Why I Only Hug My Partner: Setting Boundaries or Being Rude? | AITA

Some people treat hugs like an automatic social password. OP did not.

Here’s the messy part, OP isn’t out there refusing affection to be dramatic. She’s just honest about her boundaries, even with her family, she prefers side hugs or only hugs when someone really needs it. Her little sister tries to “hug onto” her as a joke, but backs off when OP says stop. So when a random party guest gets offended and starts pressuring her with “it’s just a hug,” things spiral fast.

By the time OP’s friend hears the bad-mouthing, the whole night has turned into a weird debate about whether “intimate” equals “rude.”

Original Post

So I don’t really like people touching me in general, really only my partner. I don’t really know why, but I only ever feel comfortable with being physical with only my significant other.

Like even hugging, I don’t really hug my family much, if I do it’s a side hug and only cause they really need it. My inner family understands this and respects this for the most part (though my little sister likes to h**g onto me sometimes as a joke which I find funny but she’ll let go when I tell her seriously to let me go).

Well recently I went to a party and I had an encounter where someone got offended that I didn’t want to be hugged. She kinda tried to pressure me into it saying “oh come on it’s just a hug” and I politely said “no thank you I just don’t really like the feeling of being hugged by people unless it’s my partner”.

She started asking me questions on why I felt that way and I basically just said that I feel like hugging is a very intimate action and i don’t really like that feeling unless it’s with my partner. She kinda left after that but my friend came up to me later asking me what happened because apparently she started bad mouthing me to people at the party saying I was being a b***h and rude and that it was weird that I think hugs are se*ual.

To me this was crazy cause imo I never said that, I said they are intimate which to me they are, I don’t like feeling someone else’s body on mine so when I decide to let someone do that it’s because I love them a lot and I want to be intimate with them. I ended up feeling really uncomfortable after this and ended up saying bye to everyone 20 minutes later and left with my bf.

My bf said I wasn’t wrong at all and different people have different boundaries and that’s okay. But I’m worried people may think I’m weird or trying to be rude or a b***h and that wasn’t my intention.

So AITA?

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This is also like the AITA fight where someone withheld inheritance from their childfree sister, after grandpa’s decision,

read the full dispute here.

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The second OP told the party guest, “no thank you,” her refusal stopped being a boundary and started being a rumor starter.

When OP explained that hugs feel intimate and only comfortable with her partner, the guest didn’t accept it and walked off.

Then OP’s friend pulled her aside, because the guest was telling everyone OP was a b***h who thinks hugs are s3xual.

After that, OP felt so uncomfortable she left the party just 20 minutes later, with her boyfriend, not the crowd.</p>

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

Nobody should get to turn OP’s “no hugs” into a public insult, but that party sure tried.

Wait until you see how the piano tip-jar turned the parents’ “well off” friends into instant embarrassment for their kid, after monetizing a piano performance.