Why I Only Hug My Partner: Setting Boundaries or Being Rude? | AITA

AITA for not wanting people to hug me? Discover how one Reddit user navigates social situations where physical touch is expected, sparking a debate on boundaries and consent.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
24 Dec 2025

Why I Only Hug My Partner: Setting Boundaries or Being Rude? | AITA

In a world where physical affection is often seen as a universal language, one Reddit user is raising an essential question about personal boundaries and the right to say no. In their post, the original poster shares an experience at a party where their preference to avoid hugs led to misunderstandings and even backlash from others.

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This situation highlights a common struggle many face when their comfort levels clash with societal expectations around physical touch. The poster explains that they are only comfortable with physical affection from their partner and that hugging from others feels too intimate.

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Despite their polite refusal, they encountered pressure from a fellow party-goer who insisted on a hug, leading to hurt feelings and negative comments about their boundaries. The poster's concerns about being perceived as rude or “weird” resonate with many who share similar sentiments about personal space and consent.

As the conversation unfolds, commenters rally in support of the idea that it’s perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for physical touch. This thread invites readers to reflect on their own experiences and addresses broader issues of consent and the importance of respecting individual comfort levels.

How do you navigate similar situations, and what are your thoughts on the varying perspectives surrounding physical affection?

Original Post

So I don’t really like people touching me in general, really only my partner. I don’t really know why, but I only ever feel comfortable with being physical with only my significant other.

Like even hugging, I don’t really hug my family much, if I do it’s a side hug and only cause they really need it. My inner family understands this and respects this for the most part (though my little sister likes to h**g onto me sometimes as a joke which I find funny but she’ll let go when I tell her seriously to let me go).

Well recently I went to a party and I had an encounter where someone got offended that I didn’t want to be hugged. She kinda tried to pressure me into it saying “oh come on it’s just a hug” and I politely said “no thank you I just don’t really like the feeling of being hugged by people unless it’s my partner”.

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She started asking me questions on why I felt that way and I basically just said that I feel like hugging is a very intimate action and i don’t really like that feeling unless it’s with my partner. She kinda left after that but my friend came up to me later asking me what happened because apparently she started bad mouthing me to people at the party saying I was being a b***h and rude and that it was weird that I think hugs are se*ual.

To me this was crazy cause imo I never said that, I said they are intimate which to me they are, I don’t like feeling someone else’s body on mine so when I decide to let someone do that it’s because I love them a lot and I want to be intimate with them. I ended up feeling really uncomfortable after this and ended up saying bye to everyone 20 minutes later and left with my bf.

My bf said I wasn’t wrong at all and different people have different boundaries and that’s okay. But I’m worried people may think I’m weird or trying to be rude or a b***h and that wasn’t my intention.

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So AITA?