People Discuss The Worst Punishment That They Were Ever Given As Kids And Some Of Them Are Lowkey Messed Up

One of the worst things about growing up is when your parents decide to inflict a horrible punishment on you and then say, "Look, it's not that bad; my parents used to do [insert more horrible thing here] to me!" Like, sure, Susan, but this is messed up too!

A thread over on Reddit asked people what the worst punishment they ever received as kids was, and I am not going to lie, some of them are pretty messed up.

Warning: some of these are pretty harsh and could definitely be classified as child abuse—read on with caution. For more, head on over to Reddit to read the thread there.

Just a fancy star, kind of?

“My mom said I couldn’t have a best friend anymore because my best friend and I were drawing pentagrams on MS Paint at our after-school program, pretending they were transmutation circles from an anime called Fullmetal Alchemist (pentagrams are much easier for a 9-year-old to draw than an intricate alchemy array).My mom immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was devil worshipping, despite my friend and I not even knowing what a pentagram really meant. This led to my mom telling every single teacher and after-school care worker not to allow me to be anywhere near my friend.My friend moved away, and my mom wouldn’t let me email her to stay in touch. I’m 24 now and haven’t had any close friends since. Christina, if you’re out there, I still miss you.”

Research indicates that harsh punishments can have long-lasting negative effects on a child's psychological development. According to a study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, children subjected to severe disciplinary actions often exhibit increased levels of anxiety and aggression.

Over time, this can lead to maladaptive coping strategies and difficulties in emotional regulation. It's crucial for parents to adopt more constructive disciplinary methods, such as positive reinforcement and open communication, to nurture healthy emotional development in children.

Wonder why it didn't (But glad it is better now!)

“Beatings will continue until your morale improves.”In all seriousness.Life got better, and I never see my dad anymore. He and my mom ask when I’m having kids and why I haven’t seen them in years, despite living probably 30 minutes from them.”

That's messed up.

“When I was around 6 years old, my stepdad woke me up in the night by pulling me out of bed and yelling that I had gotten pee on the toilet seat.He took me out on the front porch, and while he was paddling me, the rail I was bracing against broke, and I fell off the porch.”

You can't just pretend that never happened...

“When I was in year 2 (UK), so six or seven years old, I was an unruly child, to say the least. I was undiagnosed with ADHD. My mum had enough and told me I was getting adopted. I distinctly remember telling classmates I was leaving to live somewhere else.My mum made me tidy my room and take what I wanted in a bag, and I went to my auntie's house (my mum's sister) to wait for the lady to pick me up. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I must have, and I woke up in my auntie's spare bedroom. She took me to school that day, and my mum picked me up, and I went home as if nothing had happened.Years later (I’m in my late thirties now), I brought this up to my mum, and she acts like it never happened. Her exact words were, “You’re living in a fantasy; that never happened.” So yeah, that messed with my head quite a bit.”

Longest 6 weeks ever

“My mum took everything out of my room except a blanket. My radio, books, toys—you name it.I was locked in there for the UK summer holidays. They are six weeks long.”

With no apology

“I was grounded for 6 months straight, which meant I was locked in my room (not with an actual physical lock), and I wasn’t allowed to leave except for dinner, the bathroom, and to go to school. I had zero toys; I owned no books. I had nothing to do but get lost in my head, and at one point my radio was taken away, so I was left in complete silence. I was between 10 and 13.Why was I grounded? My dad thought either my brother or I stole his camera and sold it, and until we told him who did it, we were both grounded. Finally, after 6 months, he cleaned his room and found his camera and said we were ungrounded; we never even got an apology.After that, my dad continued to ground me for blocks of months at a time. I ended up being grounded and isolated for 1.5 years total between 10 and 13 years old. Being trapped in my head for that long has messed me up mentally, permanently.”

NO

“In the 1980s, my father was a radioman and often had spare parts lying around.Whenever I was rebellious toward him, he was fond of whipping my bare back with a metal radio antenna.”

Even worse

“My mom pulled down my pants and hit me with the brush side of a hairbrush… in front of my three fellow 5-year-old friends.I was innocent. She didn’t believe me.”

Ugh. Also bizarre punishment

“I got put on restriction for 6 months for doing something my mom said I could do. But then she said she never gave me permission to do it, even though another adult was sitting there and confirmed he heard her give me permission to do it.I also had to pick up all the rocks in the vacant lot next to our house and put them in a pile on weekends as part of the punishment.”

WHAT

“My uncle would have me stand in a T-pose and hold books. Not too bad.Then I had to stand on my toes. Then he would put nails sticking up under my heels. He would dare me to relax.”

That's intense

“I was driven about 30 minutes outside of my city to an isolated, large, and creepy-looking building, which I was told was an orphanage.I was given the choice of 'telling the truth' and admitting to something I had not done or being left there.I am 38 and still think about this from time to time.”

Rock moving punishments appear to be common?

“The pointless ones.We had landscaping rocks in our yard from an unfinished project; they were probably 30 lbs each.After a number of other punishments failed, my parents came up with the 'move rocks' punishment. I'd have to move 30 or so of these rocks 50 yards, set them up into a particular shape (square, circle, etc.), have my parents check them, and then move them all back.The pointlessness of it all was the worst.”

The Cycle of Intergenerational Trauma

When discussing childhood punishments, it’s crucial to consider the concept of intergenerational trauma, which refers to the transmission of trauma effects from one generation to the next.

Research from Dr. Bessel van der Kolk emphasizes that children who experience harsh discipline often internalize these experiences, which can manifest as anxiety or behavioral issues later in life.

It's essential to understand that these punitive measures might stem from the parents' own unresolved trauma or learned behaviors.

Recognizing this pattern can help break the cycle and promote healthier parenting practices.

Positive discipline strategies, informed by developmental psychology, can help mitigate the adverse effects of harsh punishments.

According to the APA, techniques such as positive reinforcement, consistency, and open communication foster a more supportive environment.

Parents can learn to replace punitive measures with approaches that encourage emotional regulation and resilience, ultimately benefiting both the parent-child relationship and the child's development.

Psychological Analysis

This discussion highlights a common pattern where parents replicate behaviors they experienced in their own upbringing.

By recognizing these patterns, individuals can consciously choose to adopt more constructive disciplinary approaches that prioritize emotional health and understanding.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological aspects of punishment reveals significant insights into parent-child dynamics.

Studies show that fostering empathy and understanding in disciplinary practices can lead to healthier relationships in adulthood.

Promoting such awareness is vital for creating nurturing environments that break the cycle of trauma.

The Cycle of Trauma

Many parents perpetuate cycles of trauma unknowingly, often believing that harsh punishments are a form of discipline. According to Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned child psychiatrist, this can lead to a 'neurobiological imprint' that affects emotional responses.

His research emphasizes the importance of nurturing relationships in childhood for healthy development. Parents can break this cycle by seeking out trauma-informed parenting resources and engaging in supportive communities that promote healthy discipline alternatives, ultimately fostering a more empathetic approach to child-rearing.

Analysis & Recommendations

The psychological ramifications of harsh punishment during childhood can be profound and long-lasting. Research shows that adopting compassionate parenting practices can significantly improve children's mental health outcomes. For instance, studies indicate that supportive, nurturing environments lead to better emotional resilience and social skills.

Incorporating techniques such as positive discipline not only benefits the child but also strengthens the parent-child bond. By consciously choosing empathy over punishment, parents can help cultivate a new generation that values understanding and compassion.