wearing White Gowns To "Prank" His Bride
They said it's a joke and the ultimate test to see if she's worthy of being part of the family.
We couldn't make up this story if we wanted to, so let's just dive in. OP (original poster) is a 33-year-old man who's about to get married. He has a large family dominated by women.
The women in the family, spanning from grandmothers to female cousins, love to joke around and tease. They formed a clique to amplify the teasing, and by OP's own admission, this female unit is toxic.
They would tease and roast any new woman trying to marry into their family as a form of a "decency test." They comment on the new woman's looks and style to the point of breaking her down and damaging her self-esteem.
After a few months of these jokes, they would declare the woman "fit" to be considered family. Then the newly initiated member would join in on the teasing, which OP and his dad say is simply crazy.
When OP introduced his girlfriend, he made it clear he wouldn't tolerate this form of abuse against her. They went behind his back and made fun of her looks as well as her job on social media.
OP called them out, and they gave the flimsy excuse of "we're just testing the waters to see if she's capable of being part of the family." He made them apologize one by one, including his own mom, which they initially refused to do but eventually agreed to after OP threatened not to invite them to the wedding.
Weeks before the wedding, OP heard some upsetting rumors that the toxic clique was planning to pull an "ultimate test" on the day of the ceremony. They were planning to wear white gowns to test OP's girlfriend.
OP's brother warned him about this plan, so OP had to make another announcement. He stated that if any of them, including his mom, followed through with the prank, he would kick them out of the wedding.
They vehemently swore they wouldn't do such a thing, which was, of course, a lie.
On the day of the wedding, the clique of toxic women each showed up wearing white gowns. True to his word, OP kicked them out despite their obnoxious protests and flimsy excuses.
The older women of the group, including OP's mom, also showed up in white. They were harder to remove, but OP managed after threatening to take harsher actions.
OP's mom told him to step aside and let her through, but he refused. Most of the men were stunned by what was happening, but OP's dad supported him fully.
OP's wife was hurt beyond words, and so were the bullies. His cousins posted on social media, trying to play the victim, saying OP barred all the women in the family from coming to the wedding because his new wife is so insecure she can't stand to have other women there.
An argument ensued, and OP's mom told him he took things too far because they were simply joking. He said their prank crossed a line.
His mom claimed they only wanted to see if she would turn into one of those bridezillas after seeing them dressed in white. They were going to change into something else after the prank was done.
Furthermore, she said that OP ruined his own wedding by kicking them out and making a scene. She also said that OP should bring his wife and apologize to them.
OP has stopped talking to them since that conversation with his mother. In turn, they have excluded OP and his wife from everything.
More-Concern3267
The messy situation has made OP doubt his choice to kick them out. Read below and decide if OP is the a**hole:
More-Concern3267
"Which is crazy, as my dad says."
More-Concern3267
"Everyone immediately apologized."
More-Concern3267
"They refused to leave."
More-Concern3267
"I had an argument with them."
More-Concern3267
OP added more information to clear some things up:
More-Concern3267
Even the young kids are affected by this hurtful bullying.
More-Concern3267
Imagine how OP's wife felt when all of this was going on. Fortunately, OP showed that he will always have her back.
wannabyte
The wife's side of the family was probably too shocked to react.
flooperdooper4
It would definitely raise a lot of red flags, although it's doubtful this is the first time they've heard about this behavior.
[deleted]
OP's family may be toxic as hell, but he sure isn't; quite the opposite, actually.
JanuarySoCold, intdev
After the way he acted, OP has nothing to prove about who his priority is.
Taleya
If it walks like a frat, behaves like a frat, then it is a frat, or in this case, a sorority.
Escritortoise
Pretty sure there's a movie about mean girls they can learn from, but they would probably think it's a documentary or something.
AQualityKoalaTeacher
It's so awful that it wasn't their only attempt at "pranking."
AQualityKoalaTeacher
If the "joke" is at someone's expense, then it's not a joke; it's bullying, plain and simple.
CrazySnekGirl
No one in that group had the brainpower to think that this was a bad idea.
CrazySnekGirl
We've barely scratched the surface of their horrendous behavior.
ColoHusker
OP should stay the course and refuse to relent to their demands despite being ostracized.
ColoHusker
It's one of the basic rules of society.
pennywhistlesmoonpie
They knew, but they wanted to deliver the maximum amount of pain possible.
More-Concern3267
Down the line, they will also be horrible influences on OP's children should they decide to have them.
itsjustmo_
They never grew out of high school.
maggienetism
OP and his wife sound like very reasonable people who know and respect boundaries.
More-Concern3267
It's fun when the garbage takes itself out.
Positive_Mango_2783
Can't believe that they're shocked and offended when called out for being bullies.
More-Concern3267
Did she think she could get away with posting the reverse of what happened on social media?
patjames904
Someone drafted a post that OP can use to reply to his cousin's Facebook rant.
[deleted]
OP's cousin is projecting her insecurities. Don't forget to keep the receipts, OP!
thundaga0, More-Concern3267
It's pretty amazing how "normal" OP turned out to be.
Excellent-Jello7894
OP doesn't need to take their toxic energy into the next wonderful chapter of his life.
Excellent-Jello7894
Good on you, OP, for recognizing their awful behavior and not condoning it.
More-Concern3267
Do not let them get away with this.
Crick_Elf
This is, in fact, a very important hill worth dying on.
Crick_Elf
How dense do you have to be to think that it would be funny to pull a prank on your own son's wedding day? They think they have noble intentions and are just filtering out the bad women from the family.
If that's their goal, they've obviously failed, seeing that the toxic women are already in the family. OP and his wife deserve to take an extended honeymoon somewhere far enough from the bullies that they never have to speak to them again.
