Workplace Tension Erupts Over One Uncut Doughnut
When grabbing dessert at work went horribly wrong.
Workplace treats are usually a small gesture meant to celebrate a birthday or serve as rewards to staff for a job well done. Everyone digs in and uses it as a way to settle in for the day's work ahead.
However, for one employee (OP), grabbing a simple doughnut ended up stirring more drama than they expected at their workplace…not once, but twice.
OP explained that in one of their workplaces, their boss had brought in doughnuts as a reward for the team. Seeing how tasty it looked, they helped their-self to one whole donut for the day.
Surprisingly, their boss frowned at this and subsequently started cutting the donuts in half before bringing them into the office. This was to prevent anyone else from having a full piece to themself.
Fast forward to the second workplace: desserts were laid out on a plate, and OP, arriving late in their shift, assumed it was okay to take a full doughnut since everyone else must have had their fill.
To OP’s surprise again, a coworker gave them a surprised look, leaving them feeling guilty for even eating any in the first place.
Ever since both incidents, OP has been disturbed. The desserts were whole, without any clear instructions about portions. So, what exactly had they done wrong?
To them, taking a single doughnut seemed reasonable. But coworkers and management interpreted it differently, turning a small act of enjoyment into a debate over etiquette.
It’s a story that makes you think about how simple gestures in shared spaces can quickly spiral into awkward moments.
Scroll down to read the full story and see how a single doughnut caused an office stir.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comOP's boss brought donuts to work as a reward for workers. Well, OP helped their-self to one whole donut, which ended up annoying their boss
Reddit.comAnother time, donuts and other desserts were brought in again at OP’s second workplace. And just like before, they ate one whole donut alone, which annoyed a few people
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Workplace dynamics can be complex, especially when it comes to communal meals. Dr. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and author, emphasizes that sharing food in a work environment often entails unspoken rules and social hierarchies.
Her research suggests that misunderstandings around food can trigger deeper conflicts, often related to power dynamics and inclusion.
Dr. Orloff explains that addressing these issues openly can foster a more inclusive environment, where everyone feels valued. Encouraging dialogue about food preferences and sharing can help mitigate future tensions.
Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, posits that transparency and openness are crucial in resolving workplace tensions. She encourages individuals to share their feelings and perspectives, fostering an environment of trust.
Brown suggests that when employees feel safe to express their concerns, it reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings escalating into conflicts. Implementing 'vulnerability circles'—spaces for open conversations—can nurture a supportive atmosphere that allows employees to share their experiences and cultivate understanding.
From OP’s point of view, serving a whole donut or cake on a plate gives off the feeling that taking a full piece for yourself is acceptable
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We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community
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“NTA. If I come in and see half a cut-up donut, I’m not eating the other half.”
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Communication is Key
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, asserts that effective communication is vital in resolving workplace conflicts.
He suggests employing 'I' statements, which focus on personal feelings rather than placing blame, to express concerns without escalating tensions. For example, instead of saying, 'You took the last doughnut,' one might say, 'I felt disappointed when the doughnut was gone.' This approach promotes understanding and minimizes defensiveness.
Implementing regular team check-ins can also help address grievances before they escalate into larger issues, fostering a healthier workplace culture.
“Who brings in donuts and expects people to know they are supposed to cut them in half?”
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“NTA. Cut up doughnuts in the office skeeve me out.”
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“The serving size of donuts could not be simpler: One donut.”
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A workplace psychologist, Dr. Amy Cuddy, emphasizes the importance of non-verbal communication in team dynamics. She argues that body language can significantly influence how messages are received.
Her studies highlight that maintaining an open posture can create a more welcoming atmosphere during conversations about sensitive topics, like the doughnut incident. When discussing conflicts, being mindful of body language can help convey sincerity and openness.
Cuddy suggests practicing active listening and showing empathy, which can bridge communication gaps and enhance team cohesion.
“NTA. That’s crazy as f**k to me. Take the whole thing and don’t feel guilty.”
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“NTA. Taking a whole donut is normal.”
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“Most people are weirded out by someone touching or cutting their doughnut.”
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Team-Building Strategies
Experts like Dr. Patrick Lencioni advocate for team-building exercises to foster stronger relationships among colleagues. Lencioni emphasizes that understanding each other's personalities and preferences can reduce misunderstandings and promote cooperation.
Implementing fun activities, such as team lunches or cooking classes, can encourage bonding and pave the way for open dialogue about workplace norms.
Creating a culture where everyone feels free to express their opinions can lead to smoother interactions and a more harmonious work atmosphere.
From the Reddit comments, we can see that the community is solidly behind OP on this, donut matter.
In fact, a lot of Redditors revealed that they wouldn’t be comfortable picking up half a donut if they saw it lying there on a plate. This would spark questions about “Who touched it last?”…“How was it cut?”…” Was the knife clean?” etc.
One Redditor also noted that the proper serving for a donut is “one donut,” and nothing less.
We’d love to get your thoughts on this story, so don’t hesitate to share your thoughts in the comments.
Expert Opinion
This situation highlights how social norms and expectations can shape our behavior, especially in communal settings like the workplace. The confusion over the uncut doughnut likely stems from unspoken rules about sharing and fairness, which can evoke feelings of guilt or anxiety when those norms are perceived to be violated. It's interesting how something as simple as a doughnut can spark strong emotional reactions when it touches on deeper issues of belonging and etiquette.Therapeutic Insights & Recovery
Addressing workplace tensions, like those arising from a seemingly trivial incident, requires a multifaceted approach. Integrating expert insights from psychologists and relationship specialists can help foster a culture of open communication, empathy, and understanding.
Encouraging dialogue about preferences, utilizing effective communication strategies, and incorporating team-building activities can empower employees to navigate conflicts more constructively. Ultimately, creating an inclusive and respectful workplace environment will not only enhance morale but also promote productivity and collaboration among team members.
